How to Overcome a Painful Break-up

breaking up tipsIt goes without saying that breaking up with someone you love is not easy. And the more you like someone the more painful it will be when you have to stop seeing someone who you really like and care about, and if your to be ex-partner s the kind of person you think you are not going to meet any time soon because there aren’t just many individuals out there, who will be that special to you. Losing a loved one inevitably breaks one’s heart and learning how to heal that broken heart is very important to our emotional health and to our ability to return to enjoying dating life promptly.

Indeed, we often have no choice but never see each other again, and therefore it’s worth knowing how to get over those break ups and continue moving forward with our lives with the right mindset, and not continuing drowning ourselves in self-pity or indulging in any kind of self destructive post-break-up behavior for too long after.

Here are the steps you can and you should take in order to get over any break-up quicker and in a more healthy manner:

1. Avoid harboring hope that you and your ex-partner will get back together sometimes in the future. This is the crucial time when you must demonstrate strength and reluctance in letting those thoughts get into your head. The longer you hope that you will get back together, the slower and the the harder your recover from break-up will be. Being strong now will most certainly pay off in the future.

2. Stop reminiscing on the wonderful times that you and your ex had while you were together. Such wonderful memories are great to have, and you should be thankful that you had those intense experiences and feelings. However, at this time, right after breaking up, these thoughts do nothing good to you and only aggravate your pain and prolong your recovery by making you feel that you sustained a major loss, and that your life is never going to be the same.

3. Stop thinking that your ex was one of a kind person. No matter how special he/she was, you own future dating life will show that your next love will be also very special in his/her own, unique way – this is just the reality of how love works. Your next lover will be different from the one you lost, but he will be special to you in his own way.

4. Realize and truly believe that whatever happens, happens for a reason and for your own best. This includes break-ups. Think about it – every time you have to throw away a great pair of old, worn-out shoes that felt more comfortable than any other shoes you have ever had, your next pair of shoes is often even more comfortable. Most people who lose a job eventually find a better one. This is a far reaching analogy, but the same applies to relationships. If you were taken out of your recent relationship by some great force, perhaps that force is trying to take you out of that relationship and put you back into the market, so that you start looking for and eventually find a partner who is even better for you and more compatible with you on all levels.

5. Perceive your recent break-up as a great opportunity to learn how to deal with such experiences and become a stronger and a more mature individual. Like any other challenging experience that pushes your emotional levels (such as employment termination, loss of a loved one to a terminal illness, etc…) breaking up and losing love today will “condition” you and will make your recovery from similar experiences in the future easier.

6. Do not perceive a relationship as an investment and your lost relationship as a waste of time just because you ended up breaking-up. Be grateful! Be grateful for having been granted the joy of love and affection of your former partner as long as your relationship lasted and don’t forget that some things are probably just not meant to last. There is no insurance against breaking up whether you have been together for one month or for 20 years. Just look around you. I surely don’t need to tell you how high the divorce rate is. Some people perceive it as a very negative by-product of the modern, western culture, but I would like to suggest to you that it is quite normal and even natural. Most people simply do not belong with each other in a romantic relationship. Most relationships end, most people who are dating, are bound to break up. There is nothing wrong with it – it’s an inevitable selection process and we all participate in it. Accepting it as a natural part of dating life is very important and can be quite effective in helping you overcome a painful break-up.

7. If you believe that you made certain mistakes in your recent relationship, whether they were the ones that caused the break-up or not, make sure you learn from those mistakes and move forward as a person who possesses a better understanding of himself and his interactions with romantic partners, and make sure that you don’t make the same mistakes in the future.

8. Lastly, continue living! Pursue your professional and social goals and don’t leave much space for boredom in your life. This is not the right time to “relax.” You will have plenty of time to relax once you are over your ex and perhaps once you met someone new.

Breaking up is a hard and demoralizing experience that can take  a lot of life motivation out of a person. However, it can be at least in some ways a positive experience if you allow it to be. It can make you grow and become a stronger and a more attractive person. Make sure you take advantage of those valuable life lessons!

Further, it is important that you remember that the pain of breaking up is an emotion, and as such, it will not go away overnight. It will take time for your feelings to go away. But with conscious effort of keeping in mind the above points, you can make the process of overcoming and recovering from the break-up much faster and easier.

And to make your break up easier, make sure you read our tips on making your break-up easier.

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  • Missy Anderson Lopez

    Hello folks, my life is back again, what else can i say I am bless. smiles, I thought I had lost everything. i cry all day and think that he will never come back to me again. i read so many testimony about Dr odoma the spell caster, how he bring back there ex lover back. I quickly email him. and also get back my husband to be with his wonderful spell, And when I was at my most desperate, he didn’t take advantage of me. You performed a very good service for a person in true need. I don’t know how you did it, or how this magic works, but all I know is, IT WORKS!! Frank my husband to be and I are happily back together, and I’ll always be grateful to Dr odoma, you can email him for any kinds of help is very capable and reliable for help. here is the Email (odomaspelltemple@outlook.com) all thanks to dr Odoma for making me who i am today and the wonderful joy inside of me. smiles..

  • Leliah Bills

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  • Hollim Frankly

    BEST AND GENUINE SPELL CASTER ONLINE TO HELP SAVE BROKEN MARRIAGE AND BROKEN RELATIONSHIP
    I live in London, and I’m happily married with a lovely wife and three children. I had a very big problem with my wife few months ago, to the extent that she left the house with our kids to her parents’ for almost 5 months. All efforts to bring them back proved abortive. Friends and Family were all in concern and my very close mate gave me an advice concerning a spell caster, and he quote; “There’s someone who can handle your situation, he’s always ready and able to do anything related to spiritual matters, I searched for a spell caster on the internet, his advert was everywhere, Although I never believed in spell casting, but he convinced me and I had
    no choice than to follow his advice, because I never dream of losing my lovely wife and I was desperate. So I did all what he told me to do and i did. He told me that I’ll get my wife back in two days after the spell is completed. I was skeptical. He casted the spell for me and i was so anxious waiting to see or hear from her, until
    the second day when my wife called and said she was coming HOME…..It was like a joke to me!!! That’s how I got my family back through spiritual means and our relationship is now stronger than ever. One of the price I was asked to pay was to tell it to people around me that problems like this, can always be solved by Dr GOSSY. And this is his email drgossysolutioncenter@gmail.com concern if you wish to contact him and solve your problem too , my advice to you out there is to visit this great DR GOSSY and tell him your problems. He’s capable of handling anything spiritual and spell casting. Thanks a lot for saving my marriage.

    GOOD LUCK.

  • Mark S

    Can I suggest trying a new app called ExTexter? It allows you virtually text your ex and get the closure we all desire. You can vent, blame, express how much you miss them or whatever you are feeling and get a real response! Pretty cool. Android version is out Apple version is on the way soon!

  • JOHN

    I lost my husband to another woman 3 years ago after 4 years of marriage . We had a lovely hard to cope . I wished I did not loved him and that I could move on but I couldn’t . I never knew how to stop feeling like bad. I degraded myself begging him to come home all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the internet one day, I came across a comment by katty white that suggested that Dr. satur helped her solve her marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he did a spell for me. 3 days later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my family are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr. satur. If you need a spell caster that can cast a spell that truly works, I suggest you contact him. He will not disappoint you. if you have any problem contact him, I give you 100% guarantee that he will help you, This are his details E-mail: dreemakalovespell@gmail.com or dreemakalovespell@gmail.com
    Thank you all for reading.marriage but he started a relationship with a co worker who chased after him . He is living away near his work and he refused to talk to me or to come home . I was so devastated and found it

  • Stacey Bruno

    Am Stacey Bruno from USA, How i got my husband back,I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once when i went to see my friend in Indian this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is Dr ATILA he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 5 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to USA, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better.

    How you can also contact him below is the information.
    Email: atilahealinghome@yahoo.com
    WHATS-APP NUMBER: +2347067607073.

    Best Regards

    Miss Stacey Bruno.
    .

  • Rose Handson

    I was very confuse when my husband that i married 11 years ago told me he needs a divorce simply because he fell in love with a lady she met in the bank, she took all her belongings and left my house even when i plead with him not to go but he insisted and left. It wasn’t easy at all for me because i was in pain and couldn’t go to work or even eat, i did many research on the internet when i came across some beautiful testimony people shared about Doctor Ekpiku so i quickly contacted him and told him my story, I never knew Doctor Ekpiku could be so nice, he told me that my husband will come back to me within 24 hours and every thing happened just as he said and then i concluded that i have found a God on Earth and i will continues to testify about him till Christ comes.u can contact him if u need any help: [Ekpikuspelltemple@live.com] thank u so much dr,Ekpiku.

  • pecky nell

    My
    appreciation goes to the great spell caster who has brought back my
    husband. It all happened when i came across different testimonies and
    appreciations share about this man called Dr Malik here on the internet
    on how he did cast spells to reunite broken relationships,winning lotto
    for different people across the globe .then i decided to collect is
    contact for me to reach out to him,because i was also encountering some
    problems with my man and this has torn our relationship apart. so I did
    that with reluctance and i got a positive result which was just all like
    a magic to me,that i saw my husband calling my cell phone again for the
    first time in 2years asking for us to have a date and sort out
    things.now as i speak we are happier than ever before.That is why i am
    also taking to internet to share with the whole world my testimony and
    also to publish about the good works of the great man who the LORD we
    serve has used to turn my situation all around. and also to those with
    similar problems on broken relationship,winning lotto,delay child
    birth,and delay job promotion to get him contacted on
    Drmalikspelltemple@yahoo.com or via cell number (+2348168660247)

  • kumar

    Hi i am kumar, my 3 years girlfriend just broke up with me. she said she want to move on. because she want to be rich. i did many mistakes these 3 years she forgive and we together but last 1 and half year she busy alot only met 6 times for 5 minutes. but i love her. i cant control my emotion. what should i do to get over this pain. i also want to move on but might be memories stopping me. because its too intimate, caring and loving memory.
    please help me out, pls advice
    my email add. kumaryadavchina@gmail.com

  • Well said, Mark. Although often easier said than done.

  • Mark Kuo

    Yes sir (or m’am), let’s not let the previous special moments with that special someone bleed into the next person, because that’s not fair to her/him or yourself.

    Side note: if you must hang onto some kind of hope, know that nothing is permanent. Fix yourself so that you two may have a better chance if (a big IF because it’s usually frowned upon to hope during this stage of healing) a connection is made down the line.

  • Great points, especially number 5. If you broke up with someone who you thought was one of a kind and very special, chances are that it was probably true. The next person in your life might also be special, but in a different way. It won’t take away from how you felt about the person you broke up with. And resurrecting comments is perfectly fine and welcome. 🙂

  • Mark Kuo

    Not to resurrect the comment section, but I thought I’d share my process:

    1. Talk about it. Seriously, guys and girls. This is such a vital process that will help you either realize an epiphany or relieve your stress. If your friend or whomever you’re talking to knows the backgrounds of your situation, he/she will likely give you supportive advice instead of “you should do this to your ex”. With that being said, choose your listeners carefully…

    2. Cry. Ya you sissy! Just kidding. I cried my face off in bed and in car (such a weird thing to do while trying to change lane), and that basically poured out all of my emotions that were bottled up for a few weeks prior to the final goodbye (so cheesy, but it helped me). Find a time of the day (right before sleeping is preferred) and just cry the hell out. Your body needs it, you need it, gosh, the world needs it.

    3. Time. Do not rush this. You want to actively work on short-term goals so you can achieve the endgame (which is to move on gracefully), but you do not need to set a clock on this healing process. Everyone grieves and deals differently, so don’t worry about the time. You just make sure you ARE moving forward, though.

    4. Keeping yourself busy/relaxing/restoring your balance. Find friends, go rage (within reasons), chill out, go to places, eat out, finish 5 seasons of “Scrubs” in one weekend, mow the lawn, walk the dogs, play some bball at your local gym…whatever it is, go do. Do not spend time alone excessively at home with brooding thoughts. You do need to learn how to be alone again in place where the ex was very…present at, but sticking around other than trying to heal is not a good reason to stay home.

    5. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t like healing with the goal that “after healing, you will find a MUCH better partner”. More often than not, that objective turns into a vengeful slice against your ex because you may find yourself comparing the next partner to your ex-partner. Move forward with a general goal that your life is going to be better, whether in love or not, but don’t rely on the belief that you WILL find someone else. I don’t think that’s entirely therapeutic when you have to believe in love to find love. Perhaps I misread the concept, but I like the “will be happy on my own later on” concept working better for me.

    I’m still recovering from the loss (the girl was one of the best lover/friend/sexy time partner I’ve ever had), but so far these are what I’ve realized so far.

    Oh and lastly, #1 and #3 are crucial. DO NOT EXPECT and DO NOT WORSHIP.

  • Danielle Hudson.

    THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPEN TO ME, MY LOVER IS FINALLY BACK TO MY LIFE AFTER A LONG BREAK UP. I HAVE BEEN MEETING THE WRONG SPELL CASTERS UNTIL I WAS DIRECTED TO THIS GREAT MAN CALLED Dr Dros . HE IS A VERY SIMPLE AND KIND MAN. HE ASSURED ME OF MY LOVER COMING BACK TO ME WITHIN 3 DAYS, I DOUBTED HIM BECAUSE SO MANY FAKE SPELL CASTERS ALSO GIVE SUCH HOPE. TO MY GREATEST SURPRISE, I GAVE HIM A TRY TO CAST A SPELL FOR ME, MY LOVER CAME BACK TO ME IN LESS THAN 48HOURS WHICH HE PROMISED ME. I WANT TO THANK Dr Dros FOR RESTORING MY LOVE LIFE AND ALSO TO ADVICE EVERYONE SEEKING THE HELP OF A SPELL CASTER TO QUICKLY CONTACT HIM VIA HIS EMAIL Drossuva@yahoo.com ……

  • susaan

    This comment i Susan is placing is not like the day by day advert you read online before!! Its a comment that you must read to avoid been ripped off and know the real spell caster on earth God sent to change and turn lives around without any harm / side effect.
    I am so over joyful as my month can not start to say all that really happened, It happened when i saw Ajayi advert online talking about been the best when there are so many spell casters online that i have used that has failed me.I spent almost close to $8000 dollars online for those spell casters that ripped me off my money without any result. But when i saw Dr Ajayi advert online saying that there is no spell caster like him and so many other testimonies about him from various people and from various countries in the world were it was written that ololo spell temple is the best that there is non to be compared to his work, Already i have personally take a decision never to apply to any spell caster online again after loosing such amount of funds on line to those scammers.But i don’t really know what drew my spirit / attention to that advert online that faithful afternoon, { I call it a faithful afternoon because all i desire was granted to me. } There was an email at the end of his advert and on the good comment from the FBI and various people about him, I decided to send him an email telling him my problem about my lost job, money that i have lost to scammers and also having problems with the love of my life that i want to get married to. After some few minutes i received an email from him that contain the spell application form that i filled out and he told me that to get my spell casted that i will have to get some items that i could not get here when i went in-search for it. He said if i can not get the items, That is going to cost me an amount of just $390 dollars for my kind of case that i told him about which i doubted to be another scam online, As i have read so many tips online that money should not be sent to someone you do not know via western union / money gram payment information’s. And Dr Ajayi insisted that i will be sending money to his messenger via this wire means. I was so skeptical because i was scammed in such a way of $700 dollars before,But this same spirits that attracted me to his advert told me inside again that this spell caster is real and noting but real that i should go ahead and send him the amount since i know that there is no how i can get the items that he told me that will be needed for my case. I sent him the charges through his messenger to please help me get the item with the money to get my spell casted.He promised me that in the next 5 to 7 hours that i will start to see results after the spell has been casted to get the love of my life back and others. I could not believe this because i have really been scammed and ripped off too many times for me to just believe till it works. To be sincere i almost faint as i was filled with so much excitement and happiness when my lost lover for over almost 9 months call was entering my phone and i picked the call were he ask if we can see to take things over and also my boss called me to tell me to come for training on my terminated job also due to too many thinking that in the office that result to it. Then in the next 2 days the FBI called to tell me that they have been able to get the scammer that is with my money. I am so proud and happy to spread the good-news about this man because he surprised me in his wonderful and powerfully work that restored back to me my heart desires. One thing that i also loved about this man is that he is understandable and he reduce or negotiate how much you can get for the work you want him to help you with. You want to meet with this great,most powerful spell caster that is 100% scam free,Just send your emails to this email: ajayiololo‘ at ‘ ‘ yahoo ‘ ‘ dot ‘ ‘ com ~~~ as you will get help from him without any disappointment. Correct to the normal way email address are written

  • Christian montalvo

    Heal*

  • Christian montalvo

    Great, great reading my friend. With practice I know I will heel

  • Mickey

    Hey…can you peddle your crooked s**t to some other site and leave us the hell alone PLEASE??? And learn some f**king English!!!

  • Aaisha

    It’s not just ezy to move on. .ol uh need is smtym n things wud gt btr

  • Everyone, thank you for sharing your hurtful experiences here. Describing and sharing is the first term to come to terms with all the pain caused by your break ups.
    Don’t give up. Life is beautiful and will go on after your breakups. You now need to stay strong and identify and accept the problems in those past relationships. Learn from the past, prepare for the future.

  • Leslie Terri Em

    LOTTO SPELLS & MONEY VOODOO SPELLS CONTACT DR OKUNTA

    Hello my name is Leslie Terri Em i am here to testify on how Dr Okunta help me to win the Lottery. Are you looking for a jackpot win on either a scratch off ticket or the little lottery contact Dr Okunta today, all your pains will be over okay, Dr Okunta is here to help you out okay? This spell can be directed at either type of lottery game in your area to produce a one time jackpot win. When you do not have the financial freedom to do as you wish, life can take a toll on you and your family.

    Money Voodoo spell can help increase finance in many ways. We can help with business spells, lottery spells, getting people to pay you back and gambling spells. Better Odds Gambling Spell. Do you go to the casinos and gamble frequently? This spell will increase the odds of your natural win when you go to gamble. You will frequent win. Prosperity Spell. Are you looking for an increased income? This spell will help you in all aspects of your life financially. Whether it be getting a salary increase, better luck or more business coming your way, this spell will help get it done right the first time. For more Info Contact DR Okunta at his Email; okuntalululovehelp@gmail.com or contact him with his private number +2348071420872. For all your problems and pains will be solve one time..

  • James, I am not sure I understand your question and what you are referring to as far as what to do. It sounds like you have made up your mind and you want to break up and move on.

  • james a

    james•11 minutes ago

    I just told my girlfriend of 5 years that we need a break. we have lived together now for 3 yrs. she moved from new york to wyoming for me. away from her family. Alot has changed since then. We dont communicate with each other, even after all attempts. I almost feel like im not equal to her because she trys to prove that her way is always right. What should i do.

  • Thank you for your kind words and I am glad that your actual experience confirms what’s in the article. This should make it all the more useful to many other people who find themselves in the same emotionally challenging situation.

  • Dirk Lenart

    My wife broke up with me after being together for 31 years. Yet, 8 weeks after the announcement I can say that what’s being said above is so very very true. For instance the remark that instead of being sad and angry, you should be happy that you lived so many years together. It helps to make that mental jump.
    And you learn indeed a lot about yourself and eventually you confess to yourself that there was indeed something wrong. And that is a relief.
    it made me a stronger and better person, and I will start a new and better life. With a partner that fits better to my personality and needs. Instead of hanging on to someone who no longer fits my needs.
    Thank you for the wise words. It is indeed very good advice.

  • It’s hard for me to advise since you are in a very different cultural background. If he cannot insist on what he wants over his parents wishes, this will be painful indeed, but you will have to work toward getting over it. It won’t be easy and it will take time, but you must do it. You must remember that there are never any guarantees in life. Some people break up after a few months, while others divorce after being married for 10, 15, or 20 years. That’s just the reality of life. It’s not a bad thing or a good thing – it just is.

  • S A

    Hello,

    The things are really painful after a break up. I was in a relationship with a guy since 7 years. These years flew by donno how. We were happy, contended even though it was a long distance relation. Then came the time of giving a name to our relation. As i was pressurized by my parents to get married, i spoke abt him(love marriages are not accepted till date). But to my delight, my dad took the things very positively and immediately agreed to my choice:) he just said me that let him talk at his home. Months passed by but he didnt said abt our relationship at home. But 1 day he gathered guts and said. But his parents disagreed abt bringing a girl frm other caste into their lives!!!!! We have already decided that wewould marry with our parents wishes. But considering the conditions now, he said that we cannot marry as his parents are not ready. I was really devastated. My world came to a standstill. How can we forget the years we spent together???
    Its getting really tough

  • Lydia laures

    I am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex love back. I was going crazy when my love left me for another girl last month, But when I meet a friend that introduce me to DR Olawole the great messenger to the whole world who God has given him the grace to help people in their relationships, I narrated my problem to DR Olawole about how my ex love left me and also how I needed to get a job in a very big company. He only said to me that i have come to the right place were I will be getting my heart desire without any side effect. He told me what i need to do, After it was been done, In the next 2 days, My love called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness, I was called for an interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the managing director.. I am so happy and overwhelmed that I have to tell this to the entire world to contact DR Olawole at the following email address and get all your problem solve.. No problem is too big for him to solve. Contact him direct on: ugbeninspellsolutiontemple@gmail.com And get your problems solve like me….. ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: ugbeninspellsolutiontemple@gmail.comII will not stop sharing his name because he done a very great job for me now my mind is full of happiness

  • Lydia laures

    I am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex love back. I was going crazy when my love left me for another girl last month, But when I meet a friend that introduce me to DR Olawole the great messenger to the whole world who God has given him the grace to help people in their relationships, I narrated my problem to DR Olawole about how my ex love left me and also how I needed to get a job in a very big company. He only said to me that i have come to the right place were I will be getting my heart desire without any side effect. He told me what i need to do, After it was been done, In the next 2 days, My love called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness, I was called for an interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the managing director.. I am so happy and overwhelmed that I have to tell this to the entire world to contact DR Olawole at the following email address and get all your problem solve.. No problem is too big for him to solve. Contact him direct on: ugbeninspellsolutiontemple@gmail.com And get your problems solve like me….. ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: ugbeninspellsolutiontemple@gmail.comII will not stop sharing his name because he done a very great job for me now my mind is full of happiness

  • RoshanD

    Yee truee, but i dont want ask her straight up cause she will get mad and all. Like at the same time i am giving her space and bring really patient about this. She has starting to text me and all but it feels different.

  • Thanks for the update. Well, use your best judgment and just make sure you are not being played and you don't get hurt by her being confused about what and who she wants.

  • RoshanD

    Okay i see. I give her some space and she been texting here and there i see her too its because we both go to college together. Our convo is not tht bad. I know i cant be worried and all abt her guy bestfriend but this guy is been putting work and her b day is coming up, and guy has given her gifts and all. Also theses two dated before, but l feel like it wasnt too serious cuz she doesnt know exactly when they started dating. She told me this when we were together and i asked her how u guys broke up she said i dont know. They been dating for 6 months. I feel like shes giving hope to this guy.

  • There is nothing really you can do except give her time and perhaps not do anything to violate her trust again. A mistake would be to be pushy or be begging to spend more time with her. Give her space, whether it's few days or a few weeks.

    And if there is another guy who wants her, she will have to decide who she wants and you simply can't worry about that.

  • RoshanD

    Oh i see i understand that. But what should i do to get her back, i mean we not officaily broke up. The thing is i really dont know how to get her trust back, cause she said once i get her trust she will be back with me. Another thing is her guy bestfriend loves her too. Since she single now she might move on from me and might go out with her bestfriend. I dont like seeing that happen. Shes been chilling wit him alot lately

  • Thanks for sharing your experience. The article pretty much sums up what you need to do. Trying to convince her to want to be with you if she doesn't isn't something you should be doing however. You can't bring someone back by trying to talk them into it with any logic or rational reasoning. In fact, the harder you try the less likely it is to happen.

  • RoshanD

    My girl and I are on a break. We have been dating for 3 months but technically the last two weeks of the 3 months was on and off The reason being is that she doesn't trust me because i followed a random girl on instagram but she followed me first but i showed the pics of the random girl and she didnt say anything that time. One week after she found out i followed this girl and she got emotional and heartbroken. She thought i was cheating on her. My girl has rough past experience of been cheated on and been used. I am her sixth guy she been dating. All of her ex has cheated on her and she was really hurt. But I told her it wasn't intentional to hurt her like that but she didnt really believe me. I right away unfollowed the girl. After incident happen she wanted to break up with me but I apologize to her many times and i cried front of her saying I want you back and all. She some what gave me a chance, but ever since the incident happen it hasnt been the same. She straight up told me that its not gonna be the same and she doesn't trust me. After the incident its been on and off we text normally and talk normal. then all of a sudden she started giving one word texts, our phone convo were awkward. I asked her whats wrong she said my love towards you isnt big anymore and she told me that she was fake loving me and she did this twice after the incident happened. Now she told me she wants a break cause shes too hurt and wants to think and she said that if you dont understand how i feel then i cant do anything.She also said i always messing up every since the incident happen but shes not telling me exact. Our communication is weak. I kept on telling her we can work it out and all but she didn't allow it much. She said straight up to me saying i dont trust or love you and i am unhappy with you.This really took it to my heart really hard. My girl was really obsessed with me she loved me soo much she asked me out and we got hooked up within two weeks and she promised me she wont leave me and all and i promised her that too. I asked her "you lost all love me after the incident" and she said "yeah i did i am not obsessed with you anymore its just i like you now". I asked her if i can get that love back she said maybe>.I really love this girl with all my heart and right now i am soo much pain. I haven't sleep properly eat properly i feel weak and alone, and i been crying ever since we were on a break. its a week and half now. She said wants to be single for a bit and she also said once i trust you i will get back with you and that gave me hope. but right now i don't know how to get her trust back cause i never was hiding anything from her and i have been honest with her. . I need help from you guys cause i am really hurt right now and i feel like i have no hope.cause she started talking to her first ex and she started flirting with one guy and she gave her number to him too. Ever since the break i have been texting here and there but she gives me one word texts I honestly don't know what to do.. Her friends told me to give her space and time but its soo difficult cause i feel like she would lose interest on me but i trying to do. Her friends told me don't worry things will work out, but yet i still feel like it wont. Right now i am really sacred that shes gonna find a better man or sleep with one. Please help me guys i am so heartbroken and i really want her back soo bad. I am soo attached to her. I cant stop thinking of her.i don't want to lose her. i want work things out here. I am really sorry i wrote to much, i tried to sum up what going on and how i feel sorry once again i just really need help !. Shes has alot of guy friends and she ahs a guy bestfriend. but i stilll trust her cause she tells me if any guys are hitting on her. I also wrote a long ass face book msg to her how i feel about her and how i dont want to lose her. its longer than this. I send it to her and she just seen it. Its soo hard to make her understand and she said she changed that shes not old self where guys step on her and play around. By the way her birthday is on August 14 and i really dont know what get for her cause i dont want to be awkward and all. I need your guys help please and thank you !

  • Harmand Amadeus

    My Name is Harmand Amadeus from California. I am here to give testimony on how got my wife back. My wife left me for no reason 3 years ago. She moved out with another man, i felt like killing myself, my life became very bitter and sorrowful. Then 1 day, a friend of mine told me about a great spell caster that is very good and does not even charge for his services, he said he gave him some lucky numbers that he played in a lottery and he won. I didn't believe it because I've worked with so many of them and it didn't work. He begged me further so i decided to try this great spell caster called DR. OTIAGBE and i contacted him via his email: {Otiagbe@yahoo.com}. I still didn't believe. I used the spell he gave me and the next day i received a call from my darling wife called Rugina last month. She apologized and came back to me. I'm very happy now. Thank you DR. OTIAGBE, You can reach him via email: {Otiagbe@yahoo.com}

  • divya

    Hi ..

    I am here to jus share this grief of mine..

    I fell for this guy in the process of getting over my first breakup.

    I was so lost and divastated and this guy he took advantage of all these feelings..

    Eventually i realised he never loved me he jus wanted my body.Coz once i was under his control he started looking for other girls.

    wen i questioned him he says he never gave me any commitment and it was my mistake to expect it. i accepeted all this nad tried to move on wen he brokeup with his girlfriend and came back to me

    As i always loved him my heart just thought he loved me so he came back to me. He was with me for a yaer and now he is dating another girl and is in plans of giving her commitment.

