Lately, I have been hearing quite a few single women complain that guys are not aggressive enough and that they do not approach women, and don’t come up and talk to them as much as these women would like them to. After speaking with them briefly about this issue, it became very clear to me why this is the case. These women expect guys to do all the “work.” They don’t want to give the men they are interested in or might be interested in any signal of interest whatsoever, fearing that this would make them look needy or desperate. These girls don’t realize that many, if not most, men will not approach a woman if they don’t sense some kind of invitation from a woman.

When a guy is thinking about approaching a woman and he notices that she looks and acts like she is not interested in being disturbed by anyone, this is discouraging to him. A simple smile and an eye contact can and often do go a long way toward giving many guys that little confidence that they need in order to approach and start talking to a woman. This is true in just about any situation.

Making an eye contact and smiling at a guy does not make you needy or desperate. It only makes you look friendly and approachable  - exactly the way you want to look if you are interested in having more guys approach you and start talking to you. This might sound like the oldest and the most basic advice, but it’s still as important as it ever has been. You cannot expect a guy approach you if disconnect yourself from the world by headphones and sunglasses (or both at the same time). There is simply no way around it – your eye contact is the most primal and the most essential element of meeting people. And, even though acting stuck up might make you feel like you are cool, it makes you virtually unapproachable to most civilized men.

It is not a secret that there exists a stigma with regard to living at home and/or living with parents. By the time you reach a certain age, you are expected to go “on your own.” This especially applies to men. This applies more to men than to women and is especially prevalent in the United States. When a woman meets a single and finds out that he lives at home, she is likely to immediately assume that he is not independent and cannot take care of himself, that he has his mother cook for him and do his laundry and that he is otherwise “mama’s boy” who can’t take care of himself and is certainly not ready to take on the responsibilities of a mature man in a relationship. Sometimes, that fact alone that the guy lives at home is a deal breaker from a woman’s perspective.

So, how should both men and women deal with this stigma? Even though the negative assumptions associated with living at home apply more to men and women, I believe women have more control over this issue. The best thing a woman can do is remember that different men live at home for different reasons. Therefore, it is inappropriate to assume that a man cannot take care of himself just because he lives at home. While some guys are indeed spoiled children of their parents who try to avoid facing the real world on their own as long as possible, other men live at home for entirely different and far more “noble” reasons. Some guys actually help their parents financially when living with them, or take care of them and help them with their household duties if their folks are not able to take care of themselves, both. Other men live at home temporarily because they might have lost their job, lost their house or underwent some other unexpected challenging experience that forced them to temporarily move in with their parents, and they are actually actively working on moving out and getting back to their normal, independent life. This can happen to any of us.

So, when you are out with a guy and you find out that he lives at home, don’t rush to assume all those negative qualities about him that so many other women do before you find out why he lives at home, as the reasons you might discover will give you the true insight into what kind of man you are dealing with  – the one who has not yet grown to be a “real” man who someone who is more of a man than many others, because besides handling his own responsibilities he helps and supports the people who are the most close to him. Remember, it’s not the fact that the guy lives at home that should matter, but the reasons for that living situation.

It has been a long-standing and commonly accepted fact that when it comes to attraction, men are more “visual” than women – guys are driven toward women who are more physically attractive, while for women a man’s personality and character generally play a more important role than his looks. This popular theory, however, tends to cloud a very important truth – when it comes to selecting a long-term romantic partner, the most attractive, confident and desirable men are also driven toward those women who possess exceptional personality.

Let’s face it. Attractive women are not that uncommon. Just go to any bar or a club in your area of residence, and you are likely to see a few girls who are “hotter” than last year’s Ms. Universe or any Hollywood actress. However, it is much harder to find a very attractive woman whose personality and character are as “hot” as her body and face. There are a few reasons for this. The power of choice inevitably corrupts a person to a certain extent. If you only had vanilla and chocolate ice cream to choose from when you are at the store, the choice would be easy, and you would likely appreciate either of the flavors. On the other hand, having 50 flavors of ice-cream to choose from confuses you and makes you wonder what you are missing out by choosing one as opposed to the other. Don’t take me wrong – having a choice is a wonderful thing and it’s one of the fundamental principles of freedom, but it also tends to adversely affect our ability to make rational choices and decisions.

The same applies to the strikingly attractive women – many of them, if not most, are corrupted by excess attention from men. They talk to too many guys, go on too many dates, get dumped way too often, and become way too disappointed, jaded, and bitter. Such a history with men creates a “stuck up” woman, who seems hostile and unapproachable. The excess attention from men also tends to keep these women out “having fun” way too much and away from developing their personality and identity.

