Chest beating or bragging is one of my personal pet peeves. Chest beating is as unattractive in men as it is in women. Usually, when someone brags about how wonderful they are and how accomplished they are makes me roll my eye. When I hear someone talk about how honest, compassionate, and spiritual they are, I automatically assume the opposite. After all, why would they feel the need to say that about themselves unless they felt that they were lacking in those departments? I am truly surprised by how many men and women are guilty of bragging and chest beating both in the on-line dating world and in “real” life.
For women, bragging is one of the biggest and most common turn-offs in guys. Men are eager to announce to the world how professional, succesful and adventurous they are. The love to talk about their new car or a killer work-out routine, and how they like to play hard and work hard. Many women, on the other hand, love to talk about how independent they are and how they can provide for themselves, how they love to have fun, how many interests they have, and how they absolutely love all kinds of food, all kinds of music, and about how much they have got to travel.
Chest beating is never attractive on a first date. In fact, it is likely to be extremely annoying to the other person. Even if you are all that, your date would much rather find out about how wonderful you are through your actions and through their interaction with you. You don’t have to all yourself smart and intelligent. If you are, and the other person cares about that side of you and they are capable to appreciating it, they will notice it themselves. You don’t have to announce on your date that you are very sarcastic. That quality is usually obvious to whoever you are out with, whether they like it or not.
If you are independent or otherwise financially accomplished, you don’t have to talk about it. Your lifestyle and the choices you make when buying just about anything will speak for themselves – for better or for worse, and will surely be more effective than pumping your chest about how good much of a catch you are.
Bear in mind that any accomplishment is more impressive when it’s accompanied by humility. That’s what’s most impressive and that’s the combination that gains you the most respect.
Success and other attractive qualities are most impressive when couple with humility. It has always been the case and will likely remain so.