Anyone who remembers his first love would probably agree that losing your first love is one of the most traumatic, painful emotional experiences of a person’s younghood. When our very first love is not reciprocated or when it abandons us, we truly feel crashed and our world collapses. That perfect world that we thought we had with that perfect person who we were crazy about all of a sudden became not as stable and as eternal as we first thought. After all, every man and a woman tend to believe that that first person who they fall for is that one-of-a-kind special partner that will spend a lifetime with them. When these hopes are shattered by the common reality of losing first love, we feel betrayed, powerless, and above all – angry; we believe that there has to be something we could do to fix the situation, to bring that person back into our life and to resolve any differences that caused the break-up. Usually, however, our attempts to bring our first “ex” back only have the reverse effect – they distance our first romantic partner even further from us and make the break-up hurt even more. As in most other situation, you cannot impose yourself upon someone who doesn’t want to be with you, and the harder you try the more undesirable you will become.
It hurts losing your first love and most people would agree that the first break-up is the hardest one. It is unbearable to be without your first lover, look at the photos of the two of you, think about all the things you have done together and plan to do together. But hey, you have to move on. Overcoming such painful experiences is almost inevitable, and it is your duty to yourself to handle a break-up the right way.
So, what can you do to aleviete that pain, if you are at the stage of having the bitter taste of losing love for the first time in your life?
First and foremost, you have to realize that no matter how bad and how unique your pain is, it is what everyone feels and experiences when in your shoes. And guess what – the vast majority of people do not settle and spend their whole life with their first love. Every young boy and girl cry, reminiscing on the great times that they had with their first beloved, the looks they got and gave to each other, their magic nights, all the places they went together and all the things they did together and have in common. No matter how special and unique you believe your situation is and no matter how one-of-a-kind you think your love is, I have to tell you that you are not the first person who feels that way, so you must remember that what you feel is not uncommon for a person in your situation, and it can be successfully dealt with, and you will deal with it and will eventualy overcome it and will move on.
Secondly, if that other person initiated a break-up, you must stop trying to get him/her back. During my work with people of different ages and dating backgrounds, I haven’t yet seen one person return to anyone as a result of being convinced by the one they broke up with to come back. You should realize that if a person made a decision to leave you, then he/she has their own reasons for it that might even be beyond your ability to relate or change. Anything you do to bring that person back into your life will only make you more unattractive and even repelling to him/her.
Thirdly, you should know that there is no shortcut or a quick trick that will allow you to get over your pain. Getting over first love takes time! A certain amount of time must elapse before the pain begins going away. It might take anywhere from several weeks to several months before you feel any relief. By keeping youself busy and interested in other people socially and romantically, you will help the healing process dramatically. It is also very important that you remember that what you feel is normal. It’s an emotion. An emotion of love and romantic interest takes time to develop and it takes time to go away when you break up. You cannot expect something you felt for months or years to disappear overnight. In fact, you should be concerned if you don’t feel any pain, as that should raise some concerns about your emotional availability and sensitivity as a human being.
I can bet that if you just lost your first love, you are convinced that he/she is one of a kind and that you are never going to meet anyone quite like him/her, especially if you feel that you have never meet anyone like him/her before. Well, guess what - I can also bet that this is not true! The reality of the dating life of all people I worked with shows beyond any doubt that they meet many, many more people after their first love, who they fall in love with and who they consider to be very special in their own, unique way. It’s true that no two people are alike, but it’s also true that every person, including every subsequent person who you will date will have something special about him/her that your former love didn’t. So, don’t allow yourself to aggravate your heart even further by making yourself believe that your loss is irreplacable. This is simply not true.
Perceive your loss of first love as a positive stage in your life. It’s part of growing up, part of becoming mature and learning how to deal with breaking up and rejection. And the best part is that every subsequent break-up in your life will be easier as you will learn how to handle it and how to move on with your life.
