Question: (January 17, 2008): My boyfriend has porn on his computer. What do I do?

Answer: I believe you make a big deal out of something you shouldn't take personally. Most guys are into porn to greater or lesser degree. That doesn't mean that the guy you are with doesn't like you, isn't attracted to you or doesn't care about you. Men are naturally driven toward sexual fantasies and variety - at least in their mind. And as long as it doesn't take over his life and is ratehr a "recreational" activity - leave it alone and don't worry about it.

Question: (January 9, 2008): I met this guy online, but when I saw his picture I realized that I am not attracted to him. How do I let him know that without hurting his feelings?

Answer: Like in many other things, honesty is the best policy. Saying something like: "Hey, you sound like a great guy, but you are just not my type... it's nothing personal and I am sorry if it comes across as rude... I am just trying to be honest" is all that's necessary.

Having said that, I have a better suggestion for you - go out with him - just once!! People look very different in their photos from real life. Besides, there might be something else about him that will attract you and override whatever you see in his pictures. As I point out in my book, women commonly fall in love with guys who they would never think of as attractive if they saw their photo before meeting them, so don't trust photos all that much. Go, meet up with ihm. You have nothing to lose. If nothing else, it will be an interesting experience. Make your meeting short and casual as any first date should be, and it will be fine regardless of whether you like him or not.

Question (December 13, 2007): The man who I have been with and who I loved wholeheartedly for over a year has left me for another woman. I see them together all the time. How can I get back at him? Answer: My answer it unequivocal - the best way to revenge that guy is by rising above this whole situation and trying to work on pursuing other things and other romantic possibilities that might be available to you. It is clear that you had a tough break-up with that guy, but why go any further and spend another second of your valuable time on him? Experience uniformly shows thyat revenge doesn't make anyone happy. At this point, the only enemy you are facing is your anger. If you put a conscious effort into overcoming it and letting it go and not allowing it to consume you and dictate your actions, if you stop paying attention to what your ex and his current dating partner are doing, and focus on your own life, then you will achieve true victory in this situation.

Question: (November 26, 2007): "My boyfriend keeps the photos of his ex wife and his children in his drawer. What should I do? I haven't told him yet that it bothers me because I am uncomfortable admitting it."

Answer: I believe it's very important that you respect his past. His ex is his history, part of his life, especially if he has children from her. The key to overcoming this issue is in making sure that you are not seeing it for more than what it is. You might consciously or unconsciously perceive those photos as a threat to your current relationship and as a symbol of his continuing interest in his former partner, but you really have no reasons to fear that in the absence of some other, more "active" evidence of his feelings for his ex. Again, learn how to respect his past, and not take it for more than what it is - his past. He enjoyed his past relationship as long as lasted just as well as you probably enjoyed your past relationships, and he probably wants to preserve the memory of those past events.

Having said that, I do believe that it's important for your to get this off your chest and share this with your partner. You don't have to make a scene out of it or a fight, but instead - come with an open heart and mind, and tell him that this bothers you but you are not sure why. If you are coming from a positive frame of mind and with desire to solve this, he might just be very helpful in your overcoming of this issue.

Question: (November 15, 2007): "I rejected him once, but now I am very interested, should I ask him out?

Answer: My answer is unequivocal - you should not hesitate to ask him out. You have nothing to lose by doing that and everything to gain. How will he take it? There is no way to know, but who cares? If you come up to him with an open heart and mind and tell him that you regret for rejecting him before and that you would like to get to know him and he is available, that guy is unlikely to hold the grudge against you. So, do it!

Question (November 6, 2007): "How Can I stop comparing myself to his ex?"

Answer: One of the "laws" that I duscuss in my audio program "20 Laws of Successful Relationships" is this: Don't Compare Yourself to His Former Partners! Why do I say that? First, the guy is with you. The past is gone, and the only reason he is with you is becuase he wants to be with you. Further, you must abandon your desire to compete with his exes. It's pointless and very harmful to your self-esteem and sense of self-respect. Remember: he is with you becuase he wants to be with you, which means that there is something about you that attracts him and makes him interested in you, and that's what counts. www.practicalhappiness.com

Question: (October 10, 2007): "Do I have the right to know about his past sexual experiences?"

Answer: As I point out in my audio program "20 Laws of Successful Relationships" it's very important that you do not ask questions that you might not be able to handle answers to. Further, it's important that you respect your boyfriend's desire to keep certian things private. Finding out the details about his sexual past will do no good to you. While it might satisfy your curiousity, it might trouble you more than do any good. So, leave his sexual past where it belongs - in the past. www.practicalhappiness.com

Question: (October 3, 2007): "He left me, is dating someone else, and I can't get over it"

Answer: It's quite normal to feel bitter under your circumstances. The battle you must fight and win is only one however - against yourself! You must move on and rise above your past and above your ex-boyfriend's current dating situation. You must stop comparing yourself to his new girlfriend realizing that every person and every guy has his own subjective set of likes, dislikes and preferences when it comes to the opposite sex which says very little about who you are! Remember, it was a choice of just one guy to date someone else, and it says nothing bad about you. What you feel will take time to get over, but with conscious effort and keeping the above points in mind, you will eliminate the feelings you have right now, and it will be a very liberating experience.

Question: (September 26, 2007): "I am afraid of dating a co-worker because of my past."

Answer: As I point out in this article It's very important that you don't become a victim of your past. You must not allow your past experiences follow you into the present and teh future and dictate your attitude toward men. Just because the previous 10 guys were disappointments doesn't mean that the man you are seeing now or will be seeing in the future will be the same. Indeed, like all other good things, men that meet your expectations are hard to find and it's quite normal. But ... that's what makes finding one all the more rewarding. Go forward, date the guy. If this doesn't create an awkwardness at your workplace or won't get you in trouble, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. If nothing else, it will be an interesting experience. www.practicalhappiness.com