I am sure you have heard guys use the terms “unapproachable”, “stuck up”, “snoody”, “intimidating” in reference to certain women who they find it difficult or impossible to approach and meet because of a certain energy that those women radiate. Most guys who go out will see that many of the women who are out in fact look unapproachable.
While some women make the conscious choice of looking unapproachable for a very good reason, as they don’t want to talk to any guys when they are out because of the types of lame guys that approach them, many girls make themselves look over-the-top glamorous because they believe that this kind of showing of their power and beauty makes them more attractive and more likely to meet that great guy who they could date and potentially have a relationship with. This belief that looking “decked out” and having the runway model look on their face is reinforced by the media and particularly by such sources as Victoria Secret commercials and beauty magazines, all of which suggest that a very attractive woman should have that almost condescending expression on her face, and the demeanor of “I am hot. You want me and you know it, but you can’t have me” in order to be attractive and wanted. This kind of behavior however is likely to backfire more than anything else. It is naive for a woman to expect to not be objectified by the men around her, if she does everything she can to come across as an object of beauty and sexual desire/dominance. While on the most primal level, men would find this kind of demonstration of confidence to be intriguing and even sexually arousing, they will be far less likely to initiate a contact with the woman who carries herself like some kind of royalty, and even if they do – their interaction with a woman will be affected by the woman’s demeanor. So, while you may think that having that “attitude” when you are out makes you sexier and more attractive, it will most likely have the opposite effect on the men around you. The less confident ones will be intimidated by your posture, and the more confident guys will pay much more attention to your appearance than what’s inside of you, which is probably not what you are looking for.
Having a “tough girl” look on your face – the one a fashion model would have when walking down the runway – might make you feel powerful and special, but it will also almost never encourage a normal guy to have a nice, natural conversation with you that goes beyond how you look. On the other hand, standing out at a bar, bookstore (while a few of these are still around), a bus stop or anywhere else as a friendlier woman with a warm energy, a smile and a friendly attitude, will necessarily invite more attention from the opposite sex. And while some of that attention will not be the kind you want or from the guys you would like to talk to – at the very least you will have more options to choose from.
Coming across at stuck up is an effective shield against unwanted male attention but it also keeps the other kind of attention away – that one that you want to have. Further, that kind of unapproachable attitude can be also perceived as a sign of insecurity or an attempt to overcompensate for the lack of “status” that the tough attitude is supposed to project. This is especially true of that woman also acts uptight.
As mentioned earlier, being friendlier has its risks of inviting an unwanted attention from guys who you want to stay away from as far as possible. But, if you learn how to handle that unwanted attention gracefully, i.e. – ignoring it on some occasions, and simply saying that you have a boyfriend on other occasions, you will then be able to enjoy the many aspect of the kind of attention that actually flatters you and increases your chances to meet many more great men out there in just about any casual situation.