The few very attractive women who are conscious of the consequences of being in the “scene” for way too long, and who protect themselves from becoming the victims of their own beauty, will win in the dating and relationship world. How so, you wonder? Excellent question!

The reality is that there comes a time in every desirable guy’s life when, after dating many women, he stops and falls head over heals for that one woman. But why? Is she the most attractive woman out of all the others he dated? Probably not. Chances are that her character and personality are the ones that make her stand out and make the guy think “Wow, she is a rare kind… I better not mess this one up, as I am not likely to meet a woman like her any time soon.”

Indeed, she must be special. She must be elegant, feminine, and she probably naturally enjoys pleasing her partner. That woman truly makes her guy feel like a man. She didn’t betray many of the traditional family values that she was brought up to believe in and saw in her own parents’ relationship. She probably believes in gender roles, and she is proud of it. She actually wants the guy to take charge, and seeing a guy take the lead might even turn her on sexually.

Meeting a woman like this is particularly thrilling to a modern guy who lives in a Western civilization, and who is used to dealing with “business” women who like to challenge his masculinity and assert their own and not always in a good way, but going out of their way to show that they can be just like men – those same women who make guys travel to the other side of the world to look for “real” women – women whose souls and hearts have not yet been corrupted by success and status, and the ones who gave rise to the very natural movement among Western men, which is referred to as “Asian fetish,” which we should understand instead of criticizing and mocking.

There is a natural core of femininity, gentleness, softness and sensuality in every healthy, heterosexual woman. Don’t suppress it; let it out and enjoy having it. Some people might try and take advantage of it, but the benefits of exuding femininity will surely outweigh any associated social risks.

Almost every single woman is dreaming about meeting Mr. Right – that great, special guy – unlike most others – who she is going to fall in love with and have a great relationship with. However, not many women do anything about becoming that special woman who the guy of their dreams would want to be with. A typical woman is trying to meet guys in different places – through friends, in bars, cafes and restaurants, and of course on the internet, but that same woman often will not bother to stop, look at herself and see what she could do to become a more attractive and a more desirable woman. They keep experiencing the same disappointments in men over and over again.

You have to remember – that great guy that you are looking to meet is also considered great by some other women. He has options when it comes to dating, and there has to be something about you that will make him want to be with you and not with other women. And while working on yourself and becoming more attractive will not guarantee the “happily-ever-after” outcome, it will surely increase the likelihood of you meeting more and better men – the kind of men you believe your time is worth spending with.

So, how do you go about making yourself more attractive? Of course, there are certain things that we are born with, for better or for worse, and there is little we can or should do to change them (primarily our physical characteristics). But there are simple things we can easily change that can make a big difference in how you come across to the opposite sex. And here is one simple, but practical and effective way to make a few of those changes soon. Think of your male friends who you spend or spent a considerable amount of time with and try to imagine who among all of them is most likely to be brutally honest with you if you specifically asked them to not hold back. Make that short list of guys, approach them and ask them to honestly and openly tell you what they think other guys might not like about you or be turned off by you. Promise to those men that you will not be offended no matter what they say. These men might come up with the simplest things that you never thought were important or didn’t realize that they were as important as these men will tell you they are. Maybe you need to lose 20 lbs or so to be physically much more attractive so that the guys who don’t even look at you today will start noticing you.

Perhaps you need to work on being a better listener and you tend to talk too much. You know very well how tiring it is when someone won’t stop talking or won’t stop bragging about who they are and what they achieved, so consider not being one of those women – ever!

Maybe your male friends think you are too uptight and you can’t take a joke or laugh at yourself when the time is right. This sends a message of very fragile ego and insecurity that you should consider working on.

Maybe you dress way too provocatively, sending the wrong message to men, or you are too dressed down and your clothing doesn’t flatter your body as much as it should. Maybe you are too confrontational in conversations and you think that you are always right, not being able to agree to disagree.

It’s possible that you are late all the time when you are meeting him. That special guy you are looking to meet is probably successful professionally and he is used to being punctual and dealing with other people who respect their time as well as the time of other people. He is likely to have a low tolerance for people for whom he has to wait for half an hour every time he meets them. Don’t be that person.

Perhaps one of your friends will point out that you tend to text too much when you hang out with your friends. Do you do the same when you are out with a guy on a first date? If so, this is a major turn-off to many guys, whether they will call you on it or not.

The above are just some examples of aspects of your behavior and personality that you can change relatively easily to make yourself much more attractive to both your friends and single men and significantly increase your chances of meeting more quality men and eventually ending up in a relationship with Mr. Right.

