In these times, when women are bombarded and overwhelmed with countless Facebook, Instagram and text messages from friends and guys, it is more important than ever to stand out from the rest of the guys. Here are six simple, yet effective things you can do to show a higher status and higher value when meeting and talking to girls:
1. Don’t Buy Her a Drink
The other day I witnessed an interested interaction at a bar. A guy is asking a girl whether he could buy her a drink. She says: “Do you really want to buy me a drink, or do you want to talk to me?” This kind bluntness was a bit shocking and refreshing to me and especially to the guy she was talking to. He then admitted of course that he wanted to meet her. And then she said that she doesn’t want a drink but he is welcome to sit down to talk to her.
If you want to talk to a girl at a bar/club, there is no reason for you to by her a drink in order to start a conversation. In fact, doing creates the wrong dynamics between you and her from the very beginning. Paying a girl in order to talk to her is a low status and low value behavior. If you start talking to her and things go well, and you decide to order a drink for yourself, then you can ask her a matter of common courtesy whether you could get her anything.
2. Don’t Be Drunk When Talking to Her
A guy who can barely stand on his feet and who seems to be in a daze projects low status. On the other hand, if you are sober or almost sober in a place where most people seem to be intoxicated, you will stand out from the rest as someone who the girl can actually talk to.
3. Don’t Linger Around for Too Long
There is no need for you to talk to her all night at a bar, neglecting the people you came with and forcing her to neglect her friends, unless your only goal is to try to score that very night. Otherwise, you are much better off talking to her for up to 30 minutes, but no longer, getting her contact information, politely excusing yourself and moving on with your evening.
4. Don’t Become Her Facebook Friend and Don’t Give Out Your Number
As you are about to exit, you tell her that you enjoyed meeting and talking to her and you ask her for her contact information. Don’t settle for her Facebook info and don’t give out your number. This is because you don’t want to become one of her thousand Facebook friends and because women pretty much never call the guy first.
If she asks you whether you are on Facebook, say “Why?” If she tell you “How about you give me your number instead?” Tell her that you are a little old school like that and you believe that a man should be calling the lady. If she says that she doesn’t give out her contact information to strangers, smirk, say “it’s too bad” and move on. If she offers you her e-mail address, consider taking it, depending on the situation.
5. Don’t Send Lame Probing Texting Messages After You Met Her In Person
There is absolutely no need to send lame, weak, text messages that say nothing interesting or funny and which add nothing to her idea of who you are. If you don’t have anything worth reading to text, then don’t. You can’t hurt yourself by being silent when it comes to texting, but you can hurt yourself by sending messages that suggest that either you are bored, or that you think she has nothing better to do.
6. Don’t Allow Anyone to Put You on Standby
You call the girl on Monday to ask her to go out on Thursday evening. She then says “How about you call/text me on Thursday afternoon, and I will let you know if I am available.” You should never agree to that – you should never agree to put your life and your schedule on hold pending her plans. Your response should be: “I would really need to know by Wednesday noon if you are available on Thursday. Can you let me know by then?” If she is unable to do that, then you can suggest meeting on another day. If she says that she never knows if she is available till the same day, no matter when you decide to go out, then you should not be scheduling anything with her. Either she is not interested and is just trying to blow you off or she has serious time management issue. In any event, she is not the one you should be asking out.
And if she turn on you and says “What’s wrong? Can’t you be spontaneous?” , then you can say: “If not being able to make a plans to meet two days in advance means not being spontaneous, then I would rather be boring and predictable.”
When you show higher status and higher value, you necessarily come across as a more confident guy – the kind of guy who knows where he is headed, and just as importantly – someone who knows what and who he wishes to avoid. This is not about playing mind games with women. This is just about making sure that your time and emotions are taken into account and respected.