We often use the term “double standard” to describe how many societal rules and customs are applied unequally to men and women. While many people perceive this double standard as wrong and unfair, and something that needs to be fixed, I would like to submit to you that having a double standard is absolutely normal and in fact inevitable for one simple, but fundamental reason: men and women are fundamentally different on the most basic anatomic level. We are simply different creatures. We have different organs, different body density, and different strengths and weaknesses. How can there not be double standards when it comes to just about… anything including dating. Here are just five examples of typical situations the double standard in the world of approaching and meeting women, and how differently men and women perceive the same behavior in each other:
1. When it comes to online dating sites, a woman is generally only expected to send a “hi” or “how are you” message to the guy to start a conversation and invite the guy to take the lead. On the other hand, the same message from a man to a woman would be considered weak, boring and non-creative.
2. Consider a guy who talks to a girl who he just met. At the end of the conversation he, instead of asking her for her phone number, gives her his phone number. The chances that she is actually going to call him, even if she is interested, are dismal. She knows that it is not her role to initiate a connection with a guy, and he is the one who should do most, if not all, of the “work” – at least in the very beginning.
3. Imagine a girl approaches you and says that her friend would like to meet you – what is more thrilling than that? On the other hand, if your male friend approaches a girl and tells her that you want to meet her, she might just be turned off by your lack of confidence and lack of ability to approach her directly by yourself.
4. A guy who walks confidently down the street, taking big steps and keeping his chin up looks attractive and exudes an aura of confidence. A woman with the same energy might be perceived as a high-maintenance dominatrix who is either extremely snobbish or insecure or both. The society expects guys to be aggressive, but is repelled by women who invest great effort around the clock with getting the corner office.
5. A girl texts the guy who she went out with once or twice – “how are you?” This should suggests to the guy that she enjoyed his company and would like to see him again. Typically, a woman is not going to go much further than simply initiating a conversation. On the other hand, the guy in the same situation is expected to tell her that she enjoyed meeting her and he would like to see her again, or something like that.
Again, double standard is not a negative concept. In fact, it is perfectly natural. If men and women are built differently, why would they be acting the same way or have exactly the same feelings and emotions? Do not look for or expect equality. You are not equal to women. You show your anger and happiness in ways that are very different from those used by females. You resolve conflicts differently and you plan your future differently. Keep this in mind, as this is one of the keys to understanding and getting along with women.
