8 Reasons to Marry a Complicated Girl – Right or Dead Wrong?

bossy-complicated-dominant-womanIt is safe to say that the article on 8 reasons why you should marry a complicated girl has gone viral, since it has gotten nearly half a million Facebook likes in just one week. I appreciate the idea that a “complicated” woman is a more interesting and intriguing woman on many levels. However, the way the author defines a “complicated girl”  might just make any guy look for the exact opposite in a woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with or at least try to do so.

Here are these eight reasons:

1. Marry the girl who tells you exactly what she expects and follows through.

2. Marry the girl who demands your respect.

3. Marry the girl who can talk politics, even if her opinions are different from yours.

4. Marry the girl whose eyes flicker with passion about a number of different subjects.

5. Marry the girl who won’t let you get away with slacking on your talents.

6. Marry the girl who pushes you to be better every day.

7. Marry the girl with whom you sometimes fight.

8. Marry the girl who is your equal or greater.

Let’s look at the above reasons a little closer:

Reasons #1 and #2 – when most guys hear “tells you exactly what she expects” the word “bitch” is the first thing that comes to their mind. We are also much more likely to respect the girl whose words, actions and behavior earn her respect, rather than the one who demands it.

Reason #3 – it’s great if she is able to talk about politics, but do guys want the girl they are with to actually bring up politics often or … ever? Maybe in a political science class discussion, but not on a date or, God help, in bed, unless it has been creatively incorporated into a playful joke or a sexual innuendo (example: after a few drinks and making out, you tell the girl, if appropriate under the circumstances – “I am considering exploring your internal affairs a little further”).

Reason #4 – Eyes flicker with passion – that depends about what. Is it passion for music, literature, cooking, paintings, dancing? Or, is it the same obnoxious passion for politics, bringing up ultra feminist ideas way too often, and being always right?

Reason $5 & #6 – How does she do this? – By helping the guy overcome his challenges or by putting him down and comparing him to his peers, who do better?

Reason #7 – Chances are that you will fight with every single woman you date / marry, unless either or both of you become completely indifferent toward each other.

Reason #8 – Is she equal or greater because she just is, or does she routinely go out of her way to challenge her partner and prove to him that she is better than he is?

If you run into a “complicated girl”, ask yourself which category of “complicated” does she belong to. Does her being complicated make her a more stimulating company and even more sexually desirable because of the added wit and charm of her personality? Or does it look like she will only be a bigger and bigger pain in the ass to deal with, she will continue arguing with you and challenging you on issues that should not really be personal to you, and she will make you feel smaller by comparing you to other guys. In other words – will you feel like a man next to her or will she constantly remind you that you are half the man you should be and she expects you to be?

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About practicalh

Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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TJ
TJ
10/04/2015 9:30 am

My experience with this may have been at the extreme end of the scale. I chose to be with a “complicated” woman as defined by the original article as I thought she would be an immense source of growth, and adventurous partner and a passionate lover. It was hel! She was the most condescending, difficult and argumentative person I have ever been with. Challenging and berating me over inconsequential things, never putting much effort forth and in my opinion was quite manipulative. From my experience I’d say don’t do it, it is a complete pain in the ass.
On that note though we can’t break women down into just complicated and uncomplicated, whatever mine was I would really define as unhealthy, but say beware of she who is hyper critical and feels the need to call you out on everything under the sun.

practicalh
10/04/2015 10:04 am
Reply to  TJ

Interesting observation, TJ. I think many guys think that these types of issues such as being criticized all the time and other frictions will “smooth out” once they tie the knot. In reality, however, small problems, if not address promptly, don’t disappear but become become problems. While we may get used to some things that bother us in a partner, many others will annoy us more and more and in time will become unbearable.

Tj
Tj
10/04/2015 9:07 pm
Reply to  practicalh

I certainly did that in a sense. I let red flags and behaviours go, attributing them to other stressors (her teen daughter put us through one hell of a ride) but over time things just exacerbated and she escalated in terms of being unreasonable and critical and I let myself feel emasculated and diminished by her until I woke up. I should’ve woken up a few years back and left. Felt amazing shortly after I did and went no contact, ignoring a few condescending emails, like a new lease on life. I am seeing an “uncomplicated” girl now (defined by the articles tone) and she is delightful! She certainly doesn’t need to be “complicated” to support me and passionately love me.

practicalh
10/04/2015 9:15 pm
Reply to  Tj

This reminds me of an observation that’s considered somewhat chauvinistic but undeniably true – if a woman had only two traits – 1. smart and 2. nice, the second trait is so much more important for dating / relationship.