Read the excerpt from two actual female online dating profiles below and ask yourself whether there is anything wrong with them:
I am a happy, positive and energetic person. I have no complaints or regrets about my life experiences because they have shaped me into the person I am. Working hard and being dedicated have allowed me many great things both personally and professionally. I am very close with my family and cherish the moments we share.
Staying active, healthy and fit are important components of my life and desire someone who feels the same. I find time in my daily life for physical activity – running, yoga, swimming, weights, biking or hiking.
I love traveling and exploring and will always vote for the great outdoors vs. indoors. I enjoy adventures such as camping, skiing (snow and water), drives up the coast or into the city. I am also always open to trying and learning something new.
As much as I enjoy activities, sometimes there is nothing better than a little R&R at home over dinner and a movie. I’m a romantic at heart and will never pass up on a nice evening with that “someone.” I am genuine and honest and look for these qualities in others.
Laughter, fun and acting like a kid should never be lost. Who can pass up jumping in a puddle, a snow ball fight or a game of hide and seek? Not me! There are plenty of times in life to be serious, so I never pass up the fun moments. ”
Profile No. 2: “My Self Summary:
I love meeting new people and I love adventure. Travel has been a large part of my life for the past 10+ years. I’ve been to 46 countries, 6 continents, and all over the US. And so far, San Fran has been the one to make me unpack my suitcases. I’m exited to get-to-know this city better and explore more. I love being out doors and being active. I’m open to suggestions for new places to check out, hikes to go on, or the new hip restaurant or bar for happy hour. Either way, I’m sure SF will not disappoint. I love this city!
I enjoy biking, rock climbing, ice skating, snow boarding, snow skiing, water skiing, scuba diving, yoga, salsa dancing, hiking, camping (in no particular order) and pretty much anything active outdoors.”
At first glance, these are decent profiles written by someone who seems to be happy and would probably be fun to meet. However, these profiles suffer from one serious problem – they are extremely cliche and so painfully unoriginal. They look just like any other profile, at least in the locality where they are posted. Everything in them is so standard, so generic, and so overused – from how positive and happy the author is to her activities and her liking to laugh screams “I am just like the next profile you will be reading”.
Also, while many guys will not have a problem with it, some will doubt the honesty of a person who makes her life sound too good to be true and who claims to be happy all the time. How is it possible? And is it even normal/healthy/natural?
Now, consider the excerpts from a profile that’s far more original, interesting, and attractive:
Profile No. 3: “My Self Summary”
Maximizer. Solution-focused, communicative. Humanist. Competitive. I like being the best. Extremely logical, extremely honest, and extremely direct– sometimes to a fault. Little bit of a firecracker. Maybe a little too good at compartmentalizing. And I’m sarcastic as all get out– it feels a little like Tourette’s. Sensitive, sensual, sensible. And genuine. What you see is what you get.
I am really good at:
Spooning. Perseverating. Flirting. The sillies.Forgiving. Loyalty. Not giving up. Gut check. Proud owner of a pretty darn decent moral compass. Persevering. Rolling with the punches. Goal-setting, boundary-setting. Setting limits, exceeding limits. Rules; following them, knowing when and how to break them while maintaining my personal integrity.Losing things, forgetting things. I am also super clumsy. I spill things on myself like it’s nobody’s business, especially when I’m wearing white. I can be incredibly impatient. And temperamental. I love with all of my heart. Sometimes this gets me into big trouble. Listening. Fixing things. I’m an observer. Very analytical (read: little bit of an overthinker). Social butterfly. Easy conversation. Trustworthy, affectionate. I’m a little quirky and I like to think I have an excellent sense of humor. I am goofy and not afraid to laugh at myself. I am a kid at heart and people tend to laugh quite a bit in my presence, which I believe is a good thing.
The six things I couldn’t do without:
My dog, my family, my friends.
Fried chicken. The darkest beer in the house.
Chapstick. A decent cup of coffee.
“Me” time. A good pair of running shoes, a good book, the sun.
My impressive collection of hooded sweatshirts. You can’t have just one.
Love– complete with butterflies, warm and fuzzy, hot and sexy.
Adverbs. I find them _incredibly_ emphatic.
I spend a lot of time thinking about:
Human behavior. Attachment Theory,How transient this all is.
How thankful I am that no one can hear my inner monologue. Although I heard a guy on NPR recently talking about developing a technology that would allow humans to do so. WTF? Mind your own goddamn business, right? ;)”