I am sure you have heard a guy use the term “unapproachable” in reference to a woman. Most guys who go out will see that many of the women who are out in fact look “unapproachable.” There are different names for essentially the same phenomenon in women’s behavior – “stuck up”, “snobbish”, and “high maintenance” are just some of them.
While some women make the conscious choice of looking unapproachable, as they don’t want to talk to any guys when they are out, many girls make themselves look “over the top” because they mistakenly believe that this kind of showing of power makes them more attractive and more likely to meet that great guy who they could date and potentially have a relationship with. This belief that looking “decked out” and having the runway model look on their face is reinforced by the media and particularly by such sources as Victoria Secret commercials and beauty magazines, both of which convey the idea that a very attractive woman should have that almost condescending expression on her face, and the demeanor of “I am hot. You want me and you know it, but you can’t have me.” It is naive for a woman to expect to not be objectified by the men around her, if she does everything she can to come across as an object. While on the most primal level, men would find this kind of demonstration of confidence to be intriguing and even sexually arousing, they will be less likely to initiate a contact with a woman who carries herself like a princess, and even if they do – their interaction with a woman will be affected by the woman’s demeanor. So, while you may think that having that “attitude” when you are out makes you sexier and more attractive, it will most likely have the opposite effect on the men around you. The less confident ones will be intimidated by your posture, and the more confident guys will pay much more attention to your appearance than what’s inside of you, which is probably not what you are looking for.
Having a tough girl look on your face – the one a fashion model would have when walking down the runway – while might make you feel powerful and special, will hardly invite a friendly guy to have a nice, natural conversation with you. But standing out at a bar, bookstore, a bus stop or anywhere else as a friendlier woman with a warm energy, a smile and a friendly attitude, will necessarily invite more attention from the opposite sex. And while some of that attention will not be the kind you want or from the guys you would like to talk to – at the very least you will have more options to choose from.
Coming across at stuck up is hardly ever attractive, and most people will perceive it as a sign of insecurity or an attempt to overcompensate for the lack of “status” that the tough attitude is supposed to project.
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This is all pie in the sky. There is one line in this piece that says it all: “I am hot. You want me and you know it, but you can’t have me.” That is THE definition of unapproachable.
With this kind of premise, does anyone have to ask why women are so open in their hostility to men?