The issue of how soon you should be calling a girl after getting her phone number has been turned into a science by various dating gurus, many of whom make it sound much more complicated than it really is. Some suggest that you should call the girl you met as soon as possible, while the majority of sources of dating advice, which strongly advocate the notion of challenge, suggest that a guy should wait at least five days before calling a girl, to make her wonder and anticipate his call, and to make sure that he doesn’t come across as needy and/or desperate.
So, how soon should you call a girl after you met her for the first time and got her phone number?
My extensive personal experience and close observation of my students has revealed two things that I actually expected to be revealed:
Calling a girl soon after meeting her (a day or two after) is not going to be a turn-off and is not going to make you come across as needy and desperate. What makes a guy come across as unattractive is not when he calls but how he talks and what he says once on the phone.
Waiting for too long (4-5 days or longer) to call a girl might backfire and start things on the wrong foot. Be assured that the vast majority of girls are aware of these waiting strategies, they have read “The Rules” and they know all about the waiting game. As such, if they feel that you are trying to play the same game, they might start resenting the whole idea of talking to you or will lose interest altogether.
Just to give you an example from one of my online dating students’ recent experience: he was chatting with a girl online, got her phone number and wasn’t able to call her for about 5-6 days because he had to leave town on a business trip unexpectedly. He called her about a week after he got her phone number, and he only heard from her 10 days after he left her a message. When she finally called, he semi-jokingly commented: “Wow, that took while,” to which she responded “Well, you took a while to call, so a girl is gotta keep the balance.” Admittedly, that was a very immature response, governed by excessive pride, which didn’t take into account the possibility that the guy simply wasn’t able to call, but the bottom line remains the same – women are well familiar with dating and phone games, so there is no point in going there, as it will hardly do any good.
So, the next time you meet a girl and get her phone number. Wait a day or two and then call her. There is no reason to wait any longer if you are interested in talking to her, and you believe that the feeling is mutual.