It is an undeniable and obvious fact that theoretically, any person can be anywhere at any given time. This means that a great guy that could be a great dating and relationship match for you could be at your local grocery store, bookstore, coffee shop, bar, gas station or any other place. Having said that, if you are looking to meet “quality” single guys - someone who is “not like everyone else,” chances are that that kind of guy also does things and goes to places that most other guys don’t.

The average “dude” will be typically hanging out at a sports bar or a club on a Thursday through Sat night drinking and often excessively. The above-average guy, on the other hand, might mix it up a bit, and go one night to a theater to watch a live play, watch a movie with his friend or attend some kind of workshop/seminar. Thus, if you were to go to one of such events, you are probably not going to see random people there who ended up there because they were bored and had nothing better to do. A guy with character, ambition and drive is likely to be going to a graduate school or hang out at a philosophy/psychology section of a bookstore.

Interesting and intellectually advanced guys have an appreciation for art. You are likely to find them in museums and galleries, as well as book signings and discussions.

Guys who are the exception rather than the rule are often busy and more introverted, resorting to online dating. They can be distinguished from the rest by the better writing style of both, their profile and their messages to you.

In other words, one great way to increase your chances of meeting quality single men is by breaking up the routine you might be possibly caught into, such as going out to the same places with your friends. Consider replacing or adding to your typical destinations, so that you are exposed to a different kind of people and a different atmosphere and energy.

You might be living in a smaller town and thinking that there are no such places to go in your area and that generally there are just not that many social options, but I assure you that if you were to open a local newspaper, you would be surprised how many art and culture related events take place in your area every week. And the smaller the event, the more intimate the atmosphere at that event will be, and the more likely you are to interact and meet others.

And make sure you read about  how to meet a quality, single guy when you see one and not make those typical mistakes that many other women make that prevent them from taking advantage of those opportunities.

I often hear women say after they meet a guy: “He is not my type.” Then, they proceed to describe exactly what they are looking for in their perfect dating partner as well as mentioning their absolute deal-breakers. I then like to direct their attention on thinking about one or more guys that they used to really like in their recent or not so recent past and ask them whether those guys matched the “type” they think they like. And the answer is usually “no.”

However, my extensive observations show that many, if not, most people end up dating, falling in love with and forming lasting relationships with people who not only don’t fit their “type,” but who are often in many ways opposite from what these women said they were looking for. The truth is that most people end up dating, having long-term relationships and marrying a person who doesn’t fully fit or even defies their preset type. And this isn’t surprising to anybody who understands and remembers that a romantic partner is more than the sum of his individual qualities. Feeling attraction and love takes more than just meeting certain criteria that we believe must be filled before we fall in love. The best proof of this phenomenon is the fact that sometimes we meet someone who does meet all of our requirements and seems to be perfect in every way, and yet we don’t experience any of those romantic feelings and emotions that we often describe as “chemistry.” Some of us like to say that the reason we are not attracted to these perfect people is because perfect is boring. There must be some truth to that, as part of dating and having an interesting relationship is actually working out the differences and also learning from each other different perspectives on life.

Even purely physical requirements aren’t really all that “solid” for most of us. I have seen too many guys who would “only go for blondes” to only end up falling for a brunette. I have also seen many women who have a strong preference for tall guys to end up in a great relationship with a man of their height or even shorter. Physical beauty comes in all colors and shapes.

Ironically, most of us do not know ourselves well enough to know exactly what we find attractive and unattractive, even though we might think we have figured it all out. Sometimes we are attracted to someone or find someone unattractive for reasons that are beyond our understanding. And, perhaps it was meant to be and stay that way. When it comes to love, passion, and attraction not everything can or should be rationally explained.

So, do you think you have figured out the exact “type” of a man that you are looking to meet and date? If so, think again. The circle of guys you might be interested in is probably much larger than you think. You just have to make sure that you give yourself and those single guys around you a fair chance to get to know you and show you who they really are before you decide whether you are interested in them or not.

It has been a long-standing and commonly accepted fact that when it comes to attraction, men are more “visual” than women – guys are driven toward women who are more physically attractive, while for women a man’s personality and character generally play a more important role than his looks. This popular theory, however, tends to cloud a very important truth – when it comes to selecting a long-term romantic partner, the most attractive, confident and desirable men are also driven toward those women who possess exceptional personality.

