There is no reason for you to tolerate a second-class behavior from someone you think you might be interested in dating and who you find attractive. What do I mean by “second class behavior” you wonder? Flaking, not returning phone calls, canceling dates repetitively with short notice, being unavailable more often than a reasonable person would, being “busy” all the time and alike are all signs of second class behavior that you have no reason to tolerate.
Putting up with the above treatment from anyone has a double harmful effect on you: first, it hurts your self-esteem and sense of self-respect because when you accept this kind of treatment from another person, you communicate to him / her and to yourself that you don’t deserve any better and that your time and life are not valuable enough and thus can be “played” with or disregarded with ease; secondly, any dating situation or relationship in which one person treats the other with lack of basic respect is doomed. If your potential dating partners is not good about returning your phone calls and e-mails and cancels your dates over and over until the two of you eventually meet, it’s probably not going to get any better later. Whoever hopes that their partner’s inconsiderate attitude and conduct will change and improve is deceiving himself. In the vast majority of cases it doesn’t, but it even gets worse. As a person gets away with more and more, he / she will take advantage of your tolerance more and more – something that will hurt you more and more as well.
So, don’t waste your time on anyone who doesn’t reciprocate your attention. There is no reason to. Move on without hesitation and pursue relationships with those people whose sense of personal responsibility and respect for your time and life make them worthy potential romantic partners.
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What if she treats u badly online and doesnt like you to call or text. But shes nice to you in real life?
Then you should address it and ask her why she acts so differently when not in person.
So how does one address these issues diplomatically and without rudeness. Just in case there is actually a valid reason for the lack of contact for a few days? I would really like tips on what the correct thing is to say to this second class behaviour, so that you still retain your integrity? Any actual phrases would be very very helpful. Thankyou.
Great question. I think instead of attacking a person, or being overly cynical or sarcastic or otherwise starting a fight, coming out with an open heart and telling the other person how a certain lack in consistency of contact makes you feel might be a great first step. Something along the lines of “I want to share something with you… I like hearing from you and I like knowing that you are thinking about me. I am not sure why, but it bothers me when I don’t hear from you for a few days… I am not sure if it’s too much to ask, but even a small sign of communication more consistently would make me feel a whole lot better” or something along those lines.
I know a girl who acted like this towards her ex-boyfriend, and that’s why they broke up. Does that necessarily mean that she might might act the same with me? Does it usually depend on her or the partner?