Jun 19 2009
How to flirt with women!
The concept of “flirting” receives a lot of attention in the world of dating and seduction advice. Surely, no one disputes the fact that flirting is an essential component of building attraction and taking your interaction with a woman to the physical, intimate level and avoiding the frustrating friends zone situation. However, few, if any, sources of dating advice bother to define what “flirting” really means and exactly how to flirt in order to meet and attract women.
The concept of flirting is not hard to grasp but understanding what flirting actually means is essential to your ability to do just that – to flirt with women.
So, what is flirting and how to flirt with women and not just talk to them like you would with any other person who you are not interested in romantically? The most important fact you must realize and remember about flirting is that what distinguishes it from an ordinary, plain conversation is not what you talk about with a woman but how you talk. Indeed, you can flirt with a woman while talking just about anything! The subject matter of your conversation is not important at all! You can flirt with a woman while talking about anything from pop culture, movies and books, to math, astronomy or next life. What makes your conversation flirting is your demeanor, your behavior, voice and the overtone of your conversation. Playful attitude, relaxed posture where your express your feeling of physical comfort with the woman, your physical proximity to a woman while talking to her, your body language, teasing, joking, being sarcastic while maintaining a prolonged eye contact and giving a woman an occasional smirk is what turns a plain conversation into flirting.
In order to even better understand the difference between regular conversation and flirting, let’s think about how the completely opposite, flirt-free interaction between people is different from that conversation in which two people flirt - I am talking about a job interview. First and foremost, your body language will be radically different at a job interview. You will be sitting straight up and will make sure not to make an impression that you are too comfortable because that might come across as arrogance to your prospective employer. You will also be sitting at a greater distance from the person who interviews you than you would when you talk to a woman. For obvious reasons your conversation will be teasing and sarcasm-free, and the humor in that conversation will not go far beyond one or two very innocent, plain and commonly accepted remarks. Certainly, your face during that kind of formal meeting must be free of any smirks that would suggest that you are enjoying yourself too much and that you are feeling very comfortable and confident in what is going on. On the other hand, when you are on a date, being stiff and excessively formal might just be the biggest turn-off to a woman, who will in most cases perceive this as lack of “chemistry.”
Keeping the above differences in mind between plain, formal conversation and flirting will surely help you become better at flirting and attracting women, because once you know what flirting means, you should be able to consciously improve your flirting skills, which is a relatively easy but also a very enjoyable venture. And remember, flirting is first and foremost in how you act and what you do and say.
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3 responses so far
Hello Arkady.
I have read a lot of books about seduction, and a lot of dating advices from the net.
Now I have an idea about how the first stage of interaction with a woman should be. I would like to know if you agree.
In the first stage of the interaction a man should establish comfort with the girl: he should be confident, funny, a little interested, but he shouldn’t be too much flirtarious, he should be sociable as a friend, a friend with only a little amount of flirting vibe.
Do you agree?
Now I would like to know if you agree with the following sentence too:
the more solid is the barrier the girl has about us and the more she hates to be approached (maybe she is snob), the less flirtarious should the first stage be.
In general: what’is, in your opinion, the grade of sexual interest a man should show at the beginning? Surely it depends on the girl. But usually?
Hey, there.
The key words is “depends on a woman.” There is just no rule as some women like guys who take charge and are flattered by aggression while others prefer a slower and a more subtle approach. There are just so many factors that determine this. From a woman’s age to her character, personality, past experience with men, her own confidence, where she is in life, how attracted she is physically to the guy and many other factors. The key is recognizing what kind of woman you are dealing with and acting accordingly.
Thanks for your immediate reply
Yes, probably confidence and avoiding the “lets just be friends” behaviours are the only stable positive things.
I am searching for a special formula that is impossible to find. You are right: there are a lot of variables.
The reason why I wish I find this formula is that I wouldn’t like to complete my study about seduction with the same statement I have started with:
“Women, attraction and love are impossible to understand.”