I found through my observation of the behavior of many younger and older women a general pattern that repeats itself over and over – the more mature women (late 20’s and on) are generally more reliable than younger women. This should not be a surprise because there are at least three significant reasons as to why older women are more likely to generally keep their word – they are more likely to call when they say they, to show up for a date and generally be more straightforward in their interactions with a guy:
1. Older women are generally more responsible individuals. Having a greater educational and professional experience usually teaches a person a few life lessons about the importance of keeping one’s word, basic courtesy when it comes to meeting deadline and keeping appointments, and following through in general, both professionally and in social settings. This will likely translate to a similar courtesy with men. They will likely call when they say they will if they are interested, they will show up for dates without giving poor excuses for canceling and they will generally be more reliable. Also, the more mature women likely made a few mistakes in their past, which lead to missing out on professional, social and romantic opportunities and they appreciate the present opportunities more than others who haven’t yet learned those often painful lessons. A woman who remembers how she didn’t give a chance to those guys who approached her but didn’t have a perfect line to start a conversation, and how she regretted it shortly after, will likely be more open to talking to men in the future. Likewise, a woman who broke up with a guy for, what she thinks to day was not a good reason, is likely to be more forgiving and flexible with the guys who she meets today.
2. Older women are generally more “interested” when it comes to dating. While a younger woman is struggling to figure out what behavior and attitude makes her the most attractive and desirable, or what men call “playing games,” women in their early 30 and older, as a general rule, are past that stage of taking their time and trying to figure out how to act to be the most desirable to men. The more mature women often have a stronger sex drive and stronger sense of identity (and what they consider to be right v. wrong) which allows them to go for the guy they like with less hesitation or embarrassment and more determination. Older women have less hang-ups that prevent them from doing what they really want to do.
3. A younger woman believes that the entire sea of men is at her disposal and there is no reason for her to rush or to be particularly interested in any guy since there are so many of them out there. On the other hand, an older woman with a longer dating experience and a more mature outlook on life knows from first hand experience how rare the guys she really likes are. She might have dated 30 or more guys throughout her life, but she would only consider 2 or 3 out of all of them to be truly special, who gave her a memorable dating experience and who she had the potential to become serious life partners with. Therefore, she is going to treat the next special guy who comes into her life with much more courtesy and care because she knows how rare that type is and she would not want to just miss out on a connection with a special guy for no good reason. Admittedly, older women have less time – they can’t afford waiting for too long, playing hard to get, be “unavailable” and follow “The Rules.” As such, these women will be more forward and more direct in their behavior when they are interested in dating a guy.
hi, am 29 single, i fall in love with a woman she is elder then me, difference of 13 years, she also love me and me too, i have no option because she is married with and having son age as mine.. she has husband
could advice me what i do.. i really love her and she too
thanks
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Hi Sanj,
You have few options:
1. Enjoy the present situation and be happy.
2. Ask her to get divorced and get married to her if possible.
I know it's very easy for a third person to comment or give advice but you should take a situational decision. And, I can tell you one thing from my experience – marriage ruins a nice relationship. I have never seen a couple who have been in love deeply live happily after they get married.
If you don't have any parental pressure of getting married, enjoy the present.
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This is good information. I think that there are some women over 30 who are still flaky because they did not date much when they were younger and have not yet figured out how rare it is to find a man with whom they click.
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Another reason why older women are less likely to flake is because they know that they are losing their looks and are less attractive than they were when they were younger. With fewer men after them, they have to treat men better.
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Trust me, Mitch, I am a 43 year old woman with a 31 year old fiance. I am better now, body and mind, than any 22 year old. The one thin I learned most from my love is that, no matter my age or his, or love is stronger than any relationship I have had. # is a #. Will I get older? yes. Will he? yes. Am I afraid that "they know that they are losing their looks and are less attractive than they were when they were younger. With fewer men after them, they have to treat men better."
NOPE. I NEVER chased him, he chased me. It about attraction and love, not just your small stripper loving brain. You'll get it someday. I wish you the best of luck,you are going to need it
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Mitch Reply:
February 26th, 2013 at 11:09 am
You are simply rationalizing your situation. It is not normal for a 31-year-old man to settle for a 43-year-old woman if women in their 20s are available to him. I also don’t know many men who think that women in their 40s are more physically attractive than women in their 20s.
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Anonymous Reply:
March 29th, 2013 at 9:44 pm
JayCee I am a 40 year old non-traditional student who went back to college and have experienced the same thing. 20-something men chasing me. A *lot*. It’s funny the way men on the internet write as if this is not happening…or is an insult to their manhood. It is happening, and I am enjoying it thoroughly. I am dating a 21 year old. Only problem is he is still maturing so the conversation lags a bit. We are perfectly compatible sexually though (both at the peak of our sex drives). I’m having a lot of fun and I wish you the same! Don’t let the male trolls like Mitch get to ya.
Peace.
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Seriously? I am 44 and better now than I was at 20. more fit, more attractive and way more confident. My man is 18 years younger than me and he pursued me….not based on looks alone (we are both attractive) but because of my attitude and that I am up for anything and that I am totally confident in myself and my life.
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I have spent 19 years doing my best to be the best husband and father that I can be. My wife just recently told me that she wanted to move 2500 miles away to open a business, and see me when ever we can. It was a total shock. Some older women have got their heads on straight, but some do not. I am not willing to live that way because to me that is not a marriage, but the fact that she can live that way and wants to do this tells me that our marriage is dead.
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niece Reply:
November 16th, 2012 at 12:33 pm
All it says to me keith is that ur not capable of supporting her in something that seems to be of monumental importance to her. she’s not asking for divorce, she’s asking to follow her dreams. dreams she might have deferred for a life with you. if you cannot get behind her, then yes your marriage is dead. but it seems to me, you could use a little growth and maturation and open-mindedness yourself.
@Keith,
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Im 33. I mostly gets dates from guys 25 or younger. Im more confident, better looking and a better person that i was when i was in my 20s. My boyfriend is 23 and we are happy together. What more could i ask for? Im content.
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I have been married and divorced, dated a lot of men my age and older than me. I had never dated younger because I always thought it would never work. Three months ago I befriended a man that is 10 years younger than me. As our friendship grew so did our attraction for one another. Now we are dating and madly in love. We enjoy each other on so many levels that I have never experienced before. We both decided to let the relationship develop on its own with no expectations, only open communication. Now we have quickly become each other's best friends. Who knows where our love will go from here, all we know is that we are both happy on each other's arms. When we are together neither one of us remembers age or the opinions of society, nor do we care, we just enjoy being together.
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practicalhappiness.com Reply:
November 22nd, 2012 at 11:01 pm
@ Catherine – thanks for sharing your experience. It proves yet again that although there is a relationship between age and maturity, love surpasses these numbers and connects people who one would think are very unlikely to have interest in each other because of their age differences.
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I am really offended by being labelled an ''older'' woman as I am just 29!! I was always led to believe cougars were over the age of forty. In what world is someone of even thirty classed as ''older''? And Mitch losing my looks? DARLING I AM JUST BEGINNING! I have NO wrinkles, NO lines and my boobs are more perky than they ever were. How DARE anyone label me OLD! I am YOUNG, I am BEAUTIFUL and men fancy me more now than ever before.
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practicalh Reply:
December 25th, 2012 at 6:56 am
@ Helen – I don't think anyone would consider a 29 year old woman to be an "older" woman unless she is compared to somene who is still in their teens.
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