Sooner or later, an educated, professionally successful woman will come to asking herself this question – do men like strong, independent, successful, career-oriented women? Surely, men are different from each other and are unique individuals and so is their attitude toward strong, successful women. However, several, general observations about men’s attitude toward such women can be made.
The reality is that the majority of men are not confident/secure enough to be around and feel comfortable dating successful, intelligent women. You might meet a great guy who will turn bitter and jealous at your success and will feel less than you when being around you simply because you drive a nicer car than he does, live in a nicer house, and are generally accustomed to a more expensive lifestyle. Usually, guys experience that envy, bitterness and insecurity because they don’t think they have anything of value to offer to a woman that goes beyond what can be bought. These men simply don’t have anything attractive or interesting to offer to the opposite sex. But, there are also other men – the men who know that what a woman wants and needs from the opposite sex cannot be purchased. A successful, professional woman who can buy anything she needs for herself still experiences that need for male support and companionship on many levels. She is not looking to be supported financially. She is likely looking for a great, interesting, funny, confident guy with whom she has sexual and intellectual chemistry and how financial status at least allows him to take care of himself and not be a burden on her shoulders. It is only fair that a woman wouldn’t want to be in a role of taking care of a guy she is dating, and it’s just as fair to expect that a man’s pride and integrity would prevent him from being that guy who is being “taken care of” by a woman.
A quality, smart, interesting guy, who is confident and knows that what he has to offer is of great value to a great woman. He won’t be intimidated or in any way threatened by a smart woman and won’t try to control her because he knows that control suffocates relationships, while giving his partner freedom to be herself and grow only increases her desire to be close to him. A great guy with a strong self-esteem who understands women and their romantic needs on the most fundamental level is well aware of the fact that it’s not money, status or expensive toys or other items that make a man attractive to a woman, but it’s who he is as a person – his character, thoughts, goals, opinions, lifestyle and life choices that make him so desirable! That guy is not concerned about having less money than a woman in his bank account or not being able to afford the most expensive shoes or a fancy dinner to impress her. He is a guy whose character is of great value to a woman, and that woman, no matter how successful she is, knows that a man’s character has no price tag, even if it comes with a modest budget.
Having said that, I must mention that it’s very important how a woman shows her success and power. Arrogance and excessively aggressive behavior are not attractive in anyone and especially in women. A woman who tries to prove to the world and to her dating partner that she can be everything a man can and more will be naturally unattractive to even the most confident guy. A strong, confident man is drawn to the most feminine qualities and their manifestations. Thus, your behavior, mannerisms, voice and general demeanor are quite important to your being an attractive and desirable woman to the opposite sex. In other words – a typical “in-your-face” attitude that many professional women often acquire is repelling to most men, and so is complete abandonment of traditional values. Telling a guy that you are not interested in having kids or spend any time in the kitchen will hardly earn you any points with a guy who is serious about finding a romantic partner.
Most men who seem to be intimidated by a strong woman are actually only intimidate by the wrong ways that strength is demonstrated or used. Remember – you can be both smart and humble, strong and feminine, tough and lady-like, demanding respect and being sexually open, passionate, and driven. If you learn how to combine those qualities instead of sacrificing some for the sake of having others, you will be much more attractive to the opposite sex or at least to those special members of the male kind who have the capacity to appreciate it and who are worth your time, attention, energy, and emotions.
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Um, just curious, what basis are you using to draw your inferences about what “men” want? Can you cite some studies? For example, what evidence base supports your suggestion that “A strong, confident man is drawn to the most feminine qualities and their manifestations” or that “a typical ‘in-your-face’ attitude that many professional women often acquire is repelling to most men, and so is complete abandonment of traditional values.” How would you even measure any of this stuff? Just to get “in your face,” as u say. You sound like you are talking about what you like. So maybe you like submissive women to cook for you, just like White people used to like submissive Black people to cook for them. For free. :] It’s ok to let women be equals. It really is.
I couldn’t agree more. Equality is wonderful but equivalence – not so much. I can’t respond to the rest of your comment as it seems that you assume way too much based on what’s written. I never suggested that women should stay home and cook.
I would hope that there is plenty of space for middle ground between being “in your face” and being a concubine….
This article is plain wrong. YOU as the author like women who are submissive and feminine. There are plenty of progressive, secure men who are totally comfortable with a woman who is as confident and aggressive as he is. You are missing out on the pleasure of being with a strong woman – i pity you.
Hello, Nora. Thanks for your feedback. I am actually very fond of strong and confident women. I only take issue with some of the ways that some of the women show their strength. Real strength and confidence don’t have to be loud, rough, and aggressive. In fact, real confidence, as many of us know, doesn’t have to have that “in your face” flavor – it doesn’t have to be announced. Real strength doesn’t mean completely abandoning the traditional notion of femininity either, but rather embracing it and letting it compliment other aspects of being a woman.
Well I don’t like cooking and don’t want kids, and to be honest I don’t particularly want a relationship either, because I find all that sort of stuff stifling and frankly boring, it’s not for me. I am perfectly happy being myself, being “in your face” and saying and doing exactly what I want, when I want – I’m glad I don’t have to deal with the monumental moods, personality quirks and attitude of entitlement from one’s partner that seems to be part and parcel of a “relationship”.
I feel this article attempts to prey on a lot of women’s confidence by assuming that they all measure their self-worth in terms of “relationships”! It doesn’t prey on mine, because I’m out of that “sphere”, but I can imagine that a lot of women might think otherwise. I think it’s very silly.
Hi greatgirl, I agree with you. I’m single and honestly just realized I don’t want a relationship. I am good looking if I may say so, I am feminine but this has been a natural welcome progression as I ‘grow’ (I used to be a tomboy as a teenager/young college student). I get a lot of male attention but quite frankly the men I’ve are boring and not able to provide a challenging, interesting match. I’m an engineer and now doing an Msc in Eng with Business. And studying for my LSAT to go to law school, who knows I might meet someone there feisty and fun enough for me hehe. Right now I’ve got a hot German boy nuts over me, (he has a girlfriend and might leave her), however I am certainly not encouraging him at all because I will probably bore of him, which is a pity because he is so hot, but why can’t he make his life interesting? Seems he, like so many men, only enjoy watching sport, as opposed to doing anything themselves they prefer to watch it
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Oh please.
Being strong, intelligent, or wealthy isn’t what intimidates men, or women, for that matter.
The simple fact of the matter is that most people who are wealthy tend to be workaholics, snobs, aggressive, narcissistic and generally unpleasant to be around. One doesn’t become successful in the business world by being a kind, empathetic, funny person.
A man doesn’t want to date a woman whose life is consumed by her work, who isn’t particularly good at anything other than her job, who believes she is better because she earns a higher income.
If you’re chronically single, have a look in the mirror. The problem isn’t that there are “no good men.” The problem is staring right back at you.
Oh please right back and please do yourself a favor and don’t over generalize. This is just one example, but take Oprah for instance. Yes she is wealthy. In fact one of the wealthiest people in the world and the last thing she is an unpleasant narcissistic snob. Sure some unpleasant people make it on top, but for the most part it’s hard to get to the top if no one likes you. There’s good people in all income brackets. It’s not money that makes a person good or bad. Money is quite irrelevant with regards to character.