Women pride themselves on being picky when it comes to meeting guys, be it in the real world or in the online dating arena. Being picky is a good idea as, he (or she) who has standards, will most likely get better results. A typical woman who is interested in meeting a guy on a matchmaking site expects a guy to write a thoughtful, original message that will compel her to look at his profile and write back. I was really surprised, however, to find out that when women initiate a contact, their first message is almost always devoid of any effort to attract the guy’s attention.
I have reviewed over fifty of the women’s initial e-mails to guys, and the vast majority of them were one-liners, such as “Hey, how are you doing?” and that’s about it. It is very hard to respond to that kind of a plain, generic message that screams “I didn’t care enough to read your profile and I have nothing interesting to say.” If you believe that you are intelligent and articulate and you can do better than “how are you doing?” when contacting a guy online – you should let some of that creativity out. Quality men are as picky as quality women and even pickier, so it is worth writing a guy a note that makes him think: “Wow, she sounds like unlike most others; not only isn’t she waiting around to be contacted first, but she sounds like an interesting woman – a rare kind that is worth talking to and possibly pursuing a connection with.”
It takes some effort to sign up for one or more of the dating sites, write a profile, find the right photos, etc… So, make sure that you make that these efforts are not in vain. Communicate through your initial message to a guy what you want him to think of you – that you are not “run of the mill” and that you know how to set yourself apart right away.
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