Social Jealousy: When Your Friends are Flirting with Your Girlfriend

How should you act and what should you do when you are out with your friends and with your girlfriend, and your friends appear to be a little too friendly or too touchy with her, and you feel that what you with that girl is threatened by their advances? Of course, every situation is different, there are a few simple guidelines you can follow in two main kinds of situations: if your friends behavior seems to be innocent and the flirting is subtle, and they seem to be just having fun getting to know your girlfriend, this should not be a problem, but this should be an opportunity for you to show your confidence – to demonstrate to both your friends and your girlfriend that you are not concerned and you are not threatened by what’s going on. You know that she likes you and she wants to be with you, and the fact that your friends are flirting with her in good fun and spirit doesn’t bother you. You are also aware that in the unlikely event that somehow she decides to leave you for one of your friends, then it’s her choice and there is not much you can or should be doing about it. As trivial as it may sound, the woman you are seeing should only be with you if and as long as she wants to, and if she doesn’t, then she is not the one for you.

If, on the other hand, your friends seem to be way too friendly with your girlfriend or if you it appears to you that your girlfriends is being too friendly for whatever reason – whether it’s because she likes another guy, or she just loves the attention and the idea that other guys want her, it’s perfectly appropriate for you to talk to your friends or your girlfriend or both on separate occasions and let them know that how they act makes you feel uncomfortable. If you do it in a non-accusing and a non-confrontational manner, it will likely help you solve the problem. This is surely better than not doing anything, pretending like everything is fine and allowing resentment to build up in you against both your friends and your girlfriend.

Although this kind of jealousy is a negative feeling, like pretty much any kind of jealousy, it’s normal to feel concerned or threatened in situations like that, especially if you think that your friends who are flirting with your girlfriend are more attractive than you are or have more to offer to a woman than you do, and it’s important to know how to overcome and abandon jealousy in other situations, as it will help you act the right way in many other specific cases where you get jealous in both casual dating situations and in long-term relationships.

Related Posts

  • Good point. Only a small minority of girls like it when the guy they are with is jealous and controlling, because to them it means that he loves them, cares about them and doesn't want to lose them to another guy. Of course, a little bit of jealousy is ok, but overall – there are far better ways to show love…

  • studentandteacher

    Acting jealous when another guy flirts with your girl proves two things:
    1. You show that you don’t trust your date can make the decision by herself to turn down that guy.
    2. You show that you think your date is fickle and would easily choose another guy in a heartbeat.
    3. You are insecure and you feel that you are easily replacable. A guy who is irreplacable know that no matter what guy his date is talking to, she won’t find someone like him.

    When a guy stares or flirts with your date
    Most guys exude this kind of body language: “Step away or I will hurt you”
    Instead, exude this body language: “Yeah, she’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

    If a guy ever flirts or talks to my date, I do nothing and let my date handle it. Because she is an adult and doesn’t need a man to make her decisions for her.

    The ONLY reason a guy should EVER intervene is if the guy is harassing her, being rude to her and/or he is not leaving when she tells him to.