Let’s face it. Attractive women are not that uncommon. Just go to any bar or a club in your area of residence, and you are likely to see a few girls who is “hotter” than the last year’s Ms. Universe or any Hollywood actress. However, it is much harder to find a very attractive woman whose personality and character are as “hot” as her body and face. There are a few reasons for this. The power of choice inevitably corrupts a person to a certain extent. If you only had vanilla and chocolate ice cream to choose from when you are at the store, the choice would be easy, and you would likely appreciate either of the flavors. On the other hand, having 50 flavors of ice-cream to choose from confuses you and makes you wonder what you are missing out by choosing one as opposed to the other. Don’t take me wrong – having a choice is a wonderful thing and it’s one of the fundamental principles of freedom, but it also tends to adversely affect our ability to make rational choices and decisions.

The same applies to the strikingly attractive women – many of them, if not most, are corrupted by excess attention from men. They talk to too many guys, go on too many dates, get dumped way too often, and become way too disappointed, jaded, and bitter. Such a history with men creates a “stuck up” woman, who seems hostile and unapproachable. The excess attention from men also tends to keep these women out “having fun” way too much and way from developing their personality and identity.

The few very attractive women who are conscious of the consequences of being in the “scene” for way too long, and who protect themselves from becoming the victims of their own beauty, will win in the dating and relationship world. How so, you wonder? Excellent question!

The reality is that there comes a time in every desirable guy’s life when, after dating many women, he stops and falls head over heals for that one woman. But why? Is she the most attractive women out of all the others he dated? Probably not. But chances are that her character and personality are the ones that make her stand out and make the guy think “Wow, she is a rare kind… I better not mess this one up, as I am not likely to meet a woman like her any time soon.”

Indeed, she must be special. She must be elegant, feminine, and she probably naturally enjoys to please her partner. That woman truly makes her guy feel like a man. She didn’t betray many of the traditional family values that she was brought up to believe in and saw in the relationship of her own parents. She probably believes in gender roles, and she is proud of it. She actually wants the guy to take charge, and seeing a guy take a lead might even turn her own sexually.

Meeting a woman like this is particularly thrilling to a modern guy who lives in a Western civilization, and who is used to dealing with “business” women who like to challenge his masculinity and assert their own, but going out of their way to show that they can be just like men – those same women who make guys travel to the other side of the world to look for “real” women – women whose souls and hearts have not yet been corrupted by success and status, and the ones who gave rise to the very natural movement among Western men, which is referred to as “Asian fetish,” which we should understand instead of criticizing and mocking.

There is a natural core of femininity, gentleness, softness and sensuality in every healthy, heterosexual woman. Don’t suppress it; let it out and enjoy having it. Some people might try and take advantage of it, but the benefits of exuding femininity will surely outweigh any associated social risks.

As I am hanging out at this trendy lounge with my girlfriend and four of her female friends, we are all sitting in a circle, talking, laughing and people watching. At one point, one of the girls whispers: “Wow, that guy is so cute… I wish he came up to me and introduced himself.” I immediately asked her with much curiosity “Which guy? Which guy?” And she responded: “Are you crazy? I am not going to look at him. I don’t want to be that obvious.” With great surprise I asked: “Well, why not?” She then said: “I don’t want him to know that I am interested!”

There was so much I wanted to say in response to that woman’s last comment, but I didn’t know where to start so … with much delay, I comment on that incident now.

There are two kinds of men out there: the small minority of guys who would come up and talk to a woman regardless of whether they get any signs of interest from her; the overwhelming majority of guys, however, do need some kind of “green light” from a woman in order to approach them. It so happens that quality men have bigger egos. And men with bigger egos don’t like to be shut down very much. Men with high self-esteem and sense of self worth appreciate a woman’s attention and would likely not make a move in the absence of it.

Too many women believe that they ought not show any signs of interest in a guy when they are out. This false, unjustified way of thinking significantly reduces those women’s chances for meeting some great men who are around them everywhere. Even the most confident guy is unlikely to approach and start a conversation with a woman if her behavior suggests that she doesn’t want to be bothered and that she is not really interested in what is going on around her.

Why do so many women avoid making any eye contact, smiling and otherwise being friendly in their own subtle but clear, feminine ways with the men they are interested in? The majority say that they don’t want to come across as overly eager, needy and desperate. But this fear is completely unfounded. I have asked over 100 guys what they would think of a woman who would “invite them” to come up to her and meet her with her eyes and gestures. All of those men responded that they would admire such a behavior as a sign of great open-mindedness and confidence.

So, don’t be afraid to show your interest. In fact, remember – showing your interest with your eyes, smile, and other gestures, is often the most essential part of making things happen.

