Comments on: How to deal with a jealous boyfriend

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 09:47:35 +0000

I think you’re being a little naive. Maybe you’re on the other side of the relationship… The jealous side. It’s nice to have a different outlook on the situation however, it seems as if you haven’t experienced what the others are talking about, not to say your opinion isnt appreciated. I used to hear stories about these men and I’d always say “oh my god just leave them this is ridiculous.” now I know how it feels. What happens when you think you’ve met the perfect guy for you and everything is great until a year and a half later the jealously he’s spoken about in the past creeps up and begins to take over your relationship? It’s easy at first to try to just change your actions and make him feel secure and comfortable but that’s not good enough. Not for people with true jealousy problems. These are problems they can’t control and they don’t understand where it comes from necessarily. How long should we go changing our lives to accommodate his insecurities? That’s detrimental to any relationship it causes one partner to begin to hold back the person they really are. And in my case this is now happening after a year of bliss and wanting to marry him (which is a huge deal for me considering I have commitment phobia). Now what? I just can’t put up with it anymore. But I can’t let go of all the other parts of us that used to be so good. This jealousy has caused me to be angry and frustatted which I’m also learning through his bahavior. This is a terrible terrible illness which is possibly a large part of my relapse into the feeling of being trapped which is tied to my commitment phobia. He needs to fix this if he wants the relationship to work.

By: anon

anon — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 20:06:49 +0000

Maybe people shouldn’t do things to make their partner jealous. It’s like Dr. Phil said, “Don’t do things that you wouldn’t do in front of your loved one.” Well I say, “don’t do things that you couldn’t do in front of God.” If people would be more considerate of their loved ones and not do things they know they don’t need to do or things they know would hurt their loved ones feelings then maybe relationships would last much longer. Instead everyone cries and cries and cries for privacy. Well the only person you should have privacy with is your loved one. If you have privacy from that person, then you’re being deceptive to the one person you shouldn’t be.
Final thought, if you cry about being controlled, maybe you should look at the things you do to make that loved one feel the insecurity and jealousy.
And btw, it’s not controlling for them to ask to know things. It’s only controlling when they try to tell you what you can and cannot do. And if you’re too stubborn and want to do those things even though it hurts your loved ones feelings, then leave them, because they’re stupid for being with someone so inconsiderate to their feelings.

By: Liz

Liz — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 07:50:41 +0000

It is nice to know I am not the only one… I love my boyfriend to death and we;ve been together for a long time but from the start ive seen his jealousy and tried to ignore it wishing it would go away, then i called him out on it too and he got very defensive. his exes cheated on him. he thinks im the perfect one for him and he feels he has to do everything to prevent any possible scenario of another guy liking me …i was a very independant girl before i met him. and i want to keep it that way.. he cut me off from my guy friends, forbid me to talk to some people and tries to control my actions and where i go and i can only go out if its with him. he says i cant go out with my friends to clubs or bars (even for birthdays or innocent gatherings) because other guys will look at me.. I would NEVER cheat on him, and i reassure him of that all the time, he claims he trusts me and wont admit his problem. I dont want to leave him i feel like i wont find that sort of love with any one else. we are VERY happy most of the time. except when these irrational things come up= no idea where they come from!! Jealousy really is the poison to a relationship!!!

By: evelyn

evelyn — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 09:18:39 +0000

Hi,reading these comments has made me realize I’m not d only one with this problem. I love my boyfriend so much but makes it hard to be with him. I can’t be without him either cos I’ve tried n I could not bear being without him. I’m always home n each time I go out, he asks me so many questions. I don’t even have friends anymore. He has even been violent to me but I’m still with him. I always find myself thinking about everything before telling him cos I’m trying to avoid a fight. I really love him and I wish he’d change. Right now, I’m praying for the strength to either leave him or be with him. Someone please help me handle sunday!!!!!!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 05:14:10 +0000

I’m also having same problem right now, my bf is very jealous guy I did everything for him and even gave him another chance one twice and every chances I forgive him..God KNOWS how much I love hIm till now but being jealous is not a thing to be tolerated, hes accusing me things I didn’t do even making up words that it really happen..I also caught him talking with girls and telling that I fooled him but it wasn’t really true..even he uses my facebook account to make me look mesirable..he violently torturing me on his words..I wanna help him but I don’t know how, I already make him feel very special even abandoned my family just for him..I don’t know now..

By: jess

jess — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 03:00:39 +0000

Jealousy is the single most poisonous thing to any relationship.

By: mariska

mariska — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 16:48:43 +0000

Can anyone help me plz.I have a jealousy boyfriend he fight with me over small thing almost everyday.I do love him but I can’t go on like it he say 2 me who I can speak 2 and who not.my sister have a boyfriend and he stay with us and he is very jealous about him he say 2 me that I like 2 look at him and the guy isn’t my tipe.I don’t know what 2 do bec I was cheated on before with my X’s and my boyfriend what I have now he thinks I will cheat on him and I won’t ever bec it was done 2 me.how can I assure him that he don’t need 2 be jealous and controlling.

By: Breanna

Breanna — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 19:59:32 +0000

I need help too my bf is a very jealous person and we fight daily but I love him and not sure if its worth the tears , fighting , ect…

By: nene

nene — Sun, 03 Jul 2011 19:36:55 +0000

Hi i just need a little help. things are good between me and my fiance 87% of the time. the other time things are very bad . he admits he is jealous but i feel he needs to do something about it. i have been open with him since day one. i have a guy friend that to me is more of a girl friend we only talk when i need relationship advice. one day we saw him in a store and i reached my hand out to shake his had but he gave me a hug. now we get home and my fiance ask me why i hugged him did i want to and im like i was gone shake his hand until he hugged me and i didnt think you had no problem with it then he asks me was i ok with it the type of person i am if its a guy that is not my man it is going to feel a little awkward for me to hug them and i told him it was awkward and now he talking bout im lying i like him and i wasnt gone say it was awkward until i realized he wasnt ok with it but he gone say i know him he is a guy that likes girls and you hugged him you dont hug yo other girl friends and i told him you dont be with me every minute of the day you dont know what i do im just pissed right now i put all my hard work and time in this relationship and he wanna act like this how do i get through this we are not talking right now

By: lost

lost — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 19:57:57 +0000

Sarah I really have no right to tell you what you should do since I am in the same situation but all I can say is we have to make a choice. Do we want our lives that we had back or do we want to be with them. They won’t let us have both so we will have to make the choice. It is a hard one and I still haven’t decided yet myself. I guess the real question is are they worth giving all that up for? Also followed by the question …. would they give all that up for you? Along with …. If someone truly loves you would they want to take that away from you? Once I figure out the answers to those questions I think I will know what I need to do. For now I am just hanging in there….