When He Sends Decent Messages Without Asking Any Questions

confused girlA female in her mid 30’s asks:

“I start chatting with this guy on a dating site. His replies seem to be well written. However, he only answers my questions but doesn’t ask me any questions. This makes our communication much more difficult. What does this mean and how I should handle it?” 

The fact that the guy you met online doesn’t ask you any questions can mean one of the several things

(a) The guy simply doesn’t possess or is not aware of the basic writing etiquette. You would be surprised how many men (and women) are totally clueless about this, even though so much has been written about the importance of asking questions. The related reason is that he is not very good at communicating in writing and doesn’t really know how to do it effectively in order to carry a conversation, even if he is interested in getting to know you.

(b) The more likely reason  – the guy puts minimal effort into online dating / communicating with women, and doesn’t care enough about you or meeting women (online) in general. Therefore, he is genuinely not that curious about who you are.

Of course a combination of both of the above reasons is also a possibility.

How to handle this type of guy?

If you like him enough and would like to get to the bottom if the issue, I would tease him and give him a hard time lightly to see what he is made of and how he would respond. For example: “I guess you don’t have any questions for me. I wonder if this means that you are simply not interested…”   He will either apologize and will assure you that he does want to get to know you, and then  you can continue your conversation. Or, he will get defensive and/or disappear, in which can you can safely to move on while being grateful that you didn’t waste too much time on talking to him.

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About practicalh

Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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