Lastly, don’t consider your past relationships to be a waste of time. The only time when the relationship is a waste of time is if you were in it for the wrong reasons or if you didn’t learn anything from it and moved forward without becoming a better partner and without reflecting on the possible mistakes that you made in your last relationship that you could and should avoid in the future.
You enjoyed loving as long as it lasted. I sure hope that you learned something from that experience and that you also reflect on the possible mistakes you made. It’s never too early or too late to learn how to be a better relationship partner and how to avoid having the same problems in the future as you had in the past. And if you want to start learning some of the most crucial elements of being a great relationship partner learn about my audio program “20 Laws of Successful Relationships.”
The vast majority of people lose their first love and pretty much all of them live through it, becoming stronger and more mature individuals and lovers. You will be in the same group! Remembe, a true champion does not deny his loss. He accepts it with grace and dignity, and does his best to learn from it, so that he moves on as a better and a stronger person. This applies to both sports as well as love and dating.
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Hi,
This is a great article. I am obviously getting over my first love and it hits the nail on the head… I feel like my first love and I had the perfect relationship – that no relationship I will be in in the future will compare, but you addressed this and made me feel better
Also, the first point is so true! I did everything in my power to try and get my ex to talk to me and love me back in the week or two that he was figuring out if he still loved me and it was the worst thing I could do. Now its truly over, i’m just leaving him be because I realise it will not make him love me and it will just make getting over him harder.
Thanks again for this article. Very wise advice.
helo
a great and meaninful article.
I just lost my first love, and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. I rarely show my emotions in front of my family and friends, but this breakup hurt so much I couldn’t help but bawl in front of them. The thing that hurt me the most was how he was so blunt when he ended it. He told me i could never be priority in his life, and his family mattered more… A family that never liked me, and disrespected me whenever they could. It just hurt knowing that after two years he could throw me away so easily, and with no emotion. It’s hard getting through the days, people say it gets better but it’s hard to believe that right away. I almost wish he cheated on me so I could move on quicker.
I have just lost my first love, it hurts so much i actually get pains in my chest. We were together for two years, i have never felt for anyone the way i feel for him. I cant describe it, he was my best friend. we were together for two years, In the last 6 months or so he slowly started losing his love for me, we used to fight a lot and bad things would always happen to us, we didnt have the best relationship looking back on it now (i was so blinded by my love for him i thought it was all normal and we were perfect) He would always just sit there or drive off when we had a fight and not care until i contacted him, he barely said he loved me anymore except on the odd occasion (usually when i mentioned he hasn’t been saying it a lot, or if he was drunk) he planned a 4wk trip across asia and thailand with his friends on new years (never asking me to come) he just kind of lost interest. He broke up with me a few days ago saying, he has been unhappy for a while and he doesn’t want to be with me, yet he said he still loves me? It’s so confusing, he obviously doesn’t love me. I loved him so much i was convinced he was the one that i was gonna marry, we even used to talk about it in the beginning. I’m not getting over it cause i just cant let go yet. It’s too hard. I know he’ll find another girl easily that he will fall in love with and it hurts so much cause they probably won’t fight like we did. I really don’t wanna let him go =(
Dear Bella,
I too love first love. I’m a guy and I thought this girl was everything I ever hoped for. I adored her and in my eyes she could do no wrong. I did everything for her and still in the end, she didn’t love me in return. You know what? Pick yourself up, you deserve someone that loves you as much as you do. No one will ever respect someone that accepts being treated like shit! Raise your standards, be kind and love those that deserve it and you’ll find that not only he wasn’t worth it, but higher quality men will come into your life! I know it hurts now, but sometimes pain can be the best teacher, if you allow it!
This article is a compilation of what everyone has told me. My boyfriend of 3 years just broke up with me. It sounds so similar to what the other posts say. We made the mistake of moving in together in a house I bought with my mom. I thought it would be ok because he could help us pay the mortgage and it would help make him more responsible.
