How do you know if your friend wants to be more than friends and wouldn’t mind trying to be romantically involved with you? Well, certainly asking someone to be “more than friends” is rather hard and can be awkward for both people, so few people want or are ready to actually do that.
A much better and a more reliable way to find out if your friend would like to date you is by making your interest a little more clear, making a move in subtle by clear ways and seeing how the other person responds and whether he or she wants to me more than friends.
You can start “testing the waters” by flirting more, being physically closer to him / her, by standing closer to each other, looking in each other’s eyes for longer periods of time , touch him or her more often casually while talking and see how your friend responds to your flirting and subtle advances.
This kind of behavior should give you a clear indication of whether he/she is interested in being more than friends with you without the risk of being rejected or having an awkward conversation with your friend.
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Thanks, this topic has always been a confusing one, but this cleared it up
I’ve known this girl for years already. We used to be in the same school together but never really spoke a lot until when we had relationship issues (in feb 09) of our own and we confided in each other. She’s been waiting for this guy for a while, although he treats her real badly and she’ll end up crying and call me occasionally to talk to me about it. But we lost contact when i started working (in aug 2009) but contacted her again a few months later (in jun 2010).
I know there’s the long period of silence, but when we contacted again and went out (only twice for now), she’s become more touchy and more playful with me. She’ll lean on me when she laughs, hold me round the arms when we walk round the mall (both for brief and short moments). We’ll like tease each other and just sit down and catch up with old times. And that’s where i’ve started to like her.
I know when i ask what are the signs of someone liking you, this first thing that pops to mind is when she always makes herself present and starts a conversation with you out of the blue. But this doesn’t happen here, i’ll be the one starting the conversation and planning for outings most of the time. However, whenever we meet, i have the “more than friends” feeling. Teasing and touching are sure signs as well.
Plus, she’ll speak very little of that guy she’s been waiting for when i asked bout him. When we are out together, she only answers her phone when her mom or her female best friends calls. She told me that she’s undecided whether to still wait for him or go for someone else.
I would like to grab this opportunity to confess to her, but don’t know how to tell when is the right time and don’t know whether she likes me back.
So, help me out here?! Please do guide me on step by step basis cause i’m a total nerd when it comes to relationships.
Nigel
I think you should act as if she was single, ask her out to eat or drink or whatever, don’t just confess her like romeo and juliet deal, she seems very energetic, platonic relation or talks might not what she want, So when you go out with her, eat and drink etc, still don’t confess, then invite her out, while at your house, drinks first kiss etc.. Then maybe you can say, if she’s still thinking about leaving the other guy, I mean keep yourself always as a reward, don’t just give it to her.. Let her work for it in her mind, you know what I mean? I think confessing your love to her is not gonna help anything, she wins, you might even lose her. I think if you just ask her out she’ll know that you’re interested in a different way this time.
Just my opinion.
So what u’re trying to say is that i should just keep feeding her the signs of my interest by asking her out and all. As per normal. Which naturally still keeps me in the driving seat. Right?
However, u stated that i should ‘keep myself always as a reward’, but what should i do to prevent it stuck at just a ‘platonic relationship’?
Nigel
The point is it’s not going to be stuck in a platonic thing if you let her discover that she is indeed attracted! There is a big difference between platonic and attraction / interest.
I’m pretty sure the feeling is mutal, if she didn’t like u she wouldn’t find reasons to touch u go for it and ask her out…
What happens after a confession between 2 people? Both of us have our busy lives to deal with, and i’m kinda still making the first moves most of the time.
Can i know what is it that women expect to see in a man who makes him a possible lover? Especially due to the fact that we’ve been friends for so long. And how to talk to her about how our relationship should grow and about us.
Another extra point is that, she’s totally new to this and i guess she doesn’t know how to go about with this situation. Therefore, I’d like to approach with extra care and caution.
Will appreciate if anyone replies.
cheers!
Nigel
Nigel, I think Martin brought up a good point by just simply asking her out ON A DATE. Forget “hanging out” as if you two are friends ’cause if you make it appear like you two are just hanging out, she’s not going to believe that you want to be romantically involved with her.
The “confession” might just come up a little later on the moment she’s starting to see that you REALLY want to be more than just friends. That you’re someone who’s determined to be in a relationship with her. I would think that the girl would be a complete idiot to not see that a guy doesn’t want to be just “a friend.”
OK, so you decide to ask her out on a date. You take her to an activity that she’s into or something that she’s talked to you about a few times (look, you’ve known her for years; there’s got to be something you know she’s been dying to do in her life but hasn’t). While you’re with her, how about you treat the date as if it was the first date for the both of you, like getting to know each other for the first time. You’re obviously interested in her and she’s obviously interested in you and you want to have that chemistry. You want her to believe that you’re romantically attracted to her. You’ve known her for years so by now she’s gonna find you predictable if you just try to act like your usual self UNLESS you try to be a little flirty, funny, sarcastic–whatever.
