Advice on Meeting and Dating Shy Girls

(Last Updated On: 09/25/2015)

dating shy girlsBefore I dive into several useful tips on meeting shy girls, I believe it’s important to address the question whether it is a good idea, for you, as a guy, to try to approach, meet and date these shy girls. My answer is: absolutely! And this is for several reasons. First, many girls who make an impression of being shy are not actually shy at all once you break the ice and get to know them. Other girls are shy at first but later prove to be very outgoing socially and otherwise.

But even if the girl is truly shy, once you uncover her true self, you might just be in for a very pleasant surprise, as that shy girl often turns into a very passionate dating partner (and sex partner as well), who is in many ways more open minded sexually and otherwise than those who don’t seem to be more outgoing and open at first. Just because a girl doesn’t smile to every person who walks by her and doesn’t wear as short skirt in heels, doesn’t mean that she is not interested in men, dating and sex.

The opposite is true as well – just because a girl is hugging every guy at a club and twerking on the dance floor doesn’t mean that she has genuine desire and passion on the inside, as it could be all a show or a desperate attempt to attract attention that she is missing so much. So, don’t perceive the low-key demeanor, modest clothing and quiet voice as negative signs. Such a girl might just be smarter, more interesting, and more passionate in bed than many of those women who like to be in the “spotlight” or who also are known as “attention whores.”

Further, shy girls are a rare kind this day and age, when girls have so much experience, being bombarded with all kinds of communication from guys on Facebook, Tinder, OkCupid, etc… Girls today meet more guys and go out on more dates than ever before, which eliminates any kind of shyness and very quickly leads them to a very bad state of being emotionally unavailable due to dating fatigue. So, if you a meet a girl who is actually shy, she might just be much more emotionally available for love and attachments than all the other ones. And if you are looking for a serious connection with a woman, a little patience at first with a shy girl will likely pay off big time later.

So, if you laid your eye on a truly shy girl and would like to attract her, there are a few things you need to keep in mind. First, she is shy for one or more of the common reasons: she might be inexperienced with men, she might b verye attracted to you as well and is afraid to do/say the wrong thing, she might be conservative, believing that she is not supposed to show any signs of interest, or she might be all of the above at the same time. Some guys don’t like dealing with shy girls, but I believe that they often miss out on some of the best and the most passionate women out there, who just need a little time and encouragement to warm up to you.

Regardless of why a particular girl you met appears to be shy, you should consider the following tips to break the barriers between the two of you and bring you as close to each other as you want:

1. You should take things with a shy girl a bit slower than with other women.

You need to recognize that a shy girl needs more time to warm up to the idea of meeting a new guy, becoming comfortable around him and being intimate. Curb your flirting and your normal pace of physical advances, as this might overwhelm her and even scare her off. Once she is comfortable with you and ready to get close to you, you will know. Usually, it doesn’t take all that long. Many shy girls recognize their shyness and are trying to work on breaking their own barriers, even if it’s not obvious from their behavior. By being a bit more patient, you will help them find their own way toward you, and it’s so much more effective than being pressured into something.

2. Just as importantly, you must feel comfortable and act completely natural around a shy girl.

Even if being touched or kissed is a big deal to her, you must act like flirting and making graduate advances is the most natural thing for you. If she sees that you are comfortable around her, then she will subconsciously mirror your behavior sooner or later and will also become more comfortable with what the two of you are doing. This doesn’t mean that you have to disregard or disrespect the fact that it takes her longer to warm up to you, but it does mean that you shouldn’t encourage her to think that getting closer to you is not something that should take years.

3. If a shy girl rejects any of your advances, it might mean “not yet” and not necessarily “no.”  

This of course applies to all the other girls too. If a shy girls pushes you away when you try to hug her or kiss her, don’t assume right away that she is not interested or attracted to you. Instead, retreat and act like nothing bad happened and then try to make an advance later. Usually, a shy girl who is interested in you will feel guilty about pushing you away shortly after and will show far less resistance the next time you try to get closer to her. If she rejects you again, it’s perfectly appropriate to ask her if she finds you unattractive and whether you should stop bothering her. A girl who likes you will quickly deny that and will explain to you why she acts the way she does, which in itself will be a great ice-breaker and will bring the two of you closer together.

In sum, a shy girl might be a hidden treasure. It might take longer to find that treasure and bring out the passion in a shy girl, but that type of a woman might prove to be a great or even better partner than other, more outgoing women. This is because a shy woman probably had less experience with men, she is less jaded and less “tired” of dating, and therefore has more left to give to the one she really likes and trusts. You just need to follow a few tips to break that layer of shyness in order to discover that.

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Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.