    N i am finding it very difficlut to accept it. I don want this to happen again. coz wen he ditched me for the first time i was strong enough to accpet it but now i got more attached to him and i donnot hav guts tp accept it.

    I always believed in love would win love. But no itz not right.

    I am lost n all lone drinched in pain nad he is there living is life to the fullest.

    If god did this for a reason i wan to know wat reason it cud be..coz i don see a point in all this.

    He loves me but he cant marry me coz i hav a dusky skin.

    Is this what love is all about.

  • Thanks for sharing your story. Clearly, the girl is not as interested in you as you are in her. There is nothing you can do to change it. Your strong feelings are not being reciprocated. You cannot force her to feel something she is not, so you must move on with your life and leave her alone. As hard as this might sound for you to do, there is no other way to handle it.

    For future reference, asking a girl to close their Facebook account might be too much, and many would not appreciate such an extreme restriction. You should be able to clear whether she wants to be with or to talk to other without the necessity of taking her access to Facebook away altogether.

  • ACHINTA

    HELLO. I am Achinta. Recently I got break up from my lover. Actually I made break up.

    We had 2 years love relation. She is in 2nd year of Degree in commerce at college. In the beginning she always think about me and my feelings. Whenever I told her to meet with me, she ran for me to meet. But after 1 year she became changed and she made distance from me which is very hurtful to me. I love her a lot. I can not live a single second without her. I love her till now. But I could not continue the relation for her behavior which is changed by time.

    We have never done sex. I approached her after 1 & half year for it but she refused. . I didn't mind. I have tried to adjust on that matter. I just want to be close to her and to take close to me also. . Only a hug is enough for me for a day.

    The main thing is she had a FB account where she had a lot of boyfriends & girlfriends.She talked very much with boys late night. Thats for I told her to close FB for our good relation where no one could not interfere. Then she promised me and close the FB account. But without my knowledge in this year I saw a day that she again open FB and chat late night with boys which was very much hurt me. She break the promise.

    I think promise is the way where Two persons believe them a without thinking any type of misunderstanding.

    Whatever, I tried to hide the matter of FB and didn't want to tell her. I just requested to meet with me for a day. But she refused. and told that she didnt feel love with me then and didnt want to meet also.

    I am shocked then. . I never think of any other girl in my dream without her. She was always with me. and whatever I am angry or loving in all thing she was present all time. I never told her that I hate her.

    I wish to marry her. That's for I met her with my mom & dad. My parents also loved her and agreed my relation. . Thats for I told her to talk with her mom & dad about me & our relation. I also want to do court marriage if their parents agreed or not. . She is now telling that she cant talk with her parents and she want to complete her graduation degree. After that she can tell. . . But presently I feel that she was dominating me…

    She never think about me and my feelings. Presently I am thinking that she cheated me and played with me and my feelings. . . I am very soft hearted. I cannot forget her. I love her. What I can do now. . ? Plzzzz help me and show the way to overcome from this relation and my feelings. . .

  • Steven

    Hi Marc. I found exaholics.com very helpful. You may want to check it out.

  • kattie

    Hi everyone,I have just read all of the posts and I am in tears! My life for the past 10 yrs has been,I don't know how to put it, I guess lonely and loveless. I'm 26 I ve been with my fiance for 10 yrs and we have 2 sons. Our oldest 7 has AS too and my youngest 3 has autism. I feel so lonely in my family, none of them understand me at all and don't try. I feel like i ve lost myself. I is much harder to deal with my Fiance then my kids of course, because I shouldn't have to parent him. I don't want to parent 3 people, I want love. He doesn't even feel love I don't think! I'm very sad thinking that I am putting my self in this position, to never put myself 1st or get anything I need or want it life. My family nor his gets it and they say that because he works and takes care of his family with money I should be happy enough. I wish there were groups where iI live but I haven't found and yet. I'm very happy to find other people out there dealing with this, because living life like this is very lonely. I would love to start talking with some of you,all things happen because great zalilu was very great to me,after he help me getting back my man every thing have be working fine.Please you can contact he for help so you can be happy in your relationship.Email him at;greatzalilu@gmail.com

  • Edwin

    I have a testimony to share with you only if you are willing to listen to me, My name is Williams Edwin from London. I have been having problems in some aspect of my life which almost led me to commit suicide, several time I applied for jobs and each time I was turn down, it come to a point that my Wife left me for another Man and this made me to have high blood pressure (B.P). One day as I was looking for job online in the internet I came across a testimony of a woman how a great spell caster called VOODOO help her with his spell to solve her problems so I decided to contact the Spell caster (Voodoo) by mail. I narrated all my story to him and the only thing he told me was don't worry because your problems are solve already. for you have made the right choice of contacting me. I filled his form and provide the item he requested from me for the preparation of the spell to get me a good job, bring my ex back and also to heal my high blood pressure (B.P) and today my brothers and sisters that are reading this I am very glad to say that Voodoo is a God on earth. I have a good Job now, My wife is back and I am healed of my High Blood Pressure (B.P). Do you have problems and you think all hope is gone, I advise you to contact VOODOO today and your problem will be solve just as he solve mine ok. Voodoo email is: voodoolovespelltemple@hotmail. com. this african temple is genuine I swear. WOW AM ON TOP YOU CAN BE TOO.INSTEAD OF FALLING FOR THOSE SCAMS THAT CALL THEIR SELF SPELL CASTERS, VOODOO YOU I WILL CONTINUE TO THANK YOUR TEMPLE.

  • Edwin

    Hello to every one out here, am here to share the unexpected miracle that happened to me three days ago, My name is Edwin Wallace i live in United State,and I`m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.(supremetemple@hotmail.com}, So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website {supremetemple@hotmail.com},i f you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to Dr Papa for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again.(supremetemple@hotmail.com}, Thanks..

  • aashu

    sara think abt dis once..

    death is not the solution of every problem..who knows after death you will get relief..ahh??

    give ueself time to heal..and decide ur priorities in lyf..and then move on.

  • It's important to remember that there can be no guarantees in life. Just because you are crazy about that guy doesn't mean that he feels the same about you. It's important to hope for the best, but also be aware that when it comes to love and mutual desire to be together there are no guarantees.

  • sara

    to all m giving a suggestion if u dnt have the power to accept ur love stop hurting otherz then…

  • sara

    i m totally broken into tat much pieces that no one can combine my pieces i dnt want anything i just want to leave all the things. i cried almost the whole day and night but i dnt find any peace i spend the whole night staring at the walls m too tired guyz… m totally broken .. i cant survive in this world bcz this is not my kind of place i want to gooooooooo… never want to come back .. the previous destroyed me completely i want peace i want to go… i want to say him that what was my fault bt i dnt want to hurt him …. now i dnt want him i just want too leave

  • sara

    i loved the person more than any thing else in the whole world but he is not ready to accept me . he is sincere but i dnt know what to do . i have suffered a lot which is that much pain ful that i cant narrate . i dnt want to lose him but now i loose my self i m get rid of my life i want to take rest its not easy for a girl to break up with a person bcz if the truly love someone they cant bear the loss. if he is sincere i m sincere than why this all happened to me what i have done ?? what was my fault i even said this to god so many times but he even dosent reply. now i dnt want anything i want to die to end up all the miseries i cnt bear more.. i m human not a pet … so which eveyone can play the game of accepting and than throwing i jst wnt my grave

  • My pleasure. Glad to hear it.

  • Ash

    No she does not like him and we talked today and now everything is fine between yes, we sought out our tension and problems and so everything is fine now so thanks a lot for the prompt reply…I really appreciate that…

  • Hello, Ash. It sounds like you may be overreacting. Do you have any reason to believe that she cares about that guy romantically or that she is in any way involved with him. If not, and if the only reason you are upset with her is because she didn't tell you about him, breaking up with her is going a little too far, and you should be able to resolve this by simply talking about being more open with each other. Perhaps one reason she didn't tell you about her male friend is because she knows you to be the jealous and suspicious type, and that prevents her from being more open and honest with you… This is something for you to think about and consider.

  • Ash

    Hi, I am also going through a painful break up of 5 years with my gf, we used to stay together in a live in relationship for the last 4 years and now I am in Paris for my higher studies and she is in India, we were having some problems for the last few days just a normal fight and today I got a call from my gf sis that she is with one guy who is coming to her flat for the last 4 days and stays till 4 am in the morning and when I called her she was ignoring me and saying to me that give her some time of 2 to 3 days and she will call me till then not to call her and when she got to know that i know about that guy, she gave me the explanation that he is just a friend and nothing else and even that guy has a gf too so my question was, why she didn't tell me anything, she answered she needed some time to explain me things and told me that guy is coming for dinner that's all. He also said that nothing is happening we are just friends and nothing else.

    I told her that I can't be in the relationship like this so i broke up with her and she is crying and saying that nothing has happened and she loves me a lot, she is ready to quit the job and all but I am still confused what to do although I don't wanna leave her but on the otheer hand I have a fear that what if she does again then…?? I would appreciate if anyone can help me coz i am broken into pieces and I could not move on, I almost have 20000 pics of us together, how can I forget those moments spent with her….Please give your suggestion…..!!!

  • You should follow up the advice above, not expect instant relief and let the time do its work. Focusing on your finals might be a challenge now, but you must do what you can be focused. If you don't do as well on your exams because of this, it will only make you feel worse, and you should not allow this to happen.

  • Sweta

    i had a break up recently n i m really upset plus i m having final year exams wich i cant just let go….i m having hard time to focus on anything ..dis emotional trauma is taking a toll on my health n my studies wat should i do?
    i m not able to let go his feelings!!!

  • Sorry to hear about your pain. If a guy only had sex with you once in a past year or even if a regular, healthy guy only has sex with you once a month, chances are that either he is not attracted to you all that much or he has someone on a side (or both). This is something you should keep in mind for the future.
    There is nothing you could have done to prevent what happened. Many, if not most, guys are prone to sexual adventures, novelty, variety and affairs. I don't want to justify with evolutionary reasons, etc…. but regardless of the reasons, that's just how it is.
    This doesn't mean that you should assume that every guy is going to lie and cheat, but you must be ready for this unlikely possibility in any relationship. It's hard to hear, but once you recognize this, it will be easier to deal with it in the future.

  • isa

    I dated a guy years ago for about a year. I didn't see him for about 7 years, he saw a good friend of mines and repeatedly asked for my number, I told my friend give me his, on Thanksgiving of 2011 we talked and it has been 2 years being back together. Here's where the plot thickens. I saw a text from a girl while we were in the car and I asked what was up with that he said nothing, me being a classic storerI let it pass, the next occasion I got his phone and seen that very text I asked about and confronted him and he says it was nothing, later in the months to come this same female is his facebook friend. Then I find he's using another cell phone to text sexual things to her the week of our 2 year anniversary. Nevertheless I am devastated because he has only done the sexual thing to me once in two years. Also I gave him a second chance with me after years. When everything blew up I said some things to him other than calling jim a child of god
    We haven't had contact so far in a week, but I'dreaming about him hurting so bad constantly thinking about him, crying, praying, at times feeling a little less than. I don't understand why and how can a man do this but you love me and we are together everyday. Why lies for months and months to my face when you know I kinda know the deal. I just want to know does he feel any pain or miss me we were together for two years our second time around. The first time we were together for l year.

  • My pleasure Nita. What you experience is very common to dealing with losing your first big love. It's almost an inevitable stage of dating life and growing up. It will take time for you to get better so don't expect to get better overnight and let the time do its thing.

  • Nita

    thank you so much…Today i feel better than yesterday. I actaully asked my previous ex’s what i lacked and what i did and did not do, they all said i am stubborn but nothing they cudnt handle, my stubbornness wasnt the case in previous relationships. i think that my ex is still finding himself as his only 18, and maybe still sensitive in handling arguments and not ready for me. I cant thank you enough for ur reply. Im in the healing process now and its going abit better. i have a huge support system from friends and family.. he is however and sadly the only guy i put my everythn into and gave him everythn,went out of my way for him aswel..

    i write down how i feel b4 i go to bed coz thats wen i usually get emotional and then cant sleep, last night i took off our pictures on my wall, told myself “TONIGHT I GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO SLEEP” and i slept right thru, this morning i woke up with a dream of him coming to me saying he wants me back, i woke up and almost cried but i blocked it out by saying loudly “No,i need to stop”..it actaully helps. I think i use my stubborness to defend mself from being overpowerd in an argument and i can control it and i have been doing well but b4 he could realise that, he broke up with me and left me shattered.

  • Hi, Nita. Thanks for sharing your story. As much as it would be nice if our partners were willing to stay around and wait for us to work our our issues, it's rarely the case. Many, if not most, people don't bother and would rather move on unless you have been married for a while, have children, etc… Begging someone to stay with you is never productive, so there is no point in doing that.
    The fact that you are aware of your stubbornness problem is very good, as recognizing you have a problem is the first step to solving it. Whether you get back together with that guy or not, this is the time to take a long, hard look at your behavior and any mistakes you have made that lead to break up and work on figuring out how you can avoid the same problems in the future. You may not be able to turn back the clock but there are a lot of things you can do today to have better relationships with the future. Thanks.

  • Nita

    Hi everyone. this is the first time im ever doing something like this. im 22 and my bf is 18,well ex bf. we been dating for a year, and he broke up with me on friday, after begging him to stay. he just couldnt handle our arguing espeically my stubborness, i told him i can work on it and i have, i tried and actually argued less till he came to his senses that he cant do it anymore coz its gonna happen again. i feel that all my life i been trying to find someone who will just be there for me wen im on my worst, all my ex’s cheated on me and today all of them wants me back and cannot give me a reason for y. My recent ex,the love of my life was prob just too young to handle me, we brought out the best in each other. but he was a ticking time bomb when it came to rough times. i feel so insecure and i know its my fault he left but we ddnt have an argument wen he broke up with me, he just decided, and he told me his feelings changed. i am so crushed, i never felt so loved in my life, im a simple person that dont have expectations, just someone who i can have to share my happiness with. today he wants nothn to do with me, he totally resents me like i cheated, i never been unfaithful to him.i am having a hard time dealing with this and its not the first time i been hurt, he assured me theres no one else. i am taking it hard but im not one to clinging on the depressing feeling for long, i move on very quickly. i am worried that cannot keep a guy and i been reflecting for years on y they leave and what i lack or what i do and dont do that they leave. my parents were never married and dad was not rly around. maybe that plays a role but i dont allow it to get to me coz i used to have daddy issues and now have the need to cling on the guy im with, i go out of my way and im a good gf, i give freedom and never kept him from anythn..the worst part of everythn is that the day after he left me was my sisters brial shower and is getting married this weekend, only god knows how i got thru that day..i think im so hurt because i took a chance to love again but now i cant even stand the site of looking at a man. i know what to do but im so affraid to move on this time. i wana spend my life with someone who doesnt wanna be with me anymore.