What ended up happening was the stress of these responsibilities getting to him, him shutting down, letting the relationship get to the point where his frustration canceled his feelings for me, and he ended it. I have felt pain like this before, but this is even more severe. It feels like someone close to me died. We had been planning to get married, he even started paying for a ring.
I know that there were things that could have been better and things that were fantastic. He is not as responsible as I am and he has always been in a relationship before. I am the opposite, I have always been single and overly responsible. In the end, I think that is where the problems are. He was so supportive, loving, tender, affectionate, spiritual…I could go on. It was so hard to have him be so cold to me after such a deep loving relationship. In the end, I think he felt not good enough for me and like the different levels we are at as people were where the relationship failed. I pray that he will do what he feels he needs to do on his own time and one day realize what he lost. I have hope that there is still a chance that one day we will be back together under more appropriate circumstances.
I know logically that I cannot wait for that to happen because it may never happen, but I am still holding on to that hope emotionally. To find a person you love so deeply who loves you back, treats you well, and has such a loving family that welcomes you in it is such a rare thing to find. I know that one day I might be able to find it again with someone else, but no one person replaces another. I’m hoping by not contacting him at all and giving him the time he needs will help him grow will help him see that I was the right one for him. In the meantime, I am doing my best to help alleviate my own stressors in my life that contributed to this outcome. I know that if I don’t work on making this better for myself, this will continue to poison my other relationships. I’m going to exercise and work on things that make me happy. It will probably take months for me to feel anywhere near my usual self, but I am trying to lean on those that will help me cope. I am still looking for anything to help me feel an ounce of happiness. I haven’t felt happy in a week.
I, too have just lost my first love. 13 months of special times together. Deep emotional and physical connections to her but it all ended so abruptly when she said “I dont love you anymore”. I can’t quite understand because i thought i’d been perfect. At the beginning she was obsessed with me and always wanted to be around me. But as time went on that role switched and i could only see her on weekends. She introduced me to her family and they all loved me. I’d go round to see her family when they asked me and sometimes even without her! We had such a good laugh together and now she couldn’t care less. All those emotions thrown back in my face. I asked her to leave me in person so i could have closure and ease the pain. Her response was “its too difficult” when in actual fact she was round at another blokes house already. I keep having moid swings and one minute i feel like i’m fine and the next i’m begging myself to go to hers. But i won’t. Stupidly, i tried to rectify everything with her but that made it worse. Havn’t seen her since and she’s made no attempt to contact me. Not even a last kiss goodbye. I put so much time, effort and money into making us work but now i just feel used. Her parents are on my side but thats made it worse again. They’re blaming her. But now i’ve no lifeboats to meet. I’m planning on expelling all my time into my education and achieving the best grades i can. But it will be harder without her there to help me along the way and tell me its all ok. I feel isolated. I slept on the sofa because i remembered the times i’d hold her to sleep in my bed and she’d tell me she loved me. And that was only a week ago.
please. Someone. Help.
Wow for a second I thought I was the only person in the world that felt the way I do, I wish I just had someone to talk to my friends would never understand because they have no clue what it feels like to break up with someone you love.
:/
I can’t imagine what some of must be going through after being together for 1..3 years. I lost my first love and was with him for only 5 months. But love is love whether you’ve had it for a brief time or several years. He started acting weird all of a sudden in the last two weeks, withdrawn, moody and tired all the time. I knew something was not right but was too afraid to ask. Last week I did and he said he doesn’t feel “IT” for me, said he likes me and thinks I am amazing but just doesn’t feel “IT”. Well that does it. I have never endured pain like this, bad mood swings, constant need to cry when I smell and hear something or even go to certain stores where we shopped together. I write him letters and never post it. I feel empty, don’t feel like eating anything so have lost weight, have no interest in anything. I don’t think I will ever be able to forget him, he’s wonderful not perfect but someone I love.
Right now it feels like hell, is all I can say. I want to feel normal but don’t when that will happen..hearing similar experiences makes me feel not so alone anymore.
