So, you were working in the same office with this girl or perhaps you were in the same class at school, and one day you asked her out to only find out that she was not interested in talking to you and she basically rejected you. That rejection might have bothered you for a while, and maybe you were even embarrassed to run into her later. You were avoiding her for a while, but lately it looks like she is being more friendly with you than usual and you suspect that she might actually be interested in you now.
Should you ask her out again, even though she rejected you before?
- Absolutely! Why? First of all, people change their mind. The girl might have not wanted to go out with you before for a number of reasons. It’s possible that she was seeing someone at that time or that she had a bad break up with her boyfriend at about that time when you first approached her and expressing interest in getting to know her. It might sound obvious, but things change, people change, and what people want changes as well.
Secondly, it is very common for women to reject a guy and shortly after regret it. At the moment, she wasn’t quite ready to talk to him or didn’t know how to handle the situation and went into a safe “no, thank you” mode. But later, she realized that she actually would like to go out with the guy who asked her out and that she didn’t really mean to reject him. Think about how you react when a stranger initiates a conversation with you by surprise. Almost subconsciously you try to cut the conversation short and move on, because you believe it’s the right thing to do and that’s the social norm. Imagine a beautiful woman comes to you and asks you what time it is. You will answer and you will keep walking almost on auto pilot, because that’s what you are used to doing when you are asked for something like that. When you ask a woman out, you might catch her off guard, thinking about her own issues and not being interested in talking to anyone at that very moment. She might not be interested in talking to you at that specific moment, but this doesn’t mean that she is not single, available and would not like you if she got to know you. If you wonder about how common it is, just check out the “missed connection” section on Craigslist in any city, and you will find dozens of postings by women who talk about how “flustered” they got when this guy talked to them and how much they want to have a second chance at talking to him.
So, how would you go about asking a girl out who rejected you before? The same exact way you would as if you never actually asked her our earlier. There is no reason to make any references to the first time you wanted to go out with her. Talking about that first time she rejected you will do nothing good to your interaction. If things go well between the two of you, you will have plenty of time to laugh about your original encounter later. Part of being a “real man” is letting those little things in the past go and showing your strength by not allowing it to affect your present.