  • Anonymous

    Its not really easy to stop seeing somebody, specially if it's your best friend's sister. So yeah, fuck me.

  • Anonymous

    Hay, Not feeling good at all, got break up with my love and cant stop myself from thinking of her…

    dont know what to do

  • salman

    hI Marce ,

    sorry !!! but always trust on god , i hope all is well just be relax never think to much focus on your health 🙂 never think to deeply , i know you are good fighter so be their as you ar . & don't ask for advice anyone just make sure its your life You have to tackle & you can ..

    😉 Living in the favorable & unfavorable !

    Situation is called -"part of life ,"

    But smiling in all those situation is called –

    "ART OF LIFE:…..:)

    Take great care of yourself!

  • Donna Evans

    I more or less agree with these tips, though you can't really stop your mind from reminiscing on the good times (or bad) you had with your ex. Breaking up because they cheated on you is the worst type of break up because of the betrayal factor. I read elsewhere that it helps to spend time with friends but avoid dating someone straight away.

  • gnanapriya

    i sincerely loved a man for past two years. life was so beautiful in this two years. the days went on………… but suddenly he said me to get away from his way. i asked the reason and he said that he had to achieve something and not to waste time in loving me. i was really shocked when he said me. i don't know how to come away from this issue.

  • peace

    This is indeed a good lesson for d day. I promise to put it all to work

  • vish

    thanks tarak,

    u r rite life isnt fr women.i should help my parents thr's big job awaiting fr me.i hope soon i ll get away frm my worries. i won blame on my gal rather i ll blame on situation made us to break.she strong girl, i wish my gal who gonna marry in couple of months.guys everyone move along wit thr situation nothing to point out when cheat up..

  • kim

    Hello,I'm kim from Australia i want to thank dr khakani for what he has done for me in my life,After my lover left me for over 5years without no notice i was so frustrated and confused i never knew what to do until i got in contact with my best friend in usa called Nicole, After she told me the great work of dr khakani how people talk good about him on radio stations and internet so she gave me the contact in contacting dr khakani, Then which i did i called dr khakani and told him how my lover left me for over 5years,He told me just to be happy that i will have him back to my arms within 48hours,i was like is this real,So mean while i had fate in dr khakani that he would bring back my lover,Really before the 48hours i got a call from a man who has left me for over 5years begging me for forgiveness,Which i did and he bought me a nice car, And now we are together and he love's me more than anything on this earth and can't do with seeing me a day am so happy and am bringing this great news to the people of australia, That there is a man who can bring back happiness to there life am happy today with the one i love please you can contact him for help on his private mail khakanibestsolutioncentre12@ gmail. com or cell Number +2348062216903

  • ahsan

    hi…i was in a relationshiop for 11 months. We both were in love. 1 month ago i had to go dubai….after few weeks my gf sent me a msg sayin her ex has come back and he is threatining her of commiting suicide if they dont get together. But she had initialy refused. That guy has kept on forcing and nw i believe her feelings fr him are coming bck and she is kind of ignoring me. I am shattered…i hve completely lost my appetite fr food n yesterday.i even took sleepin pills..i can also hear my heart poundin and beatin so fast…i m deperate fr help..i feel very weak coz of lack of food…

  • Anonymous

    how can i overcome my ex if i would always see him..,because were in the same company?

  • Diane

    Did i forget to mention that he wants to remain good friends w me. Because we have a son, n i will always be d most important person in his life besides our son. He says we share a history, n will always care for me in that way. Not the way i want him to. And we can never be together again. My question is if u havent cared for me feelings wise, why still have sex w me. Its not right to say this, because i hate myself for it. But i had 3 abortions from him within d last 2 years. So why sleep w me still? Am i stupid for sticking around this long? He never kept jobs, because of drug habit for 14 years, kept going out, n didnt help me financially, w our son, or just supporting me in every way. If i could erase all my 16 years w him from my life i would truly love that. So i wont be hurting as much as i am. I lost my friend and lover at d same time, as im anti-social. I feel alone. He told me im a very beautiful woman, i said why leave then? His answer was because its more to it than just looks. N we cant ever be together ever again. What hurt was when told me he is happier now than he ever has been. I felt like dying inside. So can i be friends w him? No, i cant. He says we have to for our son. Hes a teenager w issues right now. I need him. But can i be friends? Please help! Ill die if i see them together. As we live close by. I dont think i can. I hate him so much right now. What should i do?

  • Diane

    I too. Just ended our 16 yr relationship. He broke up w me. Im hurting to the point of suicide. I was hospitalized for panick n anxiety attack. He just said i had issues in my life n needed proffesional help. He didnt love me anymore n hadnt for long time n needed to move on. He wanted to better himself from me. We have a son. I find it hard to believe i still have to see him, because of this. I cant, eat, sleep, enjoy my life like i used to. He confessed to me that hes seeing someone else, n she makes him happy. Hes known her a month only. I found a picture of him n her online w her topless. I felt like dying. I have ongoing depression because of my life ive lived growing up. I wasnt perfect, but he wasnt either. He didnt hold jobs, had a meth addiction. N never took me out. But i stuck by him cause i loved him to death. So am i better off w out him? Is he d one lossing out? Why do i feel this way? He doesnt deserve one tear from me. It will take time not sure how long, but i will forget him. I hate him right now, im pretty, young, w self esteem issues. But i hope i get over this. As im so depressed. N cant continue on like this. Good luck to all of us here for the near future.

  • Anonymous

    i am realy love but girl is bewafa then i am not doing next love

  • Nat

    Hi Marce, Black and Tess…

    I am from Mexico. It is really sad, but it happens. I have a similar story, I didn’t know a was pregnant and i found out when I had 7 months of pregnancy. The father of my baby and I broke up when my baby was only a month old. I completely know the feeling, you don’t know what to do, you feel hope that someday everything is going to be “ok”, that you and the guy are going to get back together and it sucks ’cause nothing seems to get better.

    My son is going to turn 1 year old next month and I have to see the father of my son every 15 days and still hurts, but I decided not to see him, my mom helps me with that. She gives the baby to his father and she receives him.

    For me that is a little change to help myself and I think it works. I also try to have a social live as much as I can and even though I still thing about this guy every day is a little bit less.

    It is really hard, but not impossible.

    Sorry I had some grammatical and orthographic errors.

  • Nat

    Hi Marce, Black and Tess…

    I am from Mexico. It really sad, but it happens. I have a similar story, I didn’t know a was pregnant and i found out when i had 7 months of pregnancy. The father of my baby and I broke up when my baby was only a month old. I completely know the feeling, you don’t know what to do, you feel hope that someday everything is going to be “ok”, that you and the guy are going to get back together and it sucks ’cause nothing seems to get better.

    My son is going to turn 1 year old next month and I have to see the father of my son every 15 days and still hurts, but i decided not to see him, my mom helps with that. She gives the baby to his father and she receives him.

    For my that is a little change to help myself and thing it works. I also try to have a social live as much as I can and even though I still thing about this guy every day is a little bit less.

    It is really hard, but not impossible.

  • HARSHIT ANAND

    Hii….my girlfriend has dumped me for my best fiend and now they're in a relationship.

    I am feeling hurt, depressed and bitter as I've lost 2 important people whom i cared for the most.

    I am finding it very difficult to overcome this.

    Please help me out..

  • Nat

    … For me that is a little change to help myself and I think it works. I also try to have a social live as much as I can and even though I still think about this guy every day is a little bit less.

  • Mic

    Well obviously your going through some problems for her to do this… This sort of behaviour usually occurs at the brink of an ending relationship. Have you guys been arguing a lot? I doubt she would do this out of the blue for no reason…

  • silverton

    I have dated a gal for 5yrs and every birthday of her's I celebrate with her but this time around she told me, she want to be alone and truly she did even offing her phone, a day have pass her phone is still off. Is it normal and what shld I do?

  • Rob197

    If the guy is not as religious as you are, then it makes sense to let him go. Never use your spiritual views to trap anyone into a moral bind. You will meet someone who shares your special view of life. Goodluck.

  • Devlyn

    okay so there is this girl in my old class that I really liked and we where always having a good time, talking all the time, hanging out every day. But when we started going out, all of that stuff stopped. It was kind of awkward being with her. She is always with other people and never hangs out with me. I try to go up to her but she is always with a guy that I really hate who is trying to get her to break up with me so he can go out with her. What do I do?????

    please help me out?!?!?!?!?!?!

  • @Devlyn The answer is clear and simple. It's only the fair and the respectful thing to do is to leave her alone. If you feel confident and comfortable enough with her, you can ask her how come she doesn't want to spend as much time with you and see what she says.

  • Jay

    Hi.
    I'm a high school senior. My boyfriend recently broke up with me after two years. I thought our relationship was good. Most of our arguments were misunderstandings which we promptly got over.
    For two years, we have been abstinent, yet a few weeks before he broke up with me, we've gotten the closest we've ever been.
    I always knew he was depressed and tried to help him, but he never gave me much opportunity to. He always comforted me when I told him about my problems; after two years, I thought he knew I'd do the same. Instead, when he broke up with me, he said he had been feeling empty for months and he didn't want to bring me down.
    Now, here I am, trying to help him as a friend since he was my best friend for a year before we even started dating, but it hurts so much because I still love him and want to be with him. He said he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me or anyone else and he needed a break to get through this.
    He also didn't like how our relationship revolved around school (which I think is kind of idiotic since we both go to school and have classes together. Most of our "hanging out" occurred after I drove him home.)
    There was no malice and he still treats me so well, almost as if he didn't just break my heart. I know I can't hope and be putting my happiness into the hands of another, yet I feel that if he feels better in a few months, he may be ready for another relationship and I just hope it's with me. Then again, he may not want to be with me. I know that and I'm trying not to hope, to not think of the future, but he was my only friend and my boyfriend. (Don't get me wrong, I didn't smother him. My school work and extracurricular activities took up a lot of my time; time which he used to be with his own family and his own friends.)
    I'm still so worried for him. The people he talks to are horrible influences with no ambition, respect, or dreams. They are usually the slackers who think it's "cool" to be depressed, rude, and racist. (Keep in mind, I'm Puerto Rican, so I'm Hispanic and Black where my ex is white and Asian and his friends are white.)
    I don't know what to do so that I can still be his best friend, which he claims to view me as, while getting over him and helping him get over his own problems. I also don't want to be too available. I've cried around him too many times. I don't want to look even more pathetic.

  • mortified

    @Andy, she wont. this seems like impossible to get over her. but try dump her before she dumps you. its still easier this way. is she dumps you it will kill you. do it with whatever little power you still have. dont beg. dont make it any more difficult for yourself. sounds impossible. i cant do it myself. am a weakling. hope ur strong. best of luck

  • mortified

    @Kaizen,

    “As a rule of thumb, the moment a woman pulls away from you
    for any reason, let her go immediately. By analogy, let the
    ocean waves come and go as they please, and don’t try to
    cling to the waves nor try to stop or push them away.” – this really shook the hell out of me. damn ur right sir. gives me so much strength to read this.
    “Similarly, when she comes towards you, open your arms to her
    and love her, and as soon as she pulls away from you, let
    her go and love her. It isn’t wise to “push” nor
    “pull” a woman. It’s best to simply enjoy the fact that
    she Exists.” – this aint very convincing. if she has the power to move in or out anytime,you are asking for abuse. guess someone has to be THAT strong to put a fullstop to everything beautiful he had with her and all those feelings which kills you every moment. i aint that strong. i feel myself twitching and crying every moment i think of her. and i do that all the time. wish i get killed. or she gets killed. but she is a good person, i am a victim of my own stupid decisions. i am uncontrollable. and nobody can help me.

  • Anonymous

    hi.. i a m very simple girl with conservative culture and thinking.

    When i was in college, there was my so called best friend, whom i used to love like mad. he used for his works and was with me through out my college days, but after college, when i talked about marriage, he said he cant. I refused so many good offers my parents searched for me because of him and in hopes, that he will say yes one day, as he used to care and was friend as before, one day finally i got call that he engaged to some other girl of his parents wish. I was broken. The 7 year relationship ended like that.

    During that phase one of friends from my office helped me in recovering that phase. He was from very differnet caste. He used to love me from before, but since I was in relationship, never said that before. But He used to love and care very much, and was my best friend. He dragged me into the relationship with his deep love.

    But my parents were against of that intercaste marriage. But due to my parents wish and pressure, I had to marry a guy of my parents wish. But that person was not right. Actually even me couldnt submit him from the first day. But i was sure that slowly and steady with my husbands love , I will forget my past and will have a happy married llfe. But unfortunately that guy was also not right, he kind of married me coz of dowry and all. But my friend insisted that he is still wid me and loves me the way he used to do and gave me courage to take a step like divorce.

    I separated with my husband in 3 months as left job without intimating and started living in other city and now i am fighting for divorce and other case for 3 years now, and almost very near to it But now that friend of mine is getting married to some other girl of his parents wish.

    I am like feeling like a FOOL.again the 7 years of relationship is ending like this. What the hell is this. I did everry thing for this guy, he showed all the dreams. I fought wiht my parents for him and now he also left me. If he had to do all these things then was he with me and showed all those dreams.

    What should i do now. I mean. I am living a false life of married girl and the truth is I am still single, since i am scared of telling people about my divorce. I am still V. who will marry me, People will call me only divorcee, but the truth is , That guy left in only 3 months., never loved me and i didnt had any relation with him.

    The future seems to be dark. feel very sad, when i think of my friend who used to love and care so much for me, now he is also not there.

    where will i find my Mr.Perfect who will really love me and not use me for his goods.

  • practicalhappiness.c

    @ LaserHatred
    This is a very painful story but it reminds us of one difficult to accept but undeniable reality – there is no insurance against break-ups, whether after just a few dates or a seemingly wonderful loving partnership or dating. This is just the nature of things. There is no way you could have known what you know about your ex now.

