Most dating advice programs and books for men discuss women’s tests in one form or another, and for a good reason. These tests usually involve women’s behaviors or statements that push a guy in a certain direction and test his response to see if he is confident enough and strong enough to handle it the right way. For instance, a woman might say as early as on a first date “You are mean” at a certain point in a conversation to see if a guy would bend, beg for forgiveness and would promise to never do whatever he did that brought about the woman’s complaint, or whether he would tease her about it and treat her like a crying baby, if appropriate. Or, a girl might talk very highly about her ex, which is also an unconscious test to see whether the guy she is with would get jealous or will play it cool and would not be bothered by that.
Many guys wonder throughout their dating journey about how to respond to women’s “tests.” Many dating advice sources out there discuss different ways of passing those “tests” – from firing back at woman and being super mean to her, to ignoring them altogether or using “cocky funny” strategies. Unfortunately, the problem with most dating advice about women’s tests is that it breeds certain hostility in men towards women, and it directs guys to treat women as if they were some kind of enemy or a rival that needs to be tricked, beaten and conquered (not necessarily in that order).
I wish to assure you that you will achieve no positive result in any area of dating, if your behavior and interactions with women are motivated by anger, competitiveness, rivalry and desire to win the battle of egos with women. And dealing with tests is not an exception to this rule. Hating every now and then can be entertaining and even comforting, but when it comes to women’s tests it will contribute nothing to your ability to pass those tests and make your response work to your advantage, as you should.
There is a much better, healthier, and a more effective way to accept and deal with women’s tests: you should appreciate them and feel lucky that they exist! Why? Because these tests are an excellent opportunity for you to show your confidence and your other attractive qualities to women, such as sense of humor, without doing much – all you will do is simply respond to a woman’s tests in an original and witty way.
Thus, the next time a woman, who you just started seeing and who seems to like you, tells you that she is going out on a date with this guy she just met, don’t be one of those jealous, insecure guys who would freak out and would start interrogating her about who that guy is, why she is going out with him and whether she likes him more or less than you. Instead, encourage her to go out and have fun with that guy. Go even further and put yourself down by saying playfully something like “Perhaps you will be lucky and he will be a real man and not like me. Let me know if I can take some lessons from him.” This will communicate beyond any doubt and in the most compelling way your confidence and your lack of regard for competition from other men – qualities that are very attractive to those women who are worth your time and attention.
Also, appreciate the honesty of a woman who is interested in you and yet she is putting her interaction with you at risk by being so open and honest with you and telling you the truth about going out with that other guy and actually liking certain things about him at one point. How many of us, guys, would do the same? Needless to say – not many.
Here are some other useful examples of simple responses to women’s tests, through which you can show your confidence and sense of humor with the girl who you already established some connection with:
- What’s the last time your had sex? Answer: this morning, but it wasn’t that great. Last night’s girl was much better.
– How long have you been single? Answer: I am actually married, but I am looking for a girlfriend… or two.
– What do you value? Answer: money, image, labels. I am what a driver.
– What kind of women do you like? Answer: Fake, superficial and dramatic.
These seemingly absurd responses will likely get a good laugh out of a girl who is smart, who is not uptight, and who generally gets it. And, this is one of the better way to amplify your flirting, especially at the early stages, such as your first date.
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These are pretty light tests, which in my opinion are more like teasing. Here is an hard example. Two years ago my best friend was 6 months with a VERY attractive girl, first month in a regular, and other 5 in a (300 miles) long distance relationship where their interaction was only with skype and facebook. She was studying in another country and came back only for summer vacations and holidays. When she came back for Christmas she broke up with him "because their relationship was not functional." He had not expected that. But he accepted without emotion "like a real pro" in front of her. But when he came back to me and our friends he was heartbroken, very sad, because he was waiting SO LONG for nothing and he could not recover for months and still continues to mention her.
And now comes the best part!!!
Several months after he met and talked with one of Her girl friends and she told him that She actually did not want to brake up with him and that She was TESTING him to see how will he react. Basically she wanted to see him CRY in front of her! And is he PASSIONATE enough?? She wanted to be chased by him and she expected that he will call her. And because he did not react very emotional and he did not call her after that she was very disappointed and she concluded that "he is NOT worth it…"
What do you think about that A?????
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practicalh Reply:
January 31st, 2013 at 2:40 am
@yudzin
Wow, talk about heavy tests. It would be useful to know what she said exactly. If she said something along the lines of "We are done" or "I don't want to see you anymore" then he did everything right, and if she meant that to be a test, then she needs to adjust her twisted ways of testing men.
If, on the other hand, she simply pointed out a few things that she didn't like about their relationship and wanted reassurance from him that it can be worked out, then he took a line that's too tough. A woman sometimes (or maybe more often than that) does need reassurance. She wants to feel needed, loved and desired. Because guys have been brainwashed so much for so long to be a challenge, they often take it way too far, and as a result – both sides end up paying for it unnecessarily.
[Reply]
yudzin Reply:
February 1st, 2013 at 9:11 pm
She was very moody and didn't want to kiss. She said that it is hard for her to have a (long distance) relationship like that. She said: "Maybe you might want to have another girlfriend? Maybe I wanted to find there another boyfriend… I think that it's the best to stop this for both…"
He agreed and said that it is difficult to have such a relationship (again without emotion “like a real pro” in front of her). And said: "Say hello if you see me, do not feel unpleasantly. I won't feel unpleasantly." Eww it is difficult to translate this from Serbian to English because we use a lot of slang…
It is important to say that he was not satisfied with such a relationship and he needed reassurance more than her. He felt DISGUSTED with skype and facebook but he endured it all just for her for 5 months. He could be checked "what is he doing" by her girlfriends but nobody could check her abroad…
He didn't want to be a challenge. He and we, thought this looks like a normal way to break up. BUT "nobody" couldn't suspect, even in the worst dreams, that this was a TEST!!! Not him, nor me, nor all your (guy) friends! When we found out, we were so shocked and we concluded that we still don't know a shit about women…
Yes, woman want to feel needed, loved and desired, but we want that to. I never wanted to be a challenge. I just don't want to chase someone who is not interested. And I DEFINITELY don't want to play games like this!!! If I wanted to play, I certainly would not have chosen this kind of game…Call of duty, maybe! Hahaha
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The more confident the girl is, the more tests you’ll encounter. Many girls openly criticizing me early in the approach about my physical flaws or chosen line of conversation. Not only will they constantly judge you, but they will do so in undiplomatic terms. About women approaching 30… Their attitude is rougher, they play a lot of games, and they constantly test you. At an age where they should have a softer vibe in the hopes of competing against their younger counterparts, they can be a pain in the ass to deal with.
What do you think, what is the best way to Isolate “the special girl” away from her group/friends??? Especially when it came to getting cockblocked or bitched out by her unattractive girl-friend.
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