It is quite possible that the next woman you meet and like is on the “rebound” – she just recently broke with someone or was dumped by someone or otherwise disappointed in a guy who she really liked or even loved and hoped to have a relationship with. As a slang the term “rebound” means emotionally fragile, possibly desparate, easy, and is looking for just anyone who would fill out the void and sadness, created by that painful break up. Of course, if you happened to be interested in a woman who is on the rebound, and you are interested in more than just having sex with her, it’s worth knowing how to approach that kind of woman in a way that would make you get along with her and help both of you develop a connection. There are a few simple things you can and should do to help your interaction with a woman who seems to be on a “rebound”:

1. Minimize the time you spend talking about that hurtful experience. While you want to listen to her and show empathy, you do not want to turn your dates into therapy sessions where you spend most of the time consoling her and making her feel better. You might think that she appreciates your efforts to cheer her up, in reality you will be getting into a friends zone quicker than you can imagine. The best way to make a woman forget about her painful past and feel better is stay off that subject and focus and talk about completely different things.

2. The other important thing you can do is not to be as aggressive with the woman who is on the “rebound” as you would normally be. Give her time and allow her to feel comfortable near you and to at least somewhat get over that other guy, before she becomes intimitely involved with you. If you rush things and take advantage of the girl’s vulnarable emotional state, she might sleep with you, but she is also likely to disappear on you right after, feeling both confused about her feelings toward you vs that other guy, and embarassed that she had sex with you for the wrong reasons – not because she liked you or has developed a deeper interest and conection with you, but because she tried to forget about that other guy through having sex with someone else, whoever that is.

It hurts to be on a rebound, but it is equally unpleasant being that guy, who the woman is rebounding on, so to speak, if you really like her. By staying away from the topic of her ex in your conversations with her and by not rushing her and pressuring her to have sex with, you will both impress her with your mature approach and will increase the chances of getting along with her in the longer term.

I keep hearing stories from my friends about how they travel to Europe for just a few weeks and end up falling in love with someone while there, after being single at their hometown for a long time and often – for years. I also hear about how the locals in my town (San Francisco) fall for people who come to the city for a short visit or business. I have also personally experienced having strong feelings toward a woman who was visiting in town on two separate occasions. Reflecting back on my own experience as well as studying the experiences of other people who, I believe there is a strong common pattern and reason as to why people tend to develop strong feelings under the above circumstances that every person can apply to their behavior in order to be more attractive when they meet someone and when they go out on a date. There is one element that clearly distinguishes our behavior when we travel – the things we bring up and talk about when traveling is usually very different from the conversation we have when we go out in our home town and when we deal with locals. When you travel or when you go out with a tourist, you talk about your or his/her impressions of the new place one of you or both of you is seeing. You are having a great time, exchanging impressions about the new great places you see, the sites you admire, the people you meet, the foods you try, etc. You are sharing with each other generally positive experiences that are conducive to creating mutual comfort and romantic environment. Your conversation is usually nowhere near the mundane and somewhat boring subjects the locals would be talking about such as your job, school, paying bills, equity in your house, and recession. This may be very refreshing, and it often comes in strong contrast to your many previous interactions with your local dates, likely to create an emotional connection.

But, you don’t have to travel in order to adopt some of those attractive behaviors. You can incorporate the same behavior into your own interactions with the opposite sex when you go out at your home city. Staying away or at least minimizing the time you spend in the beginning on discussing the mundane, routine subjects such as getting into the specifics about your career goals, and the details of today’s economic and political issues  is a good idea if you want to avoid the “friends zone” and create romantic dynamics between you and the other person.  Of course, no one can expect you to act like a tourist and look around yourself with excitement like you don’t know where you are, but keeping a conversation on a lighter note, with wit and humor is of critical importance of being perceived by your counterpart as a romantic prospect rather than a friend or some kind of business associate.

Plenty of articles were written about the common courtesy of not answering a cellphone on a date, as it is generally considered rude and inconsiderate toward the person you are out with. However, I believe that even just checking your cellphone compulsively, whether it’s for time, or for incoming text messages or e-mails can be just as rude as answering the phone or even more inappropriate as it likely to make the person you are out with even less important than answering an actual call.

When you are out on one of your first dates with someone you like and would like to be romantically involved, or even when you are meeting up with a friend who you haven’t seen in a while and are not likely to see very often in the future, it is only fair that you will give each other full and undivided attention during those few hours you spend together. Having a conversation with another person who you don’t see very often and who you are interested in maintaining some kind of connection, and taking your eyes off him/her to look at your cellphone for incoming texts or e-mails like so many people do communicates to even not so perceptive and observant people that they are not all that important to you and that your mind is elsewhere while they are talking to you, as you are probably thinking about the e-mail/text you got or about a phone call you are expecting, or you are just concerned about what time it is and are really not paying attention to your company.

Whether it’s on purpose or out of habit – it will still make the other person feel the same – insignificant. Speaking of habits, I knew someone who would look at her phone every time there was a pause in our conversation. The moment I took a few seconds to think about what I was going to say next, she would immediately look at her blackberry, scroll down through the messages and try to type something.

Unless you want the other person to feel like they are taken for granted and their presence mean very little to you, you should avoid looking at your phone unless you expect an urgent call during your meeting. The best practice is to simply turn off your phone and put it away so looking at it is not even an issue. And if you absolutely have to answer or make a call or send that text/e-mail, excuse yourself  and take care of business away.

I also believe that a person who puts away his/er cellphone, turns it off for the night and focus the attention on the other person, shows a great degree of strength, confidence and control over his own life. He does not allow anything or anyone to interfere with his personal time. He is the boss of his off-work hours and of his communication with others. He respects himself and the person he is out with to give them the necessary attention and to make them feel heard and appreciated.

As a woman, you can easily distinguish yourself by not doing what so many other women do when they are out with a guy – holding their phone in their hand and constantly playing with it or looking at it. When you focus on the guy you are out with, you are making a statement of maturity, class and better time management skills than those girls who can’t live for a few hours without being “connected” to their friends.

Lets face it, most of the calls we have to make and texts/e-mails we have to respond to do not involve national security, and they can wait for a few hours, so don’t let your cellphone make you and your company feel like your face time with each other is not as important as it really is.

It does hurt to hear your dating partner say “we are just friends” about the two of you to others, when you hope that you had so much more going on than just friends. But wait; don’t despair! Don’t pay too much attention to how your partner calls your relationship. First, it really isn’t about the words but much more so about the actions that define what you have. If you do everything a romantic couple does, then you probably are dating (at least for now). Secondly, your partner might have certain reasons to call the two of you “friends” to others. Perhaps he/she is uncomfortable yet admitting that he or she is dating, or… he/she doesn’t want others to know her business, and she prefers to keep certain things special, between the two of you.

Regardless, if it really bothers you when the person you thought you were dating, called the two of you “friends,” you should definitely address it shortly after. You don’t have to be dramatic or confrontational about it, but it is certainly worth clarifying in a calm or even playful manner: “Hey, I didn’t know we were friends…I thought we were business partners” and wink.

Also, make sure you read this useful article on avoiding the friends zone with women .