  • LaserHatred

    10 years together. Living together. I became ill and went home so my mom could help me get better for a week. The day before leaving he held my hand, told me how much he loves me, how I'd feel better soon.

    The day after, I was sick & feverish in bed, throwing up in a bucket…. When I heard an email come in for me. It was him, breaking up with me in an e-maill.

    After 10 years of being best friends & lovers, this is how much respect he had to show me. He left me sick & unsettled, homeless even(now back w/parents), and said he hopes one day we may be friends. I was put on suicide watch for 2 days.

    Later I found he's been a member of an online dating site & seeking casual sex. The reason I know this is because I just joined the same website & after completing all the questions, he was my #1 match. The irony here is so disgusting I can literally taste puke in my mouth.

    I hate knowing how much of my life was dedicated to this a–hole, and the fact that this is causing me so much pain now.. He isn't worth a bit of it! I know that all things pass, but I would give almost anything to just forget he ever existed & be able to breathe, to wake up without this heavyweight on my chest.

  • tarak

    dude chill man i loved my gal fr 8years she left me 1month back it strtd with ego ended wit brkup she dont evn care if i die also ..i struggled evr day dude to seee de sun ….i made my self busy wit business i am making my parents happy……..nw i am going enage a new gal evrygal iz kind kool sweet we make dem special nothng gr8 wit gal …….xplore urself u cn get friends life is not for women ….

  • @Tuna Mayo, That’s strong of you to admit you are not ready for a child. I don’t think staying together because she is pregnant would turn out well. You can be supportive and a dad without dating. I personally believe adoption is better than abortion. I had a son in May and already had a daughter. I was not ready for a second child and it made my pregnancy really hard emotionally but when I was in labor and upon seeing him I realized I loved him and it has been relatively smooth with two kids.

  • Where to begin? It was love at first site. We worked together for almost a year until finally dating. I was a single mom. Him and my daughter clicked right away. I was living at home with my parents who had become emotionally and physically abusive towards me. My bf and I had talked of our whole future together. I’ve dated a fair amount and knew this was differant. We moved in together a year ago and had a son together in May. Throughout our relationship I took a lot of my depression (caused from my parents) out on him. I was so lost in it I couldn’t even control myself. I finally started getting better in August/September. We had been looking at houses together this whole time. Planning our wedding and picked out our kids names. Then about two months ago he said all my depression was too much for him and he was moving back in with his parents. He said I needed therapy, a job (I’ve been a stay at home mom for 13 months) and to go back to school (I took a semester off to have our son). I was ready to do all these things and have been working on them. He started growing more distant and eventually I asked if we were broken up. He said yeah I guess. That was sweetest day so like a month ago? He’s been working lots of over time and finally moved out yesterday. He told me recently he’s no longer in love with me but he cares about me still. We both want a good relationship for our kids. We’ve recently started sleeping together again and he has let me kiss him again. I can’t believe all that means nothing. I’m worried my depression caused him to be depressed but he doesn’t think that’s it at all. He is going to help me with rent so I can have a place to live with the kids. Not having a job and not being able to go back to my parents house makes it hard. I’m grateful he is helping but worried I’m leading myself on because we still do almost everything like we did as a couple.

  • @dr.ron, Love is never actually lost. I think you should take some time for yourself. Don't be with B just to make her happy. Don't dwell on losing A. You never know what/who may come along.

  • Saif

    I feel like falling continuously into darkness. its been now 2 years since my girl left me n got married with a guy of parents choice after 11 years of love n struggle . i feel paralyzed. have got a whole professional career in front of me. my friends n colleagues have moved far ahead of me during these two years. and i just dont find any joy in doing anything. two years should be sufficient to get over thing but i dont understand. i have lost friends, family, connects, and i kind of hide from people. Now my close friends n family have given up on me. it is like nothing works on me n nothing helps me to move my ass out on work. i fail to see any ray of light from any side..

  • Anonymous

    @Jennifer, make sure u take enough to be comfortable!!!! Asshole

  • Alex

    I am having a hard time forgetting someone.
    I met him abroad and at first I didn't want to date him or be with him. He was very sweet and he insisted and persisted until one day we started seeing each other and after a month of seeing each other I started liking him and I really enjoyed being around him. So, we started dating.
    I was so insecure at the time because of previous experiences and I admit it was hard for him to deal with the insecure me. But little by little my insecurities started to disappear and when I thought things were going right, he broke up with me. He said he wasn't feeling able to be in a relationship. I still had 4 months left in his country and we kept seeing each other, having romantic attitudes towards each other and of course, sex too, but without being in an official relationship because he didn't feel ready for it – his words.
    He has always told me I'm the best girl he ever dated and he has very strong feelings for me, but he's not sure he wants a relationship so he thinks it's better to not have one.
    Now things are complicated for me. I've returned to my country but we have kept in touch. He still doesn't want to be in a relationship with me but he keeps insisting we keep in touch and he wants to visit me next summer. Other thing I should point out is that, soon he's moving to the antipodes for laboral reasons and he's only coming back in summer, hence his visit will only happen then.
    I don't know what to do. I love him so much and I can't accept he doesn't want a relationship with me, because I know his feelings are genuine.
    I've tried to overcome my feelings for him and also overcome the sadness of being apart, but it's too deep and strong for me. We've talked about the possibility of me going to the antipodes as well, but I don't want to go if we're not going to be together as a couple.

    I know this is only lightly related to this post, but I found it and I saw people here give good advice so I would like to ask for one. I really need it because I don't know what to do.
    Should I move on? or keep fighting for my feeling for him?

    Other thing that I'm scared is to think that he'll meet someone else soon and forget about me and the promise of seeing me. Although at the same time, I'm not sure if it wouldn't be good for me, for this story would, at least, end for once.

    Thank you…

  • claudia

    @Scott, Hi scott 🙁 I felt your post, I feel the exact same. He broke up with me after our 9 year relationship saying he’s feelings are gone.I fell into depression and its been 5 months since he left me, I begged and called everyday since. ( i know its the wrong aproach but I was in such pain) Did she say her feelings are gone?

  • practicalhappiness.com

    @ jimmy Hello, this is an unfortunate situation but the one you have to accept as a man. If a girl doesn’t like or has stop liking you, you must let her go, no matter how special you think she is and how much you care about her. It takes two to tango – and if she doesn’t want to be with you, any attempt on your part to keep her will likely only make you more unattractive or less desirable to her.

    The best you thing you can do at this point is (1) is move on and consider meeting other women; and/or (2) analyze what you may have done that turned her off throughout your interactions with her. It may be something or it may have nothing to do with you or your actions, but looking back would still be worth it to make sure that whatever mistakes you made with her – you won’t make in the future.

  • jIMMY

    hi
    at this point of life I am in a very painful and depressing situation.
    i met my first love 4 years ago,it was love in first sight.
    she was having bad time coz of her break up,and the guy used her physically and just left her.
    she was sad,depressed,unhappy…then i came to her life,pulled her out of her misery,slowly v both liked each other,we njoyed,i used to make her laugh,slowly she started to forget this old guy…
    her confidence,respect,happiness all came back.
    she was normal again.
    and thus our relationship started,after 4 years things started went bad…v use to fight a lot, aurue a lot , mis management , v used to stop taking and then after few days again start talking…on and off started between us.
    and when v used to fight we used to feel that we are not meant to b together.
    one point of time v fought again, and i told her that its a breakup and mayb v cant stay togther happy (this had happened before and after few days we used to b back to normal again)

    then after a week i came to know that she went to a guy working at her workplace and expressed her feelings for her.
    after hearing this shocking news i was heart broken and angry.

    i went to her for explanation and she said that everything is finished now between her and me an she will not speak about that guy coz its her personal life.
    through her best friend i came to know that she is totally into that guy,and finds her the best match for marriage.

    i tried to get back her in my life through every posibl way.
    but she is a changed person now. now she is happy with that guy,totally in her dreams,makng plans for her future life with him and me out.

    in such a short span of time she left me totally broken,the girl ho used to love me and wanted to marry me…is now totally in love with someone else.

    i cry everyday coz she broke my trust, my heart and i am not able to concentrate on anything.

    please i request you all to give our comments and view points.

  • practicalhappiness.c

    @Keif
    Hello, it sounds like you should indeed let her go. Whether distance is a real reason or just an excuse not to see you anymore, if she doesn't want to see you and wants to move on in her life, then you should respect her wish. It's hard since you love her so much, but… it takes too to tango to maintain a relationship as you know.

  • My Girl friend of 3 years broke up with me because i started going to college and my school was 4hours away from her. She said she couldnt handle being in a long distance relationship. because she needed more attention and needed to be touched and held by me physically. But remember im only 4hours away. I just dont get it, if you love someone the way you said you do shouldnt you do what it takes to make it work out. Should i stop trying with her and let her go.

  • shina

    help him overcome the bad situation he currently is in. i know his conditions are bad right now( not because of break up but some other issue) and i hate that too. but i fear that if i go on supporting him right now i’ll eventually end up getting back together. and i fear that would lead another heart ache. i m suffering like hell. and i am just tired of pretending in front of people that i am ok when actually i am miserable.
    i might have smaller issue than those listed above but i am suffocating.
    need some insights. plz help

  • shina

    hi, i am quite to these sites and plz forgive if i sound naive. i have been in a relationship for the past 3 yrs. i love him and also believe that he loves me back. now couple of days ago i found out from his mail box that he talks to some other girl as well(they even video chatted). some faint memories from past made me believe that he hides stuffs from me. i spoke to him over phone( we being different places right now) and broke up. since then he made no move to contact me. today speaking to a common friend i came to know that he is not even virgin(apologise me for using the word here), something that i was unaware of. my hatred in him is growing and an hour ago he sends me a mail seeking apology for his acts and

  • Katherine

    @Katherine, Thanks, it will be painful, but I guess it has to happen

  • practicalhappiness.c

    @Katherine.
    It's a difficult and painful story but if he is indeed gay, you should look at a few positive aspects of this break up. First, it has nothing to do with you and with who you are. Secondly it's better to find out now that he is gay than later in a relationship.

  • Katherine

    Here is my tragic story. We have been together for 6 months. I loved him with all of my heart, but we are moving away form each other so I expected a breakup soon. One of my very close friends is best friends with my boyfriend and they tell each other everything. My close friend told me that he was going to break up with me.(he told her) I asked why and the reason was that he felt like I deserved someone better. I told my friend that I didn't want someone better. I wanted him. My friend finally told me a secret that she told me I needed to know. My boyfriend is homosexual… I cried all night. I've dated him for 6 months and I didn't know he was gay? I don't know what to do or say. I haven't seen him yet, do we havent broken up yet, but it's soon. I still love him and want to be with him but I don't know what to do. He doesn't know I know he is gay. HELP

  • The Wonder

    currently im in relationship. i was with this bf for almost 6 yrs. supporting him all the way from financial wise. he is jobless almost for 2 and half yrs. im from poor family, yet i went to work and support this guy. i Never ever give a cent to my poor needy mum.i tried to help him my level best to get a job. But he seems like not bothering abt anythg and had no responsibility. i hate a person with no responsibility. pity my poor mum. i have express my disappointment to him. smhw he managed to convince me that i will get job soonest but no initiative taken by him. we did have continuous fight..he did called me name, hit, use vulgar words,abuse me. then , he will say sorry and everthg seems fine for a weeks and back to square again. i hv tried to help him and hoping he will change one day. he did visit, Skype,FB his ex-gf without my knowledge. whn i found out, i'll be telling story with so emotional and apologise. But he cant take it if i did the same thing.

    at 1st i love him so much. But by days flies with same routines, my love started to fade. im worry abt my future and i dont want to live the same live which my mum did. i started to wonder, if he cant tc of himself then hw he is going to tc of our future life. he is 30 surrounded by debts incapable of paying. im end up paying his debt. i felt so frustrated depressed.

    im thinking of breaking up with him but i wonder whether is a right decision. im so scared that i cant overcome my feeling after broke up and do not wish to leave him in suffer. i love him yet i started to hate him on the same time. i scared that i will end up being alone and single 4ever. i dunno to continue to stay with him or just break up..im clueless..pls help me if u have any suggestion

  • subramoniam

    I am in a stage of break up with my love…! who i considered to be the most precious person in my life.But i didnt show my love and affection properly which lead to break up.it really pains now.but she dont even care about me any more and spends time with her new friends and i am all alone jus pestling my self and crying like a looser not able to sleep. God its really pain full i couldn't even able to share with any one as i don't have true friends.its one of the pain full situation i am going through which i am not able to explain in words. And ur words r really promising and motivating.THANK YOU MY FRIEND.!

  • seedy

    I had a relationship with my a guy for last 4 months. From the second week we started talking he used to talk about marriage. He forced me for not writing an exam since he did not want me to go away from him. He constantly kept on telling that he is seriously committed to me, and he has tremendous mental attachment with me. We used to talk for almost all the hours in a day, we used to go out, we used to share intimate chat including – after marriage plans, what to do in honeymoon etc. But somehow I used to feel that he doesn’t actually “love” me. Many times he used to tell me about another girl (she is a good girl and my known too, though now she doesn’t live here, she lives in a different city now).. and I used to get agitated whenever he used to praise that girl and he used to compare me with that girl and told me that – she is much better than me.. it used to hurt me bcoz I was possessive about him. (Honestly, I’m not good-looking, but the other girl is very beautiful and she is very nice too.. she had long queue of boys after her.. ) Just few days back, I came to know about his previous affair with that girl. And he hided that from me. He had fights with many boys for that girl. Actually we all are from the same recruited batch in office, though we are posted at different cities. Now those boys and other girls have become hostile to me. And my boy has openly denied the fact that he has any feeling for me! He openly confessed his love for that previous girl and rejected/insulted me publicly. Later I came to know that previous girl is getting married, so he used me as a pawn to make others show that he can has as many girls as he can.. I’m mentally shattered.. I told everything to that previous girl in front of him, and he accused me of being a blackmailer! I’m feeling so badly ditched! And in office group, everyone has known the clutters.. and they condemn me.. I really loved him.. why did he cheat me and used me as a pawn! I never harmed him! what to do? and how to cope up with this heartache?

  • Brian

    I just broke up with my Woman yesterday, and today the pain is somewhat unique, the pain is not overwhelming now but it has only been two days. The hardest thing for me is just letting go. I will never say anything against this Woman and I have to bear the brunt of the blame do to the fact that I definitely took her for granted, and it came back to haunt me. I know I will be fine one day, when I am not sure but I will be fine. I think this article will help me and I will keep it as a constant reminder to help me deal with the issues that lies ahead. I need to thank God that the pain is not immense.

