When I started this site, I was obsessed with all kinds of marketing strategies – search engine optimization, link directories, advertising on other sites, trying to convince people to visit my site and buy my audio program and books, but it didn’t go very well. Then, one day, one of my good friends told me: “Share your knowledge with the public, create interesting, unique and useful content, and the problem will take care of itself naturally.” This was one of the best kinds of advice I have ever received.
I truly believe that the same principle applies to dating and attracting men/women. Many guys think that by telling a certain girl that they like her and that they are interested in her, she is actually going to like them and be interested in getting to know them in return. Being liked, however, is not the quality that attracts us the most in others. We become attracted to another person and we attract others by showing our attractive qualities. Like a business person who shares his knowledge, a person attracts a potential dating partner by showing who he/she is. This is exactly the reason why telling a girl, who you sit next to at a bar, “I like your hair” is not nearly as good as showing your attractive sense of humor by saying playfully something like “God! This music sucks!”
The exact same thing applies to dating and long-term relationships. A relationship doesn’t thrive on the two people convincing each other verbally that they are meant to be together, but on seeing in each other those qualities that we normally admire in our partner – character, behavior and actions that make us really appreciate the other person and also know that he/she is a rare breed.
As romantic as “I love you and I want to be with you forever” sounds, it doesn’t “cut it” in real life. A woman wants to share her life with a man who loves her, but this alone will not keep her around. That man has to be ambitious, confident, strong, funny, and supportive as an individual. And again – it’s not all about her. His ambition does not need to be directed at her, but at his own professional and social life. This is how he shows that he deserves to be loved and to have a woman’s interest in him.
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Wonderful. Absolutely true.
Thank you.