Thank you.
after dating for over a year and getting engaged my first love left me after an argument. on a normal day we would have patched things up but this time her family got involved and convinced her that it would be better to leav me…but when her visiting family left after 2 weeks she called me in tears(she had called me b4 this 2 multiple times) saying she messed up and that she was just to influenced by her family(shes hispanic and she tells me that in there culture family is evrything). i gladly took her back and things felt back to normal she even claimed to want a child with me but soon after she took a trip with the family agin she came back a little different somtimes she would show heavy affection then sometimes not…then she told out of the blue she no longer loved me in a matter of two weeks and i beged her to stay but it only made it worse but the next day she called and i sounded like i didnt care and tht made her say lets just take it 1 day at a time then..whn im nice its a no but mean yes,wt to do
well later on today at night me and my girl met up and i could see her trying to still feel those feelings but she couldn’t even kiss me ….we went to the park and we both said that people had tainted what we had. so many outside influences destroyed something so pure…we spent hours talking about all the good times we had and she almost broke down so she wanted to leav…we huged a final goodby and she kissed me on my cheak and thnked me for everything ….and just like that my first love left me forever and now im off to drink up a few 4lokos knowing it will probably only make the pain worse …..i fell as if theres no light left in my life . my hearts an open wound and i rlly hope its able to heal soon
My boyfriend and I met at work about a year and a half ago. It was literally love at first sight, he took my breath away and I took his away. I had never felt that instant connection with anyone before and I fell for him so quickly, and he fell quickly for me too. We did such amazing things together, walks, lunch dates, picnics, family dinners, dinner dates, movies…everything a relationship should have. Our favorite was snuggle time after our hours spent out together, we would come back to the house and just lay together. I grew to love absolutely everything about him and he shared everything he loved with me. He was always on my mind and was the only thing I would think of when I woke up. Suddenly two months ago all of these feelings began to slip away, and I started questioning my love for him, I still am, and I dont want things to be over between us because he is the one thing that makes me happy, but my romantic feelings have vanished. I can’t have sex with him because he has always been so intimate in bed. We are on a break right now because I broke up with him a few days ago but immediately regretted it and changed it to a break. His little sister just left for school and he is so upset because he going through that and he is faced with the fear of losing me, I want to help him through this because he has helped me through so much in the past few months. To him I am the only one he has a future with, he has had a few serious relationships before me and is five years older, so he is ready to settle where I am not too ready for that. He has treated me exactly the way I have always dreamed a man would treat me, he makes me laugh he comforts me, he listens and gives amazing advice. I want to have hope that my love for him will come back, but I am not hopeful that it is possible and it is miserable to live like that. I am writing this so people can see that being on this side of losing your first love is as equally painful. Not only do we have to make a decision that is best for ourselves, but we have to lose the love and happiness and hurt our significant other. I do keep hope however that we could find each other later in life since our relationship was meaningful and special, and we want all the same things in our future. It the worst feeling in the world hurting the one you love AND losing the one you love.
Hex,
I am too dealing with losing my first love. What makes it so particularly painful is that we have been together for 10 years. We have obviously countless beautiful memories and just as many painful memories. We have always have a hard time communicating and coming to an understanding after a fight and many times simply decided not to talk about problems in order to avoid more fights. Recently he has decided to leave me and he swears to me that he loves me just as much as he did but he is convinced that we will never make each other happy. I will admit i have felt the same way sometimes, but my love for him is way much stronger than for me to allow myself to convince of that. I would want to fight for us now more than ever but he just simply wants to move on while still being able to talk to me and remain on each others life. I am so devastated and feel that after all this years I am simply being thrown away and not good enough anymore. I refuse simply remains as friends… It hurts too much for me to see him and not be with him. I am starting to realize that as much as one can love another person, there comes a time when everything is simply out of our control. No matter how hard I am willing to fight for us, he has made up his mind that he does not want me any more and I will have no choice but to accept it and somehow try to move on. I fell like I have no friends anymore since he lives in the same apartment complex with most of our close friends, I feel like I have no moral support from anyone
just back to say i am finaly moved on with my life and am over my first heart break. im now dating a beautiful girl who enjoys me for me and dosent try to change me. my ex fiance tryed to use me agin but the third time around not being blinded by love i was able to see all the wrong she did me and i told her i was happy and to leave me alone….she proceeded to tell me it was a good thing she dumped me and that her new man is better than me i just laughed at her then turned around and kissed my new girl…..so yea im over it lol and just wanted to thank this site and everyone that shared there stories it helped me through a tuff time (: and inspired me to keep going….sept now i might be an alcoholic cuz its wat i turned 2 when i was down sadly but thats something i solve later cuz right now life couldnt be better
Thanks for the update and we are glad you found this site to be helpful to overcoming your personal challenges.