  • Brian

    @ Sanghametra , I know it hurts now but you will be fine with time. You have to say to yourself you will be fine and I will arise from this situation, this is how you encourage yourself, because your friends can only share themselves but so much, so you will have to deal with you and you cannot even think that the person you lost will encourage because they are a part of the pain. But we all have to remember that one day things will be better.

  • sanghametra

    hie…i broke up very recently..its very hard for me to get him out of my mind…everything was so perfect so good..he even met my family and things were almost finalized..But all of a sudden .he calls me to say that this relationship is over…only because i went to a night club with my friends ..and that he knew it too.but only because of his attitude and ego he broke up with me..and just after three days he started dating his ex girl friend again..he has blocked me from Facebook,has put my calls on reject list…their was only one call from his end to say that he is sorry…and that he cannot go with me further..m so broken..i dont know how to overcome this situation.

  • vivek

    the only solution to overcome a break up depression is to get into another relation as fast as possible. the one who does it over comes the trauma.

  • I feel ya

    I feel ya, im in a similar situation. Give him space and time

  • Sameer

    Hi
    My girlfriend and I love Each other from above ten years . But she is afraid of her family a lot because she knows if her family comes to know our relation they gonna kill me.
    she wants me to keep out of danger and requested me for break-up . its happen several times we fight and don’t even talk for months then come back. this is breaking me and her like Slow poison . We love each other very much. the main difference is between the Citizenship, she is Arab and i am Indian and that too relative of her. i suggest her so many times that i will talk to her family but she refuses because of my future. she rejected so many marriage proposal and said her family that she will never marry. how we can overcome this. please give me a solution how we can marry each other.

  • Samantha

    My boyfriend and I were together for eight years and we recently broke-up last month. Since things hadn’t been working for awhile, we agreed to give it a few months since we both cared about each other and to give it one more go. Some time passed and we had a big fight about something stupid and stopped talking for 3 weeks, even though we shared a home together. Although we hadn’t broken up, he began to see a girl and when asked if this was someone he was hooking up with he replied, “No, but maybe down the road”. He later said he felt defensive by my questions and in a panic responded this way. Regardless, I was hurt and began packing my things to move. He barely could have any conversation with me about how to break up our relationship and our belongings of eight years.

    We still lived together while I looked for an apartment and he began expressing to me how much he loved me, cared about me, how I influenced the adult he is today and I physically and emotionally reconnected with him. This continued for a couple of months until I moved out and it was such an emotional rollercoaster…because I thought he really cared about me and I believed he was just insecure about how to deal with his emotions. The first week I moved out, he visited me at my apartment, cuddled with me overnight, told me hel loved me, and we pretended we were a family together. The second week, I found out he was sleeping with the girl he denied hooking up down the road, who is also 12 years younger than him. But, he continued to tell me how much he loved me, cared about me, missed me and wanted to see me. I spent two weeks crying, not eatting, not sleeping, and having panic attacks. Within one week of finding out, I shifted my feelings from extreme sadness, pain, hurt to anger, betrayal, and disrespect.

    I wrote him a letter for my own personal closure. I thanked him for all the wonderful memories we had together, but I also voiced my hurt for his selfish actions to express love and affection to me even though he emotionally was moving onto another relationship. I left it that I wanted him to leave me alone and that I couldn’t trust him. He texted me when he got the letter, but indicated it made him too sad to read and how much he missed me. After two weeks, he was still texting me he could only read the first page because it made him sob too much and he missed me so much.

    Then, last night I had had enough. In the middle of celebrating New Year’s Eve, I randomly text him saying, “Fuck you and your pathetic texts. You have 10 days to read the rest of the letter and return my things or I will make this a legal issue”. He responded with he will now read my letter and return my things this week at a time when I won’t be around since I don’t want to see him. Certainly I miss things about our life together, but one has to take accountability for one’s actions and sometimes the truth can hurt terribly but I can never trust someone who lies to me….even if they are emotionally weak. Maybe this was a midlife crisis or something for him, but the excuses don’t matter to me anymore. I’m eatting better, still need to take some ambien to get to sleep, and I have an occasional low grade panic attack, but I can feel my strength coming back and I have friends who are supportive when I need to vent. I’m sure I will eventually move on to dating others, but it is the furtherest thing from my mind and I wouldn’t want to give anyone a broken me. The holidays were rough, but lets celebrate…it’s a new year!

  • Devastated :(

    I recently suffered from a pretty harsh break-up, my ex left me stranded at a bar that we went to with no way home. I tried calling him and texting the night he left me and got no reponse. Didn’t text me for 2 days, and tells me he has had some time to cool off and think, that he isn’t mad at all and just think that we need to talk. He decided to break it off over text, but contiuously tells me he wants to be friends and hangout. I have talked to him numerous times over the last month. Then all of sudden he stops talking to me. I am so devastated about this because I loved him, and believed he loved me. Everything he has done since the break up have been contradictory to things that were said and done during our relationship. I am constantly overanalyzing these things, and I can’t seem to get him out of my head.I don’t feel like I have gotten my closure. This isn’t the first time I have been devastated over a break-up, any advice as to what to do to prevent it from happening again?

  • Eprincess

    I think if he really was serious, he would have been made it clear to his ex that you are the one he loves and that his children will be apart of his girlfriends life. He's not being fair to you, and you need to stand up to him and tell him what your needs are. If he can't respect that and start making changes, then I would definitely start stepping away and leave ur options open. He doesn't sound so sure. In my opinion, you shouldn't have to tell a man you want his time. That comes along with commitment. Thats just a given. As far as the "i love u" thing, that wouldnt be a big deal if he spent alot of time with u, cuddled u, kissed u, did things with/for u more than he's doing. Me and my bf(been together for a while now) don't say it all that much, but we spend alot of time together and we are touchy feelie alot so I can see why u need assurance. Just tell him what your needs are and tell him you would like it if he told you he loved you more. Lay it out on the table and make it clear. If he can't see your VALID points, I would have to weight the pros and cons of being with him and decide if he is making you truly happy. It sounds like u love him alot, but you have to love yourself and only accept what you really deserve and want. Don't just deal with it because you love him. Your worth more than over analyzing him like this.

  • Confused

    I'm hoping I can get some kind of advice on what to do so any comments would be greatly appreciated. I have been with my boyfriend for almost three years. He has 2 children with another woman who are 7 and 3. I have only spent a hew hours with his kids since we started dating. His ex is one of those crazy baby mommas and doesn't want me around her children at all so I know that's why he doesn't allow me to be around them but he claims that he sees a future with me. He seems unwilling to talk to her about me being around the children so I have stopped pushing the issue since he says to give it time. He works from 5:30 pm to 3am so he doesn't have a lot of time for everything that he's got going in his life and I try to be understanding of that but at the same time I feel like I should get more time to spend with him than I actually do. On the weekends that he has the kids I only get to see him once he puts the kids to bed. Sometimes he doesn't even invite me over then cause he's tired from doing things with the kids all day. I hate to sound selfish but at times I just want to scream WHAT ABOUT ME??? If he would stand up to his ex then I could be around the kids and I think it would make our spending time together a whole lot easier and I think I would be happier. For the most part he treats me good and he is a great guy so I guess that's why I'm still hanging on hoping things will get better once I do get to be around the kids. He's always so tired so anything romantic I feel too guilty to ask for and when I do complain I feel guilty for bugging him. He has never told me he loves me by himself although he says it back when I say it, and when I ask him why he just says that he's never been one to say it often. I've been back and forth on what to do. Sometimes I'll tell myself I'm just gonna back up and do my own thing to make it seem like I'm losing interest and then he'll do something nice and I'm right back where I started. Am I just waiting for a man who is never gonna give me what I want or should I stick it out? Please help! Also I want to add that I am unbelievably in love with this man just in case that wasn't obvious.

  • Remedy

    Dont ever think of past , just focus on the future.
    present day is god gift enjoy to the out most.

  • Anonymous

    Hi guys,

    Exactly one year back I was facing the same problem you guys did. My ex-gfren started dating some other guy after a 3 year relationship with me. Like everyone even I was devastated, stopped eating, stopped sleeping, used to cry and cry over what happened. My parents supported me a lot through this phase and I feel lucky to have them. After 2 months slowly I started getting back to my former self. But after 4 – 5 months I realized that I was in a state of chronic depression. I lost confidence, self-belief and happiness in my life. That’s when I started doing meditation to concentrate on what I want better. I started learning guitar, tried to focus on work instead of feeling bad. Step by step I gained my confidence back, became more stronger and understood that ultimately it is all about me and not her. If she cheated on me then surely she is not the right person for me at any cost and I deserve a better person. One year after the break up I don’t say that I am over her and became the same happy guy I used to be, but I am a lot better than what I was as a person before the break up. ‘And ya, the reason my girl friend broke up with me is coz I am a very nice guy and she doesn’t want to be with a nice guy like me’. The very words made me cry for months, but now I laugh thinking how I ever fell for such an immature person

  • Tuna Mayo

    I'm in a rough bind myself, and looking for some advice even though I know this is something I'm going to have to figure out myself in the end. I've been with my girlfriend for 8 months – I know that's not so long compared to others, but we got very deep very fast and so it feels like much longer. The thing is I really love her, but at the same time I know she's just not the right one for me, for reasons too many to list. Complicating matters is that she has a 5-year-old son with some learning disabilities and I've become very attached to him as well. Furthermore, she makes considerably less money than me and lives with her mom and her sister. And on top of that we both live in a foreign country and I speak the language here but she doesn't. These kind of things make me feel like her "protector" or "savior"; I feel like I can help her and I should help he, so I always try to assist her in any way that I can – translating, taking her to the doctor, helping teach her son, driving her around (she doesn't have a license), etc etc etc. When I realized several months ago that she wasn't the right one for me, I tried to break up with her, tried a couple of times but she would always convince me to come back. Or maybe it was myself that wouldn't let us break up; I'm afraid of being alone, I want to help her, I love her, etc.

    Up until now the obvious advice would be, break up! It's painful but worth it in the end. And I was getting ready to do just that – and then she got pregnant. It was just a few days ago and we're not sure if she's actually pregnant, but suffice to say there was an accident during sex that made it a distinct possibility, and also she feels that her body is telling her she's pregnant.

    What should I do? First of all, maybe she's not pregnant, and this will all blow over and we'll have a painful but necessary breakup. But if she is, what should I do? Should I encourage her to get an abortion, as hard as that might be for her? Should I break up with her but try to come up with some sort of way of sharing the child (nevermind that I am not ready for a child yet…)? Should I stay with her for the sake of the baby, and hope that the relationship improves and I can be happy even as my life is suddenly and irrevocably changed forever? I feel like what would make me the happiest is if she got an abortion, but does that make me a bad person? Will I feel like crap for the rest of my life, as if I used her and then threw her away when she got pregnant?

    Really at a loss here.

  • Trav

    Hey guys, I hope everyone is doing well. I just stumbled across this blog looking for positive outlook upon the future that i will live. Ive been with this girl for almost 9 years, have a beautiful 3 year old boy together. We pretty much separated because we have a toxic relationship thats not good on us or our child. We have been separated for about 3 months now and i just found out she has a new boyfriend, ironically a guy she cheated on me with from before. I know its part of the moving on process but i still cant help but feeling betrayed or hatred towards her. Is this legitimate or jealousy?

  • will

    After reading many thing this article gave me practical advice that helped thanks 🙂

  • Anonymous

    It feels good to know that I'm not the only one going through a break up. For five years I gave everything I am to this man and now I have come to realize he's not the one for me. We broke up several times but now I'm planning with the help of God to stay focused and strong for not taking him back. I'm not a saint, however I lost myself to him. It was hard to have a conversation with him, I was always wrong and blamed for all the bad in the relationship, many times he cursed at me and offended me. It was hard for me not to taking him back because when he did came back he promised it was going to be different but this never happened. He will modified for a short period of time but will go back to his old ways. I went through a lot and I hope to heal soon. It hurts like hell and I don't want to suffer anymore.

  • Sunny..

    @Arjun…we guys really are emotional fools…I have seen my friends those who cheat their girlfrndz they are alwz happy and their girl frndz like them a lot…Crux of the matter is never show your Girl that there wud be nothing in ur life when she leaves….if a guys shows this..He is gone..!!!!!I also did the same mistake i cried,begged, pleaded did all the possible mistakes for which i repent now, everything went in vain, i am totally screwed…

  • Sunny..

    Hi The Dark Knight,my story is very similar to yours love story,only difference being we had a 2.5 years of relationship..I have lost my apetite and my interest in everything…I tried pursuading her a lot but she didnot agree..she used to talk very rudely and used to provoke me saying bad things to her…and then she used to say u said this and that to me…I told her that these all things were the outcome of my anger.. and I am not like this…she made up her mind in ending the relationship because she was incapable of fighting with her parents that she would want to do intercaste marriage..she spoke to her mom later when she already had lot of fights ..but she everytime used to say I am not leaving you bcoz of my parents I am leaving you becuase u said bad things to me….She promised me somany things and used to say more often that she cannot live without me what happened to her suddenly I donot know..I am not sure..but she has left me n guilt..She has played with my emotions and feelings…!!!!!

  • Seasick

    My husband of 20 years walked out and did not return. Says he loves our 3 kids and will always love me bur can’t be with me anymore. He said things wont change and he will not change his mind about this. I’m devastated. Trying to move on but clinging to hope.

  • arjun

    All the guys in this world are cursed thats all i can say, these girls are so strong(mentally). who said girls are the weaker sex, its we men who are weak who keep crying over the lost love even years after the break up……they reject us, they dump us,they cheat us, they kick our ass still we keep crying and want them back..y?? to get dumped and hurt again …be a man stand up stop crying thy r not worth all our tears…..

    comin to my story i loved this girl(witch) we were in a relationship for 3 years she told she was very happy with me she was head over heals for having me as her guy she told she wanted to marry me and planned for the future …all of a sudden last month she broke up with me, i still dono wats the reason she told me some silly reasons its ok i did respect her feelings…. till then it was ok …and thought she will come back to me if i give her some space and don speak to her for a week or so….( i was so damn stupid) , then all of a sudden lightning struck my heart i heard it from one her friend that she is goin out with someother guy …i din believe, so i called her just to find out that it was true and she is over me in just a week and she is happy with him …i cried,begged, pleaded did all the possible mistakes for which i repent now, everything went in vain, i am totally screwed…
    now i have a question to ask u all DID SHE EVER LOVE ME OR WAS SHE JUST ACTING OR FAKING TO BE HAPPY WITH ME……..all i did was just loved her blindly(mistake)

  • Lady tio

    Hi lady

    If you r a person who believes in Him, it is worth to find a partner who believes in Him too.
    You may have suffered now but you have gained alot for the future.
    Don’t look back, run forward.