So, let’s say the date turned out well, you two had something special going there and you’re wondering “when should I tell her how I feel?” Don’t worry about it. Once you feel the moment is right, you give her a REAL kiss and say what you feel deep in your heart about THAT moment, especially after you kiss her. And just like what this article mentioned by “flirting more, being physically closer to… her, by standing closer to each other, looking in each other’s eyes for longer periods of time, touch… her more often casually”, there’s no reason why the relationship would remain “platonic.”
You can’t know for certain if she “loves” you after that date. Sometimes it will take a few more dates especially when she’s “new” at it but I guarantee that you will experience something that will exceed your expectations, enough to be able to open up your true feelings. But just remember that it’s your actions, not so much as words, that will indicate your desire for committment.
It’s been months now and things have been going practically great in my point of view. However, I would like to bring up some questions that have been lingering in my mind for quite a while.
We have been going out for months already, confessed and things have been going on great for the 2 of us when we’re to meet each other. Great as in lots of physical contact and plenty of smiles and laughter. We do share quite a fair bit of what happened in our lives and so on. But when we’re not around each other, she’ll be silent through-out. She’d never message or call me at all, and i’d always have to make the first move to start the conversation and also the one who’d call her for a date or short meet-up.
So, my first question, the main one, how should i go about this issue encouraging her to take the INITIATIVE sometimes? Or is that way how some ladies are and is there anything that i can do about it?
Secondly, we’ve confessed that we like each other. And it was only after a few weeks, due to our busy lives, that I asked her about ‘how should we go on from here?’. And she replied, ‘We’ll just go with the flow.’. What does ‘GO WITH THE FLOW’ really mean? Does it mean that I have the luxury of setting the pace of the growing relationship? Or it’s something else? ( If it’s negative, how should I counter it? )
And lastly, our outings and dates are basically like, dinner –> walking around town –> sit down at a park and talk about each others’ lives. It’s ALWAYS following the same frame. And I don’t know whether it’s healthy in the growth of this relationship or not. But, over time, the relationship seemed to be going GREAT! Except for the first issue that I’ve mentioned.
Yea, I’ve basically summarized everything that’s bothering me and I’d really really really appreciate it if anyone will reply, because I’d like to hear everyone’s view.
Cheers!
PS : To have a better understanding of my situation, you may want to read from the very top, the first response to this page.
Another thing to take note is that she’s new to relationships and so am I. She’s a pretty shy and quiet girl as well.
Really really appreciate it!
NIGEL
There is an issue that im dealing with with a girl in my class. im an 18 yr old male. There is this girl in my class who i have had a crush on for about 3 weeks. ever since i saw her , i have spoken to her. ive known her for about 2 1/2 months.. i talk to her on the phone, walk her to her bus occasionally, i flirt with her in class , but i havent told her that i liked her or anything. i know dat i have made it pretty clear that i do. i just dnt know how she feels about me. she lets me play with her hair in class, touch her sides, grabb her hands, ect. i wanna tell her how i feel but i dnt know how. i dnt wanna corner her or make her feel uncomfortable and leave it at an awkward moment..there are a couple of moments where she has left me confused wit her actions but i might just be taking it the wrong way… so my questions are…. “SHOULD I TELL HER HOW I FEEL”? or should i just leave it how it is and let it continue to grow?… “IF I TELL HER THEN HOW SHOULD I TELL HER, AND WHAT WOULD BE A GOOD WAY OF TELLING HER”?
Any Reply Would Be Very Hlpful And Would
Def. Help Me Clear My Head On All Of This..
Thank You….
i have been dating this girl for a month now and our first date was at the club i endup geting a kiss and i invite her at my place for a second she come over with her friend, damn her, but it was fun and got a chance to drive things in a romantic way cos i got a kiss from her. i realy like this girl and i even told her that i love her lets advance our friendship to the next level and it looks like she accept but she didnt reply for two days and the third day i cal her and she told me she dont want to be in a relationship with anyone at the moment and lets jus be friends. is her friend felt jelous with me and told her not to accept me because everything was on the green line for me ,guys am so disappointed i thought everything went well but she kick my ass on the last minute . need ur advice. thenx
nigel, I think those problems are something you can fix by just askin her out like youve done before but make it more romantic places, like maybe bring her flowers when you go or take her somewhere more expensive although a relationship has nothing to do with money this does make a girl feel important. also it might be romantic if you make it a suprise and just tell her to put on somrthing nice and you’ll pick her up mystery in this will make her want to explore things more