I was with someone for 4 months and although its nowhere near as long as most people on here had been with, it was very special to me. We had so much in common and get along so well it just seemed like it was the one I’d been waiting on. Being gay and religiously Jewish doesn’t make it easier unfortunately and I guess after waiting nearly 6 years for something that lasted more than 2 weeks it just felt right. Idk, prolly sounds silly to most people. It’s just hard trying to move on when I think that it took that long to find someone for just 4 months….
Mine was my first girlfriend who I went out with for three years in college. Basically, I came to the conclusion that I didn’t want to marry her (or anyone for that matter) at that time when I was 21. I’d never gone out with anyone else and simply couldn’t make that kind of commitment without more experience. I thought I should feel like that after three years. We spent an enormous amount of time together. The differences between us began to irritate me and I tried to get her to change (which was utterly stupid). Because of these differences, I thought we weren’t compatible. Because I didn’t want to marry her after so long, and I didn’t think I ever would, I felt we needed to break it off. We were physically separated and I didn’t have a phone or a car, so it was easy to ignore her letters and not stay in touch. It was easy to suggest we see other people. She did. She went from writing me in a letter one day, saying how much she loved me, to 11 days later – crying while we were being intimate, then not being able to talk about it, then telling me there was someone else, that she took his picture down when I came over, that they’d been intimate, etc. It had obviously been going on for a while. No emotion on her face whatsoever. Just calmly answered my questions as I was bawling the whole time, gave me kleenex and patiently waited for me to leave. That was the last time I saw her. 30 years ago. She would never talk to me again. I have never gotten over it to be honest. Most traumatic thing I’ve ever been through in my life by a long shot. I found out a couple months ago that she ended up marrying that guy. She was on a 4 year all tuition paid scholarship at school, which was not based on need. She married a construction worker who never went to college. Go figure.
I just lost my girlfriend two days ago. We hadn’t been doing very well after our anniversary. She’s a senior, so she got really busy. I thought we were just going through a rough patch, but then I got the bomb dropped on me. She said that she felt like we were going down two different paths and a lot had changed over the past month or so. Then she continued on to say that she wants to still be friends and she considers me one of her best and closest friends. She asked me if I would be willing to try. Honestly, I said yes when she first told me, thinking that it was better than nothing. But the pain that I’ve been feeling is too much for me and now I don’t know. We were together for almost two years, which is pretty long considering I’m still in high school. It’s funny though, whenever I see her at school, I feel so many different things. Sadness that we’re not together, anger that its her fault and love because I still love her. I don’t even know if she feels that way about me any longer. My family been giving me as much comfort as they can and I doubt any of my friends have any idea what I’m going through because they either have never loved anybody or have never dated anybody. It just kinda sucks.
“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile cause it happened!” I too lost my first love and it has been the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. What really made it so bad is that we were happy together but were in a long distance relationship and the distance created jealousy and miss trust and led us to drift apart. We still love each other alot but so many things have been said and done since the break up that it’s sad to think how we lost each other. I believe your first love is your biggest love cause it’s the relationship you share and learn the most in about someone else as well as yourself and your willing to open up in ways you wouldn’t normally with people. Once you lose that love it is extremely hard for one to share in the same way with someone else and you always end up comparing them to your first love what they did differently or the same. I miss my ex more than I’d like to admit and it kills me that we’ve drifted so far apart. And the worst part is we both feel the same but there is nothing we can do to fix anything anymore. Life has a way f working itself out though so one can only wait and see and stay positive and look to the future and never regret sharing that great love. “It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.”