One of the biggest obstacles that so many women have toward meeting more quality single men and eventually meeting Mr. Right or at least finding that great, fulfilling, long-term relationship is painfully simple – they severely restrict the times and the places where they are willing and ready to meet single guys. This leaves the majority of quality single men out of those women’s reach!

I can’t help but wonder about my single female friends who say that they do not want to look at guys when we are out because they are not out to meet guys. This sounds … silly at best, but it’s such a common frame of mind for women to believe that they should only meet a guy when they are out with the sole purpose of meeting one. Indeed, a typical woman is only ready to meet a guy and flirt during those few evening hours on weekends when she is dressed up, feeling attractive, and ready for romance. The rest of the time that same woman will make herself intentionally or unconsciously unavailable, which includes avoiding any eye contact with the men around her and otherwise carrying herself in such a manner that would not invite male attention throughout the day. But time after time, these weekend outings end up in gross disappointments from the atmosphere and the kind of guys that these women are seeing.

Indeed, as I point out in “What You Wish You Knew about Men” dating guide for women life doesn’t work like that and meeting quality men doesn’t happen on demand. A great single guy is not going to come to you when you are ready to meet him and when you feel like talking to and meeting men. That great guy is going to be around you in the most unexpected time and place – probably during the daytime, at a grocery store, gas station, bus stop or anywhere else where you find yourself in your day-to-day activities but where you don’t expect to meet men. Although a bit trite, it is an undeniable fact that the guy you are looking to meet can be anywhere at this very moment.

Surely I wouldn’t suggest that you should go out searching for him with a flashlight on, but you can certainly make one adjustment to your behavior that is likely to dramatically increase your chances of meeting a great guy: make yourself friendly, available and open to meeting guys at all times! This means making friendly eye contact with the men around you regardless of where you are, and being open to having small talk in all casual situations where you interact with men. In other words, take advantage of the opportunities to interact with men that your life is already creating for you and don’t wait to go out to some cheesy bar or a club where you are likely going to judge guys for their drinking habits and vanity anyway. After all, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain from talking to men in natural, daily social situations. If nothing else, a conversation with a guy will be a great exercise of your social skills and will be an interesting experience, and you never know – you might just make a friend who will introduce you to another guy for whom you will fall head over heels.

There are more quality single men out there than you think, but most of them need some kind of subtle invitation from you in order to come up and meet you. If you start giving those men a subtle but clear signal of your friendly energy and your openness to meeting them, the quality and the quantity of men you are meeting will dramatically increase. Try it and you will see for yourself!

Many women are convinced that the location of where they meet a guy is very important. They have a list of places in mind where they would never want to meet a guy. Often, such rules have little reason and prevent those women from meeting more and better guys.

If I were to ask a typical woman if she meets men in bars, she would tell me that she doesn’t, as she goes out to bars to to have fun and dance with her girlfriends and she doesn’t go out to meet guys. When I ask her: “Well, what about the gym, the library, grocery store, etc…?” she is likely to tell me that she goes to the gym to work out and not meet guys, she goes to the grocery store to buy groceries and not meet guys, she goes to the library to check out books and not meet guys, etc…

This explanation never made sense to me. First of all, none of us should ever go anywhere for one sole purpose – to meet a potential dating partner. Meeting someone should be an additional, “collateral” purpose of whatever we are doing. I doubt that the above woman actually goes anywhere for just one, sole purpose – to meet guys, so her explanation of not meeting guys in all of the above places doesn’t make much sense.

More importantly, however - it doesn’t really matter where you meet a guy as it doesn’t change anything about who he is. The guy of your dreams could be anywhere at any given moment. He could be at a concert, at a grocery store, at a gas station, or anywhere else for that matter, but he is the same person no matter who he is. Admittedly, some places are more “romantic” then others for meeting your potential dating partner, and bars/clubs do have a reputation for generally attracting a crowd who is looking for a quick, short-term sexual relationship, but this is not always true. It would not make much sense to walk into a bar and assume that all guys who are in there are looking to get laid that night and are not looking for anything beyond that. That guy who you could have met at a concert the other night, might be hanging out with his friends at the same bar you came into with your girlfriends. Will it make a difference as to how he sees and treats you just because you met at a bar. Maybe so or maybe no. If one of you or both of you are really drunk, the chances of having an interesting conversation, leading to some kind of connection are low, but if you are not heavily intoxicated, your interaction shouldn’t be very different from what it would be if you met in any other place.

So, don’t place too much important on where you meet guys. Treat each situation and each interaction with a guy individually, resisting the urge to stereotype and create rules that don’t have much rational foundation.