Having the right frame of mind when asking a girl out is of utmost importance to the whole process. In fact, the way you perceive the whole situation of asking anyone out is much more important than the words you use in order to try to make it happen. Moreover, if your frame of mind is right, then the right words will come to you automatically, and even if your words are not perfectly selected, it’s not going to matter, and you are still going to convey your “message” effectively.
Too many guys approach the whole idea of asking a girl out with a completely wrong frame of mind, which is the opposite from the one they should actually have. These guys believe that asking a woman out should be done in the same manner as if they were asking her for something – for some kind of favor. They believe that if a girl agrees to go out with them, she will be doing something really nice for them, and she will not really be enjoying it herself. This kind of mindset makes any guy come across as very insecure and undesirable. Making it look like you are asking her to spend time with you out of her kindness and generosity and not because she would actually enjoy spending time is the wrong way to go. Asking a girl the right way requires truly believing that she should enjoy the experience as much as you do.
Therefore – “Would you like to go out with me sometimes?” is about the worst way to ask a woman out. It’s very uncertain and wishy-washy. From now on, you must start believing that when you ask a woman out you give her a compliment by doing so, and that’s because you really do! Asking someone out is actually a compliment. You flatter her when you ask her out because you are basically telling her that you like her, you are attracted to her and you would like to get to know her better, and therefore you want to go out with her. Whether she is interested in you or not does not change the fact that your making a move is a gesture of positive attention and confidence that’s not all that common these days, and that has be appreciated. Also, once you truly believe that by asking a girl out you are doing something not only for yourself but also for her, you will be in a much better place to expect to her a “yes”.
Just as important is the way in which you ask a woman out. In fact, it’s a much better idea not to actually ask a woman out at all, but instead invite her out. In other words, frame your words as a declarative invitation and not a question. Instead of saying: “Would you like to go out with me?” say “Hey, I am free this Thursday evening. I know this cafe near this park. Lets go down there on Thursday evening, grab something warm and sweet to drink and take a walk in the park together. It will be fun.” You are making a specific suggestion and you are suggesting to meet at a specific date and time without being around the bush. This is what women like, especially the more traditional and the more feminine among them. This will make you come across as a much more confident and a much more attractive guy, who has a simple plan and is not afraid to make it a reality.
Of course, making your date destination a surprise is also a great idea, and if you are set at not telling her where you are taking her, than simply suggesting the specific day and time to meet without more is perfectly appropriate as well.
Lastly, if at all possible – avoid asking anyone out by text, at least the first time you go out with her. I know, I know – everyone seems to be doing that, and even the girls don’t seem to mind that, but it doesn’t really matter. Remember – your goal is to a be a different and a little more unique. It’s so easy to stand out from the rest, when everyone else is following the texting herd. Try to call instead of texting when you ask a girl out on a date, at least when you go out on your first or second date, and the right girl will appreciate and admire that.