Too many people sabotage their dating life and their romantic relationships because their thoughts and actions in a relationship are paralyzed by their fear of loss. They treat their relationship like some kind of precious, gentle stone that must be preserved and protected at any cost, and many of their actions in a relationship are governed by that fear of losing that dating / relationship partner.
If you are one of those people who is really afraid that your partner will leave you, cheat on you, stop loving you, break up with you or otherwise slip away, you should be aware of one very important truth: Your fear is both pointless and harmful!
See, there is no point in worrying about things that are NOT in your control. It so happens that there is no insurance policy against breaking up and losing your loved one. People break up and divorce after 10 or more years of being together, so it’s important to realize and accept that that risk is always there.
Fear of loss is very similar to jealousy in that it suffocates the other person, so to speak. It makes him / her that tremendous pressure of being the most important thing in your life and being the “gauge” of your happiness. Ironically, then, the more afraid you are to lose your lover, the more your actions will push him / her away from you.
It is important, therefore, to liberate yourself of this fear if you want to enjoy a good relationship and be a good partner. Here are a few steps that you can and you should take in order to abandon this fear once and for all:
1. Realize and remember that your partner’s actions in the future are OUT of your hands. They don’t depend on you and therefore you should not feel responsible for them. Accept the fact that it’s possible that he / she will leave one day and that it’s just one, by far not the biggest risk in life.
2. Make sure that you do your part by doing what depends on you – being the best partner you can be!
3. Realize that even if you lose that very special person in your life, it’s not going to be the end of the world. You will survive that loss and will move forward. There is life out there after your partner leaves you, whether you are able to believe it today or not. This doesn’t mean that you should prepare yourself for your relationship to be over, but it’s a good idea to be realistic and simply know that it’s always a possibility.
So, stop being afraid to lose your partner, make the most out of the relationship you have right now and leave the rest to other powers that have nothing to do with you, such as your partners character, emotions and commitment to you.