Is This a Coffee / Drink or a Date? (Guest Article)

coffee date drinkWe have been encouraged so much over the past decade by the dating advice books and magazine to take things easy, to keep it light and casual when meeting someone new, not to put any pressure on each other and not have any expectations. We thus may have gone to the extreme of keeping those encounters that are supposed to be first dates too casual and completely non-romantic. What used to be a first date, full of hope and anticipation for romance, connection and passion is now anything but that.

As a woman of mixed ethnicity in her early thirties, I know that men find me attractive both because of the looks I get wherever I go, and because of the modeling work I have done for several local agencies over the years, that I know don’t accept just anyone for modeling. Ever since my 6-year relationship ended about a year and half ago, I have been “actively” dating.  It’s amazing to me how much things have changed since my days of meeting guy before my last relationship. I have met quite a few men since my recent break-up, and yet no one asked me “out”. It’s always “let’s get a drink” or “let’s get coffee”. No one seems to want or no one seems to have the balls to put their ego on the line and make the girl feel special by asking her out.  Some suggest that the chivalry is dead. Forget about chivalry. A far more basic flirting seems to be gone.

The last few guys I met while out and about offered me their number instead of asking me for one. What’s wrong with them and what’s wrong with the world? Have they forgotten that they are men and I am the girl? Or have they been brainwashed to be a challenge with girls for way too long, not realizing that few things are more attractive to us, women, than the guy who goes after what he wants?  And the ones who ask me for my number, start sending me “witty” text messages that are only funny to them, instead of picking up the phone, hearing my voice, letting me hear their voice and again – asking me out. Do they really think girls whose texting schedule is already full with their friends and co-workers want another texting buddy?

are there any benefits to this trend of becoming ever more passive and casual on the part of men that I am not yet aware of? Do guys today really think that giving out their business cards to the women they meet is better than asking women for a phone number? Would a “real” man ask the girl he is hitting on “Are you on Facebook?”

I really hope that I will soon meet the kind of guy who can ask me out, make my brain and other parts tingle, and then lead me in the direction that he wants in his own assertive and charming ways without asking me for permission to hold my hand or kiss me, but instead – just do it. I honestly don’t think it’s too much for any woman to ask from the supposedly stronger sex.

 

Should You Be Googling Your Dates? (Video)

[Continue reading]

Five Effective Ways to Become a More Interesting Guy to Girls

One of the most effective ways of becoming a much more interesting guy to women is also the easiest one - just look at what all the other guys do and don't do that. Instead, do the opposite, and it will make you stand out from the rest in so many … [Continue reading]

Three Things You Might Not Know About Players

Players is one group of men who women generally despise. Being sleazy, telling girls what they want to hear and lying to get into a girl's pants once or twice and then move on to the next target (victim) is what players are known for. However, there … [Continue reading]

Should You Be Loud in Bed with Him?

There has been this joke going around a few years ago: - Why do women fake orgasms? - Because they think that men care. This joke has never been funny to me and primarily because it's so untrue. Guys care very much about whether they are … [Continue reading]

Why She Didn’t Call/Text You Back

Many, if not most, of the disappointments that single guys have in women who they meet and try to attract, go out with and date stem from having unreasonably high expectations from a female behavior.  They expect that behavior to be 100% rational and … [Continue reading]

Online Dating Tips for Women: A Great Guy Will Not Respond to a Boring Profile

Take a hard look at your OkCupid/Match/POF profile. What does it say about you? Every word you use works either in your favor or against you. Does your dating profile suggest that you have interesting or funny thoughts, opinions or ideas, or does it … [Continue reading]