Plenty of articles were written about the common courtesy of not answering a cellphone on a date, as it is generally considered rude and inconsiderate toward the person you are out with. However, I believe that even just checking your cellphone compulsively, whether it’s for time, or for incoming text messages or e-mails can be just as rude as answering the phone or even more inappropriate as it likely to make the person you are out with even less important than answering an actual call.
When you are out on one of your first dates with someone you like and would like to be romantically involved with, or even when you are meeting up with a friend who you haven’t seen in a while and are not likely to see soon again, it is only fair that you will give each other full and undivided attention during those few hours you spend together. Having a conversation with another person who you don’t see very often and who you are interested in maintaining some kind of connection, and taking your eyes off him/her to look at your cellphone for incoming texts or e-mails like so many people do communicates to even not so perceptive and observant people that they are not all that important to you and that your mind is elsewhere while they are talking to you, as you are probably thinking about the e-mail/text you got or about a phone call you are expecting, or you are just concerned about what time it is and are really not paying attention to your company.
Whether it’s on purpose or out of habit – it will still make the other person feel the same – insignificant. Speaking of habits, I knew someone who would look at her phone every time there was a pause in our conversation. The moment I took a few seconds to think about what I was going to say next, she would immediately look at her blackberry, scroll down through the messages and try to type something.
Unless you want the other person to feel like they are taken for granted and their presence mean very little to you, you should avoid looking at your phone unless you expect an urgent call during your meeting. The best practice is to simply turn off your phone and put it away so looking at it is not even an issue. And if you absolutely have to answer or make a call or send that text/e-mail, excuse yourself and take care of business away.
I also believe that a person who puts away his/er cellphone, turns it off for the night and focus the attention on the other person, shows a great degree of strength, confidence and control over his own life. He does not allow anything or anyone to interfere with his personal time. He is the boss of his off-work hours and of his communication with others. He respects himself and the person he is out with to give them the necessary attention and to make them feel heard and appreciated.
As a woman, you can easily distinguish yourself by not doing what so many other women do when they are out with a guy – holding their phone in their hand and constantly playing with it or looking at it. When you focus on the guy you are out with, you are making a statement of maturity, class and better time management skills than those girls who can’t live for a few hours without being “connected” to their friends.
Lets face it, most of the calls we have to make and texts/e-mails we have to respond to do not involve national security, and they can wait for a few hours, so don’t let your cellphone make you and your company feel like your face time with each other is not as important as it really is.