Neediness is rather a common epidemy. One of my girlfriends called me in tears some time ago. Another boyfriend had broken up with her and she was clueless of the real reason. "He never returned my calls" she tearfully said. "How many times did you call him" I asked. I was suspicious already of the answer. "About four times! And he didn't bother calling me back once!" ...and she was still wondering why he hasn't called.

I'm sure we all know someone like my friend. The sad problem is she doesn't even know that she is showing neediness, and it is a sure way to turn off men. Just like women who go "ew" when a guy keeps calling over and over, men have a series of pre-conceived notions about a woman who calls too often: "She is a psycho, she will start talking about commitment on a third date and will wonder why I don't propose to her in a few weeks. I must avoid trouble like her."

My friend (and many other women like her) has a big fear of being left, because it has happened time and time again in the past. And each time another guy stopped seeing her, she only become needier. She is trapped in a vicious cycle, and she doesn't know how to get out of it.

Being needy in a relationship isn't about wanting to talk to someone numerous times a day; it is about needing constant reassurance that your partner loves you or that you are attractive to him. Many people are conscious of their neediness but unsure of how to handle it.

You could take things to the other extreme, like playing hard to get, not returning phone calls and acting otherwise more unavailable than you really are like "The Rules" precscribe. This will hardly lead to any positive results. Being unavailable is a turn-off to any guy with a healthy self-esteem and self respect who is not interested in dealing with time management issues of a woman and who knows that if not you, there will be another woman who will have the time to see him. So, try to strike a happy balance.
Desperation is a huge turn-off, as is acting as if you are not interested. Many people get it wrong and jump from one extreme to the other, forgetting that like in many other aspects of life, moderation might just be a great idea.

The longer you are with a guy, trust should naturally build up. You need to respect the other
person 's time and their life outside of being with you. Don't ask for reassurance all the time! Questions such as, "Do you love me?" and "Do you find me attractive?" are not necessary and they actually make you come across as very needy and much less attractive than you really are. If your partner didn't like you, or love you, he wouldn't be with you now! After all, the only thing that must keep him around you is his desire to be with you.

If you have just met a guy, give him some space. Otherwise, you will see the first signs of wanting out very soon. You don't need to call one another every day until and unless you develop a meaningful connection. Don't rush with commitment talk but instead - observe the guy's actions and decide whether or not his behavior towards you suggest that having a meaningful relationship between the two of you is feasible and desireable down the road.

Become a good judge of character. What seems fine to one person can be perceived as needy to another. A good way to stop being needy in a relationship is to contantly look back at your prior relationships and remind yourself of the mistakes you have done in the past, their consequences and of the importance of avoiding the same mistake in your current relationship. Don't forget how your neediness scared your previous partner away. Do you want that to occur again? Of course not!
Stop asking for reassurance! Part of being a confident and an attractive woman is not being concerned about how wanted you are but knowing that you are because you deserve to be.

Finally, have a life outside your relationship. Don't neglect your hobbies and things doing which made you happy throughout your life before you were in any given relationship. Betraying doing things you are passionate about is unnecessary and undesirable no matter what your romantic situation is because you can only be an attractive person who deserves to be in a great relationship when you are true to yourself. And you are only true to yourself when you do what you enjoy doing!