Most sources of dating advice suggest that bars and clubs are by far not the best places to meet women. I can’t disagree with that. Noise, alcohol, and the stigma that is generally associated with being picked up by a guy at a bar doesn’t really help guys meet women in those places. Even the most open-minded women would usually rather meet a guy in any other place than a bar or a club.
Having said that, I recognize that the idea of meeting a woman at a bar or on a dance floor is very enticing and exciting to many guys. Seeing plenty of attractive, seductively dressed women in an environment that is supposed to be conducive to meeting and flirting is always on a guy’s mind when he is out. The problem is that most guys seem to actually reduce their changes of meeting women in bars and club by making three fundamental mistakes that are so easy and so important to avoid:
1. Looking for the busiest bar that has the most people. Most guys who find themselves on a strip full of bars, “window shop” to find the busiest bar to hang out, assuming that just because there are more women in a particular bar, the chances of meeting one or more of them will be higher simply because it’s “packed.” However, it is far easier to meet and talk to a girl at a quieter, lower-key lounge where there are fewer people, less noise and hustle and bustle, less distractions and less competition. After all, being able to focus your attention on each other is such a crucial part of approaching and meeting women anywhere, including bars and clubs. Besides, if you develop the skills and the confidence to approach, meet and start conversations with women, you won’t need a hundred women around you in order to make a move. Even five attractive women are plenty to consider. And if you don’t have the necessary skill, then even being the only guy at a bar among hundreds of women is not going to be of much help in meeting them.
2. Going out late. Somehow we have been taught that the “coolest” people are the last ones to arrive to party. Perhaps this applies to fashion shows, business conventions and some other events, but when it comes to meeting women in bars, you are much better off arriving early. You will notice that earlier in the evening, the ratio of guys to women is much more favorable to you. Also, women are sober at the beginning of the night and they are actually likely to remember who they are talking to and what they are saying. So if you approach women early at night, you will be talking to their real self and not their “alcohol mask.” As night goes on, women will start leaving and the guys will start arriving, and your chances of meeting a girl will diminish, so take advantage of the earlier time in the evening to meet women. Some guys would say to this: “Well, if I meet a girl that early in the evening, I will have to talk to her the whole night.” No, not at all! Why would you? There is nothing wrong with, and it’s even preferable that you don’t impose yourself on a woman the entire evening and you don’t abandon your friends that you went out with, but instead – you talk with a girl you met for about 20-30 minutes, get her contact information, say “It was nice meeting you, I will talk to you soon” and both of you go back to your group of friends. Be sure that unless she is really desperate or really wants to have sex that night, she will also be happy to get back to her friends.
3. Going to the same bars and clubs over and over again. If you have been going to the same two or three bars for months or even years without being able to meet women, guess what – it’s probably a good idea to consider changing the scene. It might be worth driving for 20-30 minutes outside of your area to find newer places that might be more interesting and more conducive to meeting women. It might be a good idea to stop thinking that some bars are too “trashy” and others are “too upscale” for you and give them a chance. Expand your circle of the places you consider to go to at night, and it will make your outing much more interesting. Going to the same bars where you never meet any women is especially “inexcusable” if you live in a large metropolitan area where you have many choices and many options when it comes to bars and clubs.
4. Going out with the same people over and over. Did you notice how some of your friends bring out the best in you, whose company makes you happy and puts you in a positive mood, while the company of others takes you down and/or make you feel less confident and less attractive. I would not suggest that you should select your friends and build social relationship based on how much your friends contribute to your ability to meet women in bars and clubs, but ideally you want to go out more with those people whose company is conducive to making you want to take action when you are out, and approach and meet people, rather than stay back and/or complain about how there is no one to meet and how no one wants you.
Avoiding the above four mistakes when going out to meet women in bars and club is very simple and doesn’t require any extra effort, but it will significantly increase your chances of meeting more and better women when you are out.