Online dating presents unique challenges for older men. Here are five simple but effective tips on how any guy who is over 40 or over 50 can significantly improve his online dating profile that you can’t afford missing:
1. Make Sure that Your Dating Profile Photos Are Current
I couldn’t count how many times I heard women complain that the guys they met online looked 10 years or more older than they looked on the photos. There is absolutely not point in posting old photos. The truth about how you look will come out the second you meet a woman in person. Seeing a disappointment on her face is as bad as being accused for misrepresenting what you look like. Make sure that your photos are not not older than 2 years.
2. Your Looks and Your Image Should Flatter You
You might not be able to make yourself look younger, but there are a lot of ways for you to optimize your look. Wear flattering clothes in your photos that add rather than take away from who you are as a person and as a guy. You should generally stay away from overly casual outfits such as hoodies, ripped t-shirts, tank tops, etc… You are better off having a more conservative, business-casual look. You cannot go wrong with a nice, relatively plain dress shirt and slacks that fit you well, with or without a jacket. A typical office photo will usually work well as your main photo.
Also, you are no longer in college… or graduate school. There is no reason why you should have a photo of you wearing a college football jersey, drinking beer at a college bar with your older buddies. You might think it makes you look young at heart, but in reality – it makes you look immature and out of touch with your life and with reality. A guy of any age sends a terrible message to the female online dating world when posting shirtless photos. When you are older, it looks even worse – not because of how you look, but because at this point of your life you are expected to know better.
3. Broaden the Age Range of Women You Are Willing to Date
If you are 55, you should be open to dating women up to their mid 40’s. Sure, everyone wants the same women – between 23 and 35, but you have to be realistic about what and who women want as well. Also, while many older women are so unattractive that you simply can’t imagine touching them, there are women out there who are as old as late 40’s and even early 50’s who are in great shape and have plenty of sex appeal, especially women of Asian and Latin ethnicity. Moreover, when you expand the age range of the women you are willing to meet in your dating profile, you will generally get a better response from younger women as well, because many of them are turned off by a guy whose age cut off is too narrow, and they can’t help but think “who the hell does he think he is?” to a guy who is only willing to date much younger women.
4. Not Being Overweight Is Even More Critical to Your Looks Now Than Ever Before
As important as being fit is for a guy of any age, being fit and not having a beer belly when you are older is even more important than when you were in your twenties and thirties. Think about Daniel Craig from the recent James Bond movies, and how attractive women think he is. Why do you think women think he is so handsome and masculine. Well, in part it’s because of his fit, chiseled physique, and his visible facial bone structure due to low body fat %. Imagine how much less attractive and masculine he would look, if he wasn’t as chiseled. If you an older man who is in shape, this places you in a very small group of men who look like they clearly have it together. It also sends a message to any woman who doesn’t want to date an older guy, thinking that he probably won’t be able to keep up with her, that she is going to have to be the one trying to keep up with you. Being fit will also make your clothes lay better on you and will likely get you noticed more by younger women.
5. Write An Interesting, Compelling Profile That Shows That You Are A Quality Guy with Wit and Charisma
The expectations from your writing style are also higher than ever before. You are more mature, and presumably you have more life experience, more work experience and more dating experience. Therefore, you should be a better, more eloquent and more compelling writer than the younger guys. Take the time to write a good profile, shows that you are a top-shelf , educated guy, who is not going to bore the hell out of a woman on a date, like so many other guys do. And if you need an inspiration on writing a great profile, check out an example of a good online dating profile to attract women as well as our dating profile examples guide.
I would like to add Confidence in this list. It is attractive to see this kind of man.
Tips
1) if you want to make life difficult for yourself, use your experience of how girls admire a man with self confidence to win them over, which will be just as tough a challenging it was when you were 20 and after some pretty girl, competing with hoards of others for their attention.
2) Take a practical approach, and go to Thailand, go around the GOGo bars, pick a girl of 19 with a perfect body, firm breasts and a cheeky smile for the night, and repeat every night, until satisfied.
3) don’t waste your time on dating sites ( Is it just me who has worked out at this website is a scam for promoting a dating site?
@Ronnie – #2 works for some guys but it leaves many others deeply unsatisfied, because while easy sex is a good temporary solution, it wont make a guy happy if he is looking for love and connection.
I don’t agree with your article. I’m been doing online dating for 2 years and am a very youthful, vivacious 57 year old and many people say I look early 50’s. If a man is 55, why not suggest he look up to at least a few years older than himself. Otherwise he could be missing the chance to meet a great, vivacious woman whom he may really connect with! I’ve seen plenty of men’s profiles with the age of women a little older than them. Your article I find rather dissapointing with your attitude about age.
@ Kate – I would love to suggest this but its simply unrealistic. Very few women have any sex appeal to a guy of any age after 50 and surely by 60. That’s not me but nature that dictates this.
@Kate – Your comment is interesting. You say you’ve been on-line dating for 2 years? Does that not tell you that these sites aren’t working for you? I’m in my 40’s and my (now) husband is 8 years my senior. We did not meet on-line, or in a bar, or texting, etc. We met the old fashioned way. There was nothing superficial about us. What you see is who I am. You’ll find your someone special the way it was intended.
@Carol
And which old fashioned way are you referring to?
It appears that the world is changing in so many ways that meeting someone not on line is harder than ever before.
That is my point. In my observations, the younger generation has not a clue on how to meet/date effectively (this has been MY observation for the majority). They either have their faces buried in their iphone or computer screen, or think drinking alcohol will attract them to someone. Meeting someone the old fashioned way, to me, is to see/meet them in the real world. You may have heard the term – when you least expect it…
Yes, Carol. This “real way” meeting seems to be a vestige of the past now. It appears that people don’t even hope to meet that way any more. Dropping a can at a grocery store and having someone you find attractive pick it up for you should not be an unattainable fantasy, and yet today, because of the factors you mention and a few other things, this seems less likely than ever before.
that’s a good point. Restricting the age is not a good idea, as you may be attracted to someone older or younger than you ever thought you would or could be for their other qualities.