This article says that what you feel isn’t unique, even though that person feels so special to you. This may apply to 99% of the people.
Let me explain what I’m going through. My girlfriend and I have been living together for 2 years, we still are. We have fallen into the deepest pit of love I think is possible for two people. Every minute possible we are together. I am convinced she is the only girl on the planet for me. We made all kinds of plans for the future, our aspirations are spot on, we are perfectly compatible. Last summer we almost got married, her parents wanted her to, and she did also, but I said lets just get through college first, then figure out wedding planning. I’m 26 shes 23.
About 6 months ago she broke down crying one day and it took me about 3 hours to finally get her to talk. She said she might be bi. This “might” slowly turned into “i might be lesbian” which turned into “i am a lesbian” a couple months ago.
So we live together now, still completely in love, but there is an understanding that we can’t continue. But who’s going to move? It’s been a couple months of this monster truth lurking around silently. We still live happily and spend time together, but the truth is there staring at us. She wants to go explore, I have to move out.
This may be the most confusing situation two people could get in. Neither wants this, she doesn’t want to leave me, I don’t want to leave her.
But we have to?? ?? It doesn’t make sense, except as this being a cruel joke by god.
She says she needs to explore and can’t do it with me here. And I said “well, you have a car too.”
It seems so unjust, so wrong, so backward, that we have to separate, and she feels the same. This is the era of gay rights and awareness. How about the first straight-gay relationship? I seek to transcend all human sexuality and reside with this woman on a plane of powerful platonic love.
But, I will be shattered, am shattered, and will leave peacefully, wondering for the rest of my life what could have been.
My boyfriend of five months just broke up with me. We had so many plans, and there’s still a possibility that i’m pregnant, too soon to tell. He’d told me how he knew i was the one he’d been waiting for and how much he loved me, I’d never been in love so once i realized i was it was a whirlwind of happiness. We had talked about starting a family before he left, and being married and just how great we are together. I was happy to finally feel this way and that he was treating me the best he possibly could. We never once had a fight or any kind of disagreement, we were always able to talk and work it out showing nothing but love and understanding for one another. My parents however don’t realize this, they don’t think we need to be anything more than “work friends”. My parents would refuse to even meet him. This is his reason for breaking up with me. He’s in the army and goes off in a few months, it is incredibly hard now, but i don’t even want to imagine how i’ll feel knowing he’ll be so far away. He wants to be friends with me still, in fact we’re going to dinner tonight as friends. I’m still not sure if this will make it harder or not. If anyone has been through anything similar, or has some advice, please feel free to share, I’m beyond lost and confused.
My girlfriend of two and a half years just broke up with me out of the blue saying that she needs to be on her own to figure out her own life before she can fully commit to someone else. I know everybody is in the same boat, but for me things are a bit different.
She was my first love and the girl who I ‘lost it’ to.
I met my ex the day I got to university, and from this moment we hit it off. Honestly nothing could have seemed more perfect between us. We shared all the same interests and have lived happily sharing an amazing adventure together until last week.
However, this is where it gets difficult. My ex was on an exchange program from another country, in her second year of university, I was a fresher. Despite our difference in culture, background, and past life experiences we were inseparable and we quickly fell deeply in love. At Christmas of the first year, she managed to extend her stay in my country to last for the full year, instead of one semester. We were so happy and carried on living together. (Oh yeah, I forgot to mention we were flatmates!)
