If you have read / listened to any dating advice available on the market, you must be already familiar with the idea that a man’s body language is very important and in fact – much more important than the words he uses when it comes to meeting, flirting with and attracting women.
1. Why Your Body Language is So Important to Attracting Women
Indeed, our body language – the way we move, sit and stand when we interact with others communicates to people many things about who we are without any words. Why wonder, though? Just look at how you yourself make judgments about the people around you based on their body language and without ever meeting them. The next time you are out, just look at any man or woman, and observe their behavior for a few moments. You will see that you can’t help but start assuming certain things about them and about who they are – are they happy or sad, arrogant or humble, down to earth or snobbish, shy or outgoing, confident or insecure, happy or not so happy, energetic or apathetic and indifferent looking? Whether your assumptions are correct or not is a different question, you form these opinions without ever exchanging so much as one word with those people.
When a woman sees a guy, she unconsciously makes similar assumptions . These assumptions in large determine whether she will be attracted to the guy or not, at least initially. Does he come across as confident or as insecure, happy or depressed, ambitious or indifferent? Much of this is in his body language. Therefore, the impression you make on a woman with your body language is very important to creating attraction between the two of you. If your body language is not there, she will likely not even be interested in hearing what you have to say, unless you can break through that barrier with a very interesting conversation. After all, if the guy drags his feet like someone who is down on himself or like a loser, why would she want to hear what he has to say? If he is sitting near her and being jerky and fidgety, why should she want to see him again, if he makes her feel restless with his own behavior.
2. The Wrong Way to Try Improving Your Body Language
It is unfortunate, however, that most, if not all, dating advice sources suggest that the right way to improve a man’s body language and make it attractive is by doing just that – working on your body language and making you move differently. The reason that this approach usually proves ineffective is twofold. First, our body language is a natural extension of who we are and how we feel about ourselves. Acting a certain way when you don’t feel that way is necessarily going to come across as fake and is going to make your body language look even worse than when the way it naturally is. Secondly, it’s impossible to “fake” it for prolonged periods of time. You simply can’t think about how you move all the time. Thus, as soon as you stop keeping your body language in mind, you will naturally go to your old habits of carrying yourself the way you are used to.
3. The Right Way to Improve Your Body Language
Like in virtually all other aspects of life, however, it’s a much better idea to treat the cause of the problem rather than its symptoms and manifestations. Therefore, a much more effective way of going about improving your body language is changing those aspects of your life that directly affect your body language. If you are shy or insecure or lack that masculine energy in your body language that women find so attractive, you should work on building those parts of your life and then – your body language will change naturally as a result thereof.
One effective way to raise your level of confidence and self esteem is to have some kind of meaningful growth – some kind of progress in your life. It doesn’t really matter what field you are growing and developing yourself in as long as that growth is substantial and meaningful to you. Setting small, achievable goals every day and reaching them will make you feel like you grow. Whether it’s pushing extra 10 lbs on a bench press, or learning a few new dance moves at a dance class, or finishing reading or writing an essay, or learning a few new expressions in a foreign language, learning how to play a musical instrument, or getting that new job or promotion – any growth, any progress will make you feel better about yourself. Consequently, it will necessarily have a positive effect on your body language and how you generally carry yourself when you are out and about.
So, start improving your body language the natural way by working on becoming better, wiser, and stronger in as many parts of your life as possible, and your body language might just take care of itself and it will be a natural extension of how you feel about yourself once you start accomplishing a wide range of your own personal goals.
Thank you very much for all the advice…Can you please suggest how should one deal with an ex if they are living and working in a same place??
Hello, Asif. That's a very good question. I guess it comes more into play at a smaller workplace where you are forced to see each other all the time or even worse- where you are close co-workers or where one of you report to the other. I am really not sure what to say except that this risk has to be taken into account before you start dating someone at work. I guess if switching jobs and finding another place to work is not a big deal for you, then it's worth taking a risk and getting involved with a woman, especially if you find her special enough and worth taking a risk over. Otherwise, you should think twice before getting involved.