One of the most common reasons that girls break up with their boyfriends is that these guys become more and more jealous, controlling and possessive. Male jealousy can have many forms, and handling it can be a serious challenge for the women they date. Some guys are so jealous and controlling that they don’t even let their girlfriends go out on their own with their friends, because they are afraid that some other guy will seduce her. Other guys tell their girlfriend what to wear, how to keep their hair, who to hang out with and otherwise trying to control their life. A woman who is in a relationship with a jealous and controlling guy will sooner or later will feel both unhappy and even suffocated and will also lose attraction to her guy, as jealousy is one of the most prominent signs of lack of confidence. Then, the break-up will be inevitable.
So, why are so many guys acting jealous and controlling? I believe that this is a combination of two reasons: first, if they really like the woman they are with, they want everything in that relationship to be perfect, which means that expect their girlfriend to be perfect as well – perfect in a way that they imagine “perfection” to be, so they try to adjust who she is, how she acts, and how she lives her life to their own standard of perfection. By way of analogy, imagine if you moved from a budget housing to this beautiful luxury home. You would probably want to make sure that the kitchen, the furniture, the shower and just about everything in that house was perfect. That’s what jealous guys do to their “perfect” girlfriends.
The second reason that guys become jealous and controlling is because they are really afraid to lose that special girl, and they feel that if they don’t keep an eye on her, she is going to slip away or some other guy is going to take her away from them. Thus, these guys try to keep their partner away from any “threat.” At first, a girl might be flattered by such attention, thinking that the guy really cares about her. It’s only a matter of time, however, until the girl realizes that the reason the guy is so territorial about her is not because of who she is but because of his own insecurity about her and himself.
So, how do you deal with your boyfriend’s jealousy and control issues? Many girls simply walk away from the relationship, not being able to tolerate that kind of treatment and lack of basic freedom and trust. I have to say that in many cases this is the only option, as many guys are unable to understand or change their jealous ways. If you really love the guy however and you are committed to the relationship, it’s worth at least trying to fix the problem before you leave him. Address jealousy as soon as possible. The first and the necessary step that every jealous guy should take is to realize and acknowledge that he has a problem – that his behavior is irrational and detrimental to the relationship. Have him read this article on overcoming and abandoning jealousy, which will provide very simple yet very practical steps on handling this problem. For many people this article is an eye-opener and is a start to a completely new outlook on their partner and on their relationship. At the very least, you will know that you tried to fix the problem before you gave up.