Summer came and the end of her year abroad. As she had stayed for much longer than she anticipated, she had too much stuff to take on a plane, so I manned up and drove her back to her home country. Big adventure for me seeing as I was only 19… We spent an amazing summer together and I was accepted into her family like a son. Which for me was incredibly important, as I’ve never had a good relationship with my own father…
However, at the end of the summer, I had to return home and my ex had to do her final year at home. It was so difficult being apart but we managed to get through it, we both trusted each other and nothing ever happened to threaten our love for each other. We saw each other on holidays and it was as if we’d never been apart. Thankfully the year passed and we were back together again, going on amazing trips around my country, discovering it together.
Luckily, with my university degree I was able to take a year abroad, so went to be with her and live in our own flat which we split the cost of. In the beginning everything was fine, we enjoyed being together and doing the things we had always done, however she got a job, a necessity after university I know, and she became very involved. And I felt she had a lot less time for me. She’s a very attractive girl and I was worried about all the attention she was getting from her male colleagues, who were all older and had nice cars and a good pay packet. She became more and more distant, wanting to do romantic couple things less and less. Let’s not even start to go into what our once amazing sex life had become…
Anyway, I went home for Christmas and I thought that everything was fine. I just thought she was tired from all the working. But I return in January and things really aren’t right. She barely wants to touch me or do anything and alarm bells are ringing in my head. I confront her one morning before she goes to work and she says everything is fine.
Foolishly I log on to her facebook account and check her messages, where to my horror I find hundreds of messages between her and a colleague. Hearts, I need you, please don’t go, etc. The guy in question has been with his girlfriend 10 years and is in the process of moving to another continent with her… Anyway I go into shock, wondering how our perfect world could have become full of deceit and lies. It turns out that she had kissed this guy at a work party over christmas and had very strong feelings for him.
I ask if we can possibly work it out and she says she needs time to be on her own to work out her own life. She got me only shortly after breaking up with an ex boyfriend, so sadly for the last maybe 5 or 6 years, she has been unable to live for herself. She says that she now has few friends or interests and needs to discover life on her own.
I was completely shattered as I was sure, albeit naively that we were perfect for each other. Everything had worked in our favour. We had talked about marriage and children and all of the future. I know this is common for long duration couples, but this dream future had become my reality and I couldn’t imagine it any different.
So I’m here now typing this from her parents house, as they are trying to do everything for me to make life easier. After all, I am in a foreign country, far from my friends and family, and suffering the worst thing that has ever happened in my life. She says she still loves me and wants to be with me, however I can’t help but feel that this may be just to soften the blow and make me feel better. She seems emotionally disconnected and I’m genuinely worried about her. I’m currently in the process of trying to find somewhere else to live, which is pretty difficult at this time of year.
It is total heartache to lose her, as I was sure that we were soulmates. We knew absolutely everything about one another and I feel as if my whole world and my expectations from it have been extinguished. I know in the future that I will be OK, I’m just going through a very rough time at the moment. I’m finding it hard to eat or revise for my exams that are happening next week… (Fantastic time for it to happen…) let alone sleep. Although when I do, it’s always about her. I’m still deeply in love with her and don’t know how to make her see that we were the best thing for each other. I know I can’t change her mind but I hope she comes to this realisation herself.
I desperately want her back, however I feel that now my love and trust has been betrayed, that it would be hard to continue as we were before. Maybe good things need to come to an end though. I don’t for one minute regret any of the time we spent together. I’ve had the best 2 1/2 years of my life. I’m just very sad that all the magic we used to have has become this.
Sorry for rambling, but it helps to put your thoughts in writing, especially as I’ve very few people to talk to at the moment. I’m already starting to feel better about myself as I know the breakup was nothing to do with me. I never changed, and always treated her like a princess. I hope she will come to her senses and come back to me. I’m trying to avoid all contact and wait for her to come back. I want her to realise she misses me.
To all those going through a similar situation, I urge you to keep strong and keep going with your life. People come in and out for a reason, and although the pain of losing someone you deeply love may never truly go away, everyone can come out a stronger person with hopes for the future. May you all find the happiness you deserve.