It is not a secret to anyone who has ever truly fallen in love that moving on after losing that special person is particularly difficult. The loss is more painful, and it takes longer to get over it in part because we consciously or subconsciously harbor hope that somehow we will be able to get back together. Sometimes, we don’t realize how much we love our partner till we break up.
In most cases, this hope of getting your loved one back is futile. There is a reason why someone left you, and it’s probably not because you asked for your partner to break up with you. Thus, asking someone to return or trying to convince him/her that you are actually right for each other will rarely result in the two of you getting back together. On the other hand, if you feel that you are truly, truly in love with each other, and that your break-up was a result of an impulse, a moment of weakness that brought about an unusually ugly confrontation or a fight, etc., it might be worth trying to make up and get back together, learning from your past mistakes and making sure that you avoid such conflicts in the future. Here are a few things that you should and you should not be doing when you are trying to get back with your loved one:
1. Make sure that enough time passes so that whatever anger and resentment has been built up between the two of you due to the recent break up is gone. Making a contact too soon is pointless and is a sure way to get into yet another argument thereby reducing your chances even further to get back together.
2. When you contact your ex, make sure that you don’t start your conversation by begging to get back together. On the contrary – keep your conversation light and casual. Act and talk like you have no agenda at first, and see if your contact is even welcome before you consider bringing up the past and talking about your possible present and future together.
3. Be ready to hear a “no” and finally move on. At a certain point, you must accept that you will have to move on with your life and respect your former partner’s desire to not see you anymore. Remember – it takes two to “tango,” and if one of you doesn’t want to “dance,” it’s not going to work. If you have to move on, the article on overcoming a painful break-up will be helpful to you.
Statistically, most couples who get back together eventually break up again anyway, but if you really love someone, this should not deter you from trying to restore your relationship. It would be of great help to your relationship, if both of you looked back at the problems that lead to your break-up in a rational, civil manner, without arguing or blaming each other for what happened, and figured out how you can avoid the same obstacles in the future. One of the first important steps is admitting to each other of your own mistakes and genuinely and open-heartedly apologizing.
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im having a bad relationship with my bf. He kept on saying “lets break up” everytime we fight. What should i do? Im afraid of losing him & he wants me to leave him D:
hi,
am suffering a very bad break up.he was my first love and we dated for 10 yrs and have a baby girl of two years.am so hurt i dnt know where to begin with.am in so much pain,please help
hi !
Help, I dont understand from my ex !
8 months ago , i breaked up with him because he was always having excuses ,he was too busy… i realized i did a big mistake to leave him for a stupid reason , i tried to get him back but it hurted him so much …he’s just to proud !
One day he said ,that we could always return back together and just randomly , he started insulting me ,saying i was to possissive , that he dont love me anymore. I just stopped talking to him, i erased his phone number, facebook , every thing…
2 month later , he has contacted me…he asked me if i had a boyfriend, he gave me his new phone number, he told me that i was very beautiful , he wanted to see me and talk to me to the phone… i was wondering if it was only for sex , so i test him : when i went to see him , i told him that i needed to sleep somewhere and my friend was’nt at home otherwise, i had to leave . he did’nt want me to leave but he havent asked me to sleep with him he was even not flurting with me.
when i returned at home , i finaly decided to ask him by SMS what he trully wants … he texted me that he did’ nt want me anymore , i was to proud to express my feelings so i answered him that i did not care anyways… than he started insulting me !
i even send him a message i appologised after that , i wanted to see him again , i had NO answer
so i deleted him from my fb, his phone number AGAIN.
3 months later , at the valentine’s day , he asked from me ,he wanted me to whrite him back , and i did … than he added me from his fb , HIS cousin also …
his cousin told me what happened with him …
one day , i was online , my ex talk to me first ,asked me again if i had a boyfriend , he asked for my family , school…he seemed interested but neutral at the same time…
recently , i sended him a message .Still no answer …
i just dont understand !
He’s very proud, shcool is every thing for him before girls , he’s smart but dont have a lot of experiences with girls , he’s in another city (2h), he’s very relax and take easy every thing and he’s a very good guy .
Hi!
I am a gay man of 27 years old.I have been living with my boyfriend for the last 5 years.We started the relationship on a rocky start and recently he went to France and I went to UK as I wanted to visit my relative.I just discovered that he has been chatting to a guy there and he met him.He told me that he has feelings and I even saw pictures that really hurts as he is the type of person who is not open as a gay man .On discussing the matter with me he told me that he still love me and he doesnt want to live me but he has feelings for both of us.I am so confused and I am losing weight badly and I am not able to feed myself.I decided to take things seriously with a positive mind set about staying his best friend but it hearts me very badly.
P:S in our relationship I was violent and abusive.I am ready to make a change in my behaviours but he wouldn’t allow me to show him that.
Well i must admit that he is such a great person .He does have a character but what he says and does is always true and I know that though we are in circumstances like that he always support me.I lost my love but i still have his friendship.I just hope that one day he will be mine again.I truely believe he is the one I die and end my days with….
hi
this is a true love story
i am in love with a girl of 19 and recently we broke up due some problems like a friend of mine has gave a wrong information about me that i had so many girl friends and some how i solved that problem but with in a week i got onother problem and i scolded her 2much using abuse language but she suddenly stoped talking with me she erased me in her facebook and orkut and she changed her mobile no at last i talked to her was she came 2 me and cried that i cheated her and now she is not talking with me even though i say sorry to her. recently i talked with her friend she said that she cant b happy with me in future. i donno what to do i love her so much but she is not willing to talk with me how can i get her once again plsss plss tell me
Me nad my ex fiance broke up a few months ago. We had been together for almost 2 years. We have a 1 year old together. I am really heartbroken. I argued with him a lot, but we were best friends and lovers and parents. HE is my soulmate and only love. I feel so alone without him. I feel so used. He only heard me say if he doesn straighten up I will leave him and went out and found him a friend that was a girl. When he called it off between us, he started dating her. I still love him so much and want him back. We are still friends and every once in a while share a “intamate” moment. HE doesnt want me to tell anyone. I want him back, he tells me to give it a few months and he will come back to me if this new girl and him doesnt work out. What do I do? I am in love with him. I love himand miss him. I know he is my soulmate and need him back. How do I make this work?