    Believe and pray… Open up and make friends.
    He will bless you and everyone here with a true and sincere heart.

    Many more good things will come to you, I am sure.
    Take good care of yourself.

  • siva

    I loved a girl (A)for 2 years. Even she too loved me but we broke up as she said she does not like to live with me further. So we broke up on August 14 last year. Its almost an year now. Still I am unable to forget her. Men are really innocent…. how come she can be with out my memories is the thing which makes me wonder still….

    In the mean time a girl(B)in my company was very affectiobate with me. But due to the hurt which I experienced because of my ex-lover, made me stay away from love(B). I did not have the idea of loving anone. Now when B too started moving away from me. I could feel the pain of both. Why things like this happes to me alone. But one thing I want to say is What ever it may me for our inner self we are always alone. Relationships are like water on a lotus leaf. It seems to be together but it does not stick…. 🙁

  • lady

    I have been dating this guy for almost 7 years. we agreed not to have sex till we are married. we have been doing well till the past 2 years when he said he can't anymore so we should do it. Am so spiritual and find it difficult to do it. Just last month i agreed to do it and i had a relevation stopping me. I told him and he said we should go our separate ways, but it is very painful and difficult for me because he is the only friend i have, am not all that sociable. We plan getting married in 2 years time if God permit so pleaded with him to hold on a little longer but he said he can't,he said he might be tempted to hold me if he sees me, i dont know what to do. Need help pls.

  • Seung Hyun

    Thank you for this article because it has really helped me. Recently I broke off with my boyfriend. We did start a little fast but believed that he was ready for the relationship. I am overseas and broke off with me over the phone and facebook saying that he was confused and wanted to be friends first when he was the one who asked me to be serious with him. Yes I cannot denie that it was great however I moved on and I am not harvesting the incredible moments I learned to let go and move on with this wonderful life and expect the unexpected.

  • The Dark Knight

    Dear Jeniffer, I can understand what’s really going on in your mind and in your heart at the moment.
    It’s really not easy to break up after marriage!!
    This really shows that today, nothing can last, not even marriages, People’s trust is breaking, the path to Practical happiness is fading out and almost all sorts of open doors are closing down.
    Be it a male or a female, Love if true, will always hurt when it breaks.
    In my case it wasn’t a marriage, though not less than a marriage.
    But when i listen to stories like yours, i get cold shivers!!!
    God bless U and bless everyone of those who need to truly come out of this mess!!

  • Jennifer

    I have recently broken up with my husband of 21 years…He said he didn’t love me anymore and hasn’t for awhile and just couldn’t continue to lie or pretend anymore…I’m basically devastated…We have 2 children and he is very successful…He is trying to keep all the assets from me and in addition manipulate me to doing what he wants in the divorce proceedings by dangling getting back together like a carrot in front of me…When I ask him directly if he wants to get back together he saids no, but will also say he doesn’t know what the future holds…Wish I knew what to tell you to do because I do know that this is not easy…but i have hope that everything that happens – happens for a reason…and that this pain can’t last forever…

  • The Dark Knight

    I forgot to mention, that it was going so serious that marriage was on cards the next year. And yes she didnt even allow me to talk to her parents atleast once?? Just not even once!! Why the hell do these heart breakers exist in this world?? Why the hell do they like playing with people’s emotions?? I cant even say that i got a fair chance atleast to convince or talk to her parents, even though they wouldnt have allowed!! At least i would have tried, we never know some miracle could have happened!!
    PracticalHappiness.com, pls help me. I am in deep depression and my mind is in an ultimate chaotic stage!!

  • The Dark Knight

    Guys, I am a guy myself.

    Reading almost every story here, i would say my story is petite. There's nothing like getting ditched or dumped by ur spouse, especially after marriage!!

    But i believe everyone's story is unique in a way.

    And yes as i mentioned i am a guy myself, it was dead painful for me, when i had to break up with a gal of my teen hood days, we knew each other since 8 years, and have been together since 3.5 years. Guys its been over 2 weeks and i still feel as if the bucket within my heart is not yet empty, i still feel as if i have to cry more and more. I hail from India, a land where there are lots and lots of traditions and cultures to come in between two people who are of different castes, basically a f****d up situation. Finally her parents came to know about us, and they said nothing doing, no inter caste marriages and stuff (I mean come on how ridiculous can they be?? I am not talking about inter religion marriages, where i am a hindu or she is an islamic!! We both are hindus, its just the different caste!!)

    And the thing which stunned me is, she after being with me for so damn long time, just decided to break up within a few hours?? Was i a joke for her? Were all the promises she gave me about sticking up with me false?? When i asked her that i would be requiring her when i come to convince her parents, how confidently she lied to me by saying "YES, I AM ALWAYS WITH YOU".. and look what she betrayed me, ignored me to such an extent that she kicked me out of her facebook, my email id was blocked and she didn't respond to my calls!! WHY?? I mean i cant stop crying and even thinking about it is so very nightmarish!!!

    All i wanna ask PracticalHappiness.com is – I have just come out (not really) of this terribly painful break up, and i cant really concentrate on every damn thing. I am literally in coma, i see, i hear, i sense everything, but i dont speak and i have just become like a machine. Please help me.. Please!!!

  • A broken heart

    I have recently had a broken heart. I have never known what it meant until I experienced it.

    It's about 4 in the morning now,and I couldn't sleep. I'm having a burning in my heart . Im a divorced woman , but i didn't have such a feeling with my ex, this is totally different.

    I met this guy online five months ago, this quickly devolped between us and he made me love him by the way he cared about me , the way he made me feel so special. I just fell in love with him. We're from different countries , so he came to visit me . we spent the most amazing week in my life.We were both extremely happy and totally in love . He went back and we planned for another visit , we spent hours chatting online and hundreds of texts .

    He came back to see me just last week , from the moment I hugged him at the airport , I felt something different, but I ignored my feeling and told myself that he was just tired.

    He was getting so emotionally far away from away , he didn't look at me the way he used to in his first visit.It was just the physical side that mattered to him. I kept telling him that hewas far away , but he denied it.

    I had a breakdown when we were together , i couldn't take the cold way he was treating me.

    When he got back , we chatted and he made it to me perfectly clar that he was unhappy with me , and that he thinks that I'm not the person he fell in love with and that I decieved him .I was in shock and I couldn't believe it , it was like I was talking to someone else , he wasn't that same person that I loved . He was so cold and distant.

    I feel my whole world is breaking apart.It's a strong feeling.

    We have made so many plans for the future , i thought that I have found my dream man and that I have to stop looking . We talked about famliy , kids marriage , having a house . He promised he would love me forever and unconditionally.

    I really do need help , the pain is incredible , i never thought that heartbreak can be so physically painful, I feel pain in every part of my body . I know it's still new and I have to give myself time to heal , but sometimes i think that the pain will last forever.

  • melanie v

    about 3 weeks ago, my boyfriend and best friend of 2 and 1/2 years walked out on me for another woman. we have a one year old son together and i am 4 months pregnant with our planned second child. about 2 weeks before i found out about the other girl, we went to a couples therapist, and he seemed so eager to do the work to make our relationship work out. we were going through a seperation for a few weeks but we still told eachother how much we loved and cared for each other and that everything would be ok. he was back and forth between our home and his mothers house. i really thought things would get better. the day before i fund out about the other girl, he still had me convinced he loved me. he told me i was so wonderful and beautiful and how he would always love me. the following day, my whole world turned upside down. not only did i confront her and discover the truth, but he dumped me and said he would be happier with her because he was so miserable with me and that the only reason he stayed with me was becasue he felt sorry for me. i am devestated. what hurts the most is that she and him have been having sleepovers at his mothers house, and everyone in his family doesnt seem to think anything of it, though im carrying his child and at home with our son. on top of that, i am moving out of the apartment we started our family in, i took my name off the lease so he can have it because i found another place anyways, and they are going to move into it together. how could he do this to me? i gave this guy everything i could offer to him. he did not work for a year and still stood by his side. i loved him so much. we were supposed to get married and have our family, but now its completley broken. i am trying my best to be strong for our children, but it hurts so much. how could he do this? how he just replace me after everything weve been through?

  • practicalhappiness.c

    This is a very painful but quite common situation. This kind of pain will not go away overnight. It takes time and patience and the pain eventually will necessarily subside. Then, the very valuable lessons from this past relationship will remain. Don't forget them and appreciate them, as they should serve you well in the future. Being busy and meeting new people will help, but you need to let time do its work.

  • Carpe Diem

    I was with someone for 5.5 years on and off. The last two years of that were on and off. We had major trust issues from the start. I knew very early I wasn't the one for him, but I stayed anyways and as a result, I lost myself, I hurt myself, and even though he was hurting me, I hurt him too. I had issues. He had issues. And together it just became a continual cycle hurt, pain, and inconsistent happiness. He would break up with me or say he's single very often towards the end (the last two years). Find a new girl. She didn't work out. He'd come back to me. And I wouldn't let go. I lost myself. SINCERELY LOST MYSELF. And it's only now that I'm starting to figure it all out. He's with someone new again and made it clear I need to move on because he has, he's happy, and considering comitting to her. My friends have seen her all around holding hands with her, kissing her, etc. I know it's just a matter of time before I'll see it with my own two eyes. I'm here to tell everyone, LOVE YOURSELF FIRST. I am in pain, I cry daily but I brought this on myself by staying in something that wasn't good for me and for also loving someone who I love more than they love me. I wanted to marry that man, be the mother of his children, but there are qualities that he didn't have that I tried to ignore or told myself "he'll get better"…"I'll get better"…and guess what? It didn't. What hurts the most is that all the work and tears I put in, another woman may end up getting. It's devastating. But I have to trust that he was in my life for a reason and to show me my short comings so I can prepare for the man I'm supposed to be with. I know he's out there and I'm just praying that he comes soon. Time is so short. Life is so short. And I believe we DESERVE to experience a healthy, balanced, progressive love that makes us better as people. I know your hearts are hurting, mines is, but we can get through this everyone. We can. Accept the wrongs you made, accept that they may never apologize for what they did to you, and work through it. Life has a funny way of sorting things out. They may be "happy" now, but we will be happy again one day too. Just know, the happiness starts within and we won't get what we deserve until we know that we deserve it! Peace onto you all. Remain encouraged. Stay around people who want the best for you. Cry. Cleanse your soul. And try to stay busy. Suffering is optional. They're out there living their life…I think it's HIGH TIME we do the same. Even if it feels like we're dying inside, FAKE IT UNTIL WE MAKE IT! One day we'll wake up, and that terrible pain, the one that makes you wake up angry, tense, and instantly sad, will be LIFTED. Meditate on that day and it will come soon….this is what I keep telling myself….and I pray you'll start telling yourselves this too.

  • Daly

    Just got out of a 6 year relationship…hurts a lot. Just thinking that he reacts totally different than the rest of us (like nothing ever happened) sucks! It's still very recent so I have not missed him much yet, I have not cried yet. I dont know if it's cuz am upset or it's just me. My thought is: if he acts like I'am not important to him, why should I show any emotion? Ohh..man, he helped me raise my kids, he was there for them since my kids have a memory, my kids dont even care about their bilogical dad but for my x-bf, they are always saying "I miss him" and its only been a week. He hasnt even made the effort on getting in contact with them. Sad, how a man can seperate from the woman & kids. Kids shouldnt be involve in anything of this matter.

    Thanks for helping me let some pressure go!

  • Anonymous

    they say love is joy but to be honest love is the most hurtful thing l have experienced

  • sara

    Hello

    WOW I read all these stories and it gives me strength to let go of my ex…

    I see all these people suffering and I have been thru the same… I have cried my eyes out, I have lost my appetite my sleep , my smile…myself!!!!!!and I still love my ex..but I am coming to the understanding that I am worth a lot.. and so are you!!! and nobody should make us go thru thissss nobody should hurt us this way! and the people that makes us cry ,, and makes us wonder about dying to stop the pain are just trashhh they are the ones with the empty hearts,, the ones with the problem of not knowing how to love… I am not saying that everybody that breaks up with you is bad but most of them ,, the ones that leave you for another person (like it happened to me) or the ones that cheat regularly or lie or see other people behind your back are not GOOD PEOPLE and we deserve BETTER!! somebody like us committed ,,, loving, caring that knows how to give it all and respect that love and cherish it.. we will find somebody that will love us that way .. i am praying we will and that with time we will understand better why it did not work and we will smile and said I am better now !

  • Anonymous

    Hey,

    I was in quite similar situation to Bryan's. Tho I was very patient and I delt with this with cold blood – Im just one of those thinking love is also acceptance of someone's flaws. We were together for 4 years, she broke up with me, had some adventures, we came back together after like 6 months, and all was great.

    Then, out of a sudden, she has just decided to break up and cut all ties, just like that, after constantly assuring me of her deep love, with every word and gesture, after assuring me nothing will break us ever, after winning my trust again, she has just left me overnight.

    Life is strange, and people are egoists, the faster you learn this, and apply this to your life, in healthy dose, you will be much more emotionaly stable. One has to value self else you will get devoured by pity and remorse (oh I could keep her if I did this or that, sorry not going to happen, Ive been there, I lost myself into my love, in fact, maby thats why she has left, peopel wants a challange….), not able to move on, like I am now.

    I sit here and in my mind my beloved girl is embodiment of everything I always wanted to have in a relationship, a woman I wanted to spend life with, and I cannot understand she wants someone else, and the feeling of her beeing with someone is killing me now, so hard to let go when you dive too deep. I never wish anyone this torture.

