Consider the following common scenario: you are at a mall or a grocery store and you see an attractive woman who you would love to approach and meet. She might even look friendly (not that common in grocery stores but it does happen). But you simple don’t know what to say. As she walks toward the cash registers and leaves, a familiar bitter feeling of regret hits you, but there is no much you can do about it.
While there is no quick solution to this obstacle to approaching women, even though some aggressively marketed dating advice books and program while try to convince you otherwise, there are a few important things you can and should do and keep in mind in order to increase your chances of having what it takes to make the move in the future:
1. Realize that what you feel is perfectly normal and common. Many guys or even most guys don’t have what it takes to approach a woman in that kind of situation for the same exact reason. They don’t know what to say, and they can’t be really blamed for that, as they really don’t have a legitimate reason to talk to that woman. If you don’t belive me, just look around at all the other guys who seem to be checking out the same woman without doing anything. How many of them have the guts to approach an talk to her without having a few drinks before? Once you stop feeling that there is something wrong with you and that’s why you can’t find the guts to approach that woman, you will be in a significantly better place to actually approach a woman.
2. Saying something, saying anything is better than saying nothing. Although I don’t agree with all of David DeAngelo’s dating advice, I do strongly agree with his very important message that one of the more serious and common mistakes guys make is thinking that they need to say something unique and special in order to start a conversation with a woman. Since most men can’t come up with something like that on the spot, the miss many opportunities. The reality is that the opposite is true. You don’t need to say anything unique and special. The purpose of your first words is to break the ice, to just get any kind of conversation going. If that woman is single and available, and is in the right mind and mood to meet a guy, and she is interested in you, she will start helping you carry on that conversation after she feels a little more comfortable talking to you.
Saying something as simple as “Is that good?” while pointing at a certain item in her basket might be one way to start a conversation. Doing it right away and not after following her for 10 minutes like a stalker is a good idea. And if you think that women don’t notice how guys follow them from isle to isle, I assure you that most of them do, even if they act like they don’t.
The other, relatively easy way to start a conversation with a woman at a grocery store is to casually compliment her on her food choices at a cash register or anywhere else where you both stand next to each other by saying something like “I very much admire your discipline. I wish my diet was half as healthy” and seeing if that will open a conversation is another way to break the ice.
However, if all else fails and if you have absolutely no material to start a relavant conversation about with a woman at a grocery store, you can say the following: “Excuse me, I don’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable here at a grocery store, but I just want to meet you.” And see how she responds. Some will be startled; others will feel very uncomfortable, but some will also feel extremely flattered regardless of whether they are single and available or not, as this doesn’t happen to any woman anywhere all that often. Regardless of the outcome, simply doing this will cause a huge injection of confidence into your mind, and it will make you feel like you broke through a serious mental barrier, and not only when you do it for the very first time, but every following time as well.
In the above situations, it is quite important to appear as a normal, clean cut guy who is relatively articulate and who can speak without embarrassment in his voice and without making it sounds like talking to her and getting her interested in you is a matter of life and death. The more casual and the more “by the way” your sound when you approach, the less pressure she will feel. After all, as difficult as it is to start a conversation with a woman at a grocery store, being in her shoes and “helping” you carry on a conversation is not exactly easy either.
Don’t expect immediate results when you start using the above tactics. Like in just about every other area of life, practice and training makes your skill of approaching and meeting women better and will make your confidence level with women higher. The nervousness will subside with practice and you ability to approach and start conversations with women will also improve gradually with the sheer number of your attempts, whether they are successful or not.