  • Bryan

    I just had my broke up. My heart feels so much in pain. I don’t know what to do. I love my girlfriend a lot. But I always face problems with her. She is a friend type of person. She wouldn’t leave her friends even for a bit for me. She goes out all the time with them and spent time with them while i just wait for her come back. It’s not like I didn’t wanna join them. Just that every time i does, i would feel left out badly. I sacrificed a lot for her. But i don’t see any response from her. She always complaints about me now going out with her and stuffs. I really wanted to, but she won’t choose me between her friends.

  • WS

    I had an affair with this guy D, we cared for each other! He has a daughter 4 years old and I have a daughter too, same age as her daughter! At first we chatted on fbook, and he showed his interest in me, asking me to be his girl friend, i told him i having problem with my marriage, if my husband and i don’t have kid, we would have been divorced long time ago. He told me he had problem with his wife as well, and his situation was so much similar as mine. He asked me out to meet, we kissed on our first date, we had sex on our second date, we flirted online, we msn everyday, sending text and calling each other everyday. Of course, we had arguments twice….. but it was a misunderstanding! Slowly, he didn’t text me anymore, so i took the first step to text him, sending email to him and calling him……. he seemed to be very ‘cold’ to me…….. he changed so fast…….. Then I thought of breaking up with him since he made me to do this! I text him and said break up, he just asked me ‘Why’, and i told him ‘I don’t deserve you’……….. After an hour, I was so depressed and asked him ‘if i didn’t say break up, will he still want me?’ he told me yes………..i broke down and cried…………I wrote him an email telling him to start all over again, lets continue this relationship……..he told me ‘we better stay as ‘break’ rather than ruin our marriages’, he told me he felt guilt to his family……….. I vomitted a few times after that due to depressions and lost my appetite……….. he didn’t even say ‘sorry’ to me! What should I do? I feel like suicide, but i love my daughter………please help me…….. i couldn’t stop crying whenever i think of him……… eventhough we just together for 41 days ……….. its not easy to let him go………..

  • Guest3

    I have been dating a girl who is very young 7 yrs old frm me and from different race…she confessed her love to me and says badly need my care n so on…im now 27 and had never love anyone so sincere before and i took this chance to change myself n had gave her everything she needs…we broke up and it was quite long like about 10 months+…we still studying together and seeing each other everyday in class…she knws how capable im in guiding her in almost everything and she respects me a lot and recently i got to knw she is hanging around with a guy so clled her admirer…all the while i have been keeping my hope and waiting for her…what should i do,move on or sincerely wait for her…if she knows im waiting for her she would definitely take it for granted as she will feel of still getting my care…is there a hope in future i mean a chance for her to find me back as i know how much i had influenced and she always tells around im a very nice guy indeed but when i spoke to her the other day she told me she can't be with me even in future as the family won't agree with it,i knew it's just an excuse…she is now going around with her admirer and she told me she is just befriending him but the guy chasing after her badly and she does spare quite of her time with him…confuseddd…

  • Scott

    Hi all

    Well i been split with my ex now for 18 months. We have 2 wonderful children together. I still love her like we split yesterday, ive been on few dates during those 18 months but can never commit to anyone, what worrys me is will i ever meet anyone again. Im confident person and always have been but spliting with my ex has taken bit of that away from me. I think its sad that this long down the line and im still feeling this way, im not as bad as when we first split coz i was a mess back then, i can go about my normal day and be fine, its just sometimes i get thinking bout her and im unhapy again. We get on fine now, but ill be honest i still hope that we get back together, but i know it wont happen coz its not what she wants. We were together along time (9 years) and im 30 now and wonder how long will i feel like this.

  • nanu

    hey!

    i brokeup with my boyfriend.we had a 6 year long relationship but throughout this time he had some girlfriends …off and on in his life.and now am fed up with his lies n all that.i really love him but cant tolerate all this any more so we broke up…i need to forget him …really from the bottom of my heart…but it seems quite impossible for me as i have tried it so many times n i failed each time…but this tym i really want to move on n make my career n lyf but at the same tym m messed up with his memories…plz help me i wnat to b strong n throw his memories out of my heart as well as mind plz help me

  • joshua

    chandan you need to move on

  • chandan

    hi

    i am in love with a girl from the last 4 years before we were freinds for more than 2 years

    we were good freinds but cant be a happy couple

    we asuaul had a fight on little things. so we break before 2 years after a 1 year love realation in a bad fighting conditon.

    so were back on this december but the problem has not gone we fight as usaul before

    our thoughts was not matching

    so we broke again

    but the problem is that i cant live without her in my thoughts she was always 24*7

    i cannot concentrate on my work

    plz help

  • steve

    hey all,

    My ex and I were together for almost 2 years.During that two years my mom passed away suddenly leaving me with many responsibilities.I am also currently a full time student.I am 19.

    The relationship was great when it was good but alot of time was spent fighting and argueing over nonsence.That is when it was at its worst.We both began to have trust issues with eachother.I ended up becomming un faithfull to her but felt so guilty about it that i told her the truth.She chose to stay with me so that we tried to work it out and the cycly just repeated.

    Now once my mom passed away,my sister came out of the closet and then began to not like me for "reasons",so my sister is no longer really in my life.my parents divorced when i was in kindergarden and now my dad lives in PA.He is not really any help to me.

    So when all of this happend,I became dependent upon my girlfriend at the time.Out of the blue she says she wants to break up so she can be happy.The break up was 2 weeks ago.I live alone,I work alone.I have alot of time on my hands to sit here and just dwell on this.i keep trying to talk to her to fix the relationship and it just keeps getting harder and harder.I am pushing her away the more i try to fix it. I am GOING INSAIN INSIDE.I wish it would get better.I am failing in all areas of my life due to this break up.

  • Andy

    I broke up with her before some days and i love her so much

    I was imatture and jealous and that in am exaggerated way

    I love her and miss her and she said she needs time to see if

    It can really work out between us

    Do you think she will come back to me?

    Help

  • zahrin

    I have just broke up with my girl and have been together for the past 2years 9 months and going to 3 years. we stop loving because she have another guy, its so hard for me now 🙁 i hope she will be okey and take care mizah.

  • honey

    i loved dis guy.. he had a gal fren b4… but dey broke up n he came to m… no one in ma fren circle liked him.. but i loved him a lot… forgave all of his mistakes… i even went away frm ma frens for him….v wer together for a year n a half… he used to talk to a lot of gals… talk in da sense intimately… i din object much… but a week back i discovered dat he used to go to prostitutes in these one n a half yrs…. m completely broken.. i had loved him so much… i don knw wat to do.. i really don….

  • Kaizen

    You've been b*tchslapped enough without my having to add

    anything more. Not by a woman, but by the ego itself. In a

    sense, the key to relationships is to simply do the opposite

    of what the ego would have you doing.

    As a rule of thumb, the moment a woman pulls away from you

    for any reason, let her go immediately. By analogy, let the

    ocean waves come and go as they please, and don't try to

    cling to the waves nor try to stop or push them away.

    Similarly, when she comes towards you, open your arms to her

    and love her, and as soon as she pulls away from you, let

    her go and love her. It isn't wise to "push" nor

    "pull" a woman. It's best to simply enjoy the fact that

    she Exists.

    It can take an entire lifetime to really "get" this simple

    lesson. Once it really "clicks", the knowingness of when

    to break up or not reveals itself spontaneously and

    automatically, without the agony of guilt nor of having to

    weigh out all of the pros and cons and to think about these

    kinds of decisions endlessly. There is also no more losing

    sleep or appetite.

  • popi

    thing like that happen. we should all be prepared to face them in a brave way. If you keep on thinking about a lost relationship you will definitely kill your self. Life is short. Shorter than you may think…

  • abzaco

    dr.ron. Do you really expect us to feel sorry for you and your love triangle? Love is shared between 2 people not 3! No wonder things got complicated. It sounds like B really loves you and wants to be with you, but you'll never be happy with that, so best leave her alone and wish her the best. I suspect that if you stay with B, another A will come along and the cycle will repeat itself. This is a bad formula dr. and you better hope that you don't have that cheating gene in your blood. If you do, rid yourself of it quick because it causes too much pain for everyone involved.

  • dr.ron

    DEAR friends , though its kind of silliness to ask for help for this , i am posting this to get to know how you feel about it …

    anyways , i would like to tell you how weird and pathetic things had become …

    at school i was in love with A , she was my first love … she has been in my imagination since then … she was beautiful , very intelligent …

    while at medical school , again i fell in love with another girl B … for last 6 years i am with her … since last two years , i have been feeling that i had somehow lost the passion , sometimes i use to tell her … she would not believe … i never am that interested in her … but somehow i told that since we have been together , we should get married … though i am not very much in love with her , as we spend ( not live in … but being commited ) many years together , i would like to marry her … or it would be an injustice to her …

    THINGS TURNED IN SUCH A WAY THAT I MET MY LONG LOST GIRL A … AGAIN MY IMAGINATION SPARED I WAS SO HAPPY … I WANTED TO BE WITH HER … SHE TOO …

    but B would not accept that … she got so badly affected , her colleagues took her to hospital … i feared she would die …

    i never told A that i am in love and committed to B since i was really not having the passion of love with B … the commitment was a kind of moral responsibility …

    things became such that i had to talk to both at a time … my phone got constantly engaged … its kinda two timings … which i never wanted …

    i had no malice to anyone … i just wanted to make things easy … i wanted to be happy , but not at the cost of suffering to any …

    somehow A suspected that i had some commitment to B and she got badly hurt … she left me …

    now B is complaining that i do not love her … but she cant accept the fact …

    A has left me forever … i am really sad …

    B wants to be with me … i am not sure how happy would i be …

    i am trying to recover …

    the question i would have asked was what should i do now ???

    but its irrelevant since i have lost MY LOVE A …

  • ____

    Jenifer,

    Something similar happened with me.

    I guess im the only guy on this page.

    *Ms.A loved me deeply but was reluctant to confess,

    *And i actually had feelings for Ms.B-who was Ms.A’s best friend.

    *The day Ms.A wanted to ask me out; I went and told her how i feel for Ms.B, So she did not say a word about herself

    *Ms.B knew that Ms.A was falling for me, So when i did Ask her out- she lied to me that she was seeing someone else.

    I didnt know any thing about this until a week back. And now i feel like a complete idiot.

    Nothing but bad luck

  • Robby

    Me and my gf just broke up , well she left me. i just went threw a divorce and this was so hard to even open myself back up to anyone again. i truly cared and loved this girl more then i ever did my ex wife or any other person ive ever met. To sum it up and make it short, she had a nervous breakdown do to her being pregnent by another guy (happend before we got to gether), the stress from her job and parents, money, just everything in her life and she sold everything she had, quit her job and ran to TN. she told me she still loves me but isnt ready to be in a relationship right now and to leave her alone. Its… its hard to put on a happy face for my two little girls when i have them bc my oldest daughter (age 2) always asks wheres Holly or if my phone rings she asks "holly"?

  • jenifer

    that was my immaturity. but unintensionally i started getting frustrated n like stupid i started taking him as a wrong guy when he used to not behave as i expected although tht was hw he had always been. i broke up inspite of loving him till core. my parents were scared for marriage proposals coming for me will be affected because of my sister's divorse so they started pacing up. i was just 22. i got real paniced. i never wanted to land up into a divorse by doing such a arrange marriage , i proposed my frd , who liked me, by tht time i had no clue tht he was the reason for my breakup, i just wanted him to get someone he loved as i knew how painful it was to loose whom u love, we landed up into an affair in which i was just a dead man, i was always transparent with him n after a month of affair i met him n asked to breakup, as i loved my guy but wont return back to him bcoz he isnt a good person, out of frustration my friend tongue slipped out n he confeesed tht he tried his best to seprate my guy n him. i was shocked n dead. i realized every thing tht very moment, tht it was a bad set up. i travelled back to my guy. i told him evrything .but till then he was so hurt he could not accept me back again . he landed up into an affair with a girl 4 years younger to him . n tried dam hard to make her perfect when all friends asked him to forgive me. i tried hell to tell him how much i love him, but he left me all alone, its more than a year now , i am still not over it, i feel like commiting suicide , but i fear for my parents, how will they bear the 3rd pain in their life . plz help me, i cant figure out anything.

  • jenifer

    hey. i had a massive break up. we loved each other since 3 years . my best frd liked me . he took advantage of my trust n developed misunderstandings between the guy n me. my 2sisters were getting divorced after a year of marriage which shook me to the core. one had a love marriage n other arrange. i started doubting on my guy as he can turn out to be like my sisters husbands . tht w

  • Tess

    Marce and blank,

    Sad to say i am also in that boat of sorts.. Dated him for almost 3 years and we had a surprise baby a year back and we have broken up quite a few times in the past, call me foolish but i love him. But this time.. i just know i need to be done.. it feels impossible..it's the hardest thing i've ever had to do.. i still dont know how i'm going to do this.. it's so damn difficult with a baby between us… there's no way for a solid break..ever.. i just dont know how to move on when we still have to see eachother many times a week and i want to keep it civil but i'm so bitter and there's so much anger between us…our whole situation is quite fucked..excuse my french heh. I really just don't know how to do this but i'm not giving up.

  • Blank

    Marce,
    I know exactly how you feel. I am in the same situation. Im about to be 7months pregnant and things were fine up until a couple of weeks ago he says he doesnt want to be with anyone. Ive ask around to those close to me and they all say the same thing, to give him space and time because he’s probably scared of whats to come. i dont have any advice for you but you are not alone.

  • Marce,

    It is very common to have these feelings. I have wallowed in the post break up mess on many occasion. Now though, you have the health of yourself and your new baby to think about so you must pull yourself together and the sooner the better.

    Love does not have to hurt, but when it ends, it hurts a lot. I have ways of helping with the habitual and negative thinking. Visit my website and email or call me if I can help in any way.

    In the mean time, when you are thinking, think about the lesson you have learned from this situation–what it has taught you. When it gets to be too much, decide to stop running the tape.

    Take great care of yourself!

    Lisa

  • Jenny

    Hi Marce,

    I am sorry to hear your story. If he is doing this to you then he does not look like a good, responsible guy…

  • Marce

    I am having a very hard time overcoming my break up I recently lost my job and I’m 6 months pregnant I have alot of free time that I just lay around and think . It’s very hard to get over someone who you have to keep in contact with and see due to the baby . We broke up a month ago and he tells me he’s not ready to have me completely out of his life but at the same time he pushes me away saying we just don’t click and were not meant to be . I love him and have been trying to get back with him but so far have not achieved it i don’t know what to do or how to move on when he’s in my life forever ….