Stuck-Up Women Are Not Attractive to Guys You Are Interested In

(Last Updated On: 11/17/2016)

stuck-up womenI am sure you have heard guys use the terms “unapproachable”, “stuck-up”, “snoody”, “intimidating” in reference to certain women who they find it difficult or impossible to approach and meet because of a certain energy that those women radiate. Most guys who go out will run into many stuck-up women, who look completely unapproachable, especially in big cities.

While some women make the conscious choice of looking unapproachable for a very good reason, as they don’t want to talk to any guys when they are out because of the types of lame guys that approach them, many girls make themselves look that way because they believe that this kind of “cool” attitude makes them more attractive and desirable. This belief that looking “decked out” and having the runway model look on their face is reinforced by the media and particularly by such sources as Victoria Secret commercials and beauty magazines, all of which suggest that a very attractive woman should have that almost condescending expression on her face, and the demeanor of “I am hot. You want me and you know it, but you can’t have me” in order to be attractive and wanted. This kind of behavior however is likely to backfire more than anything else.  It is naive for a woman to expect to not be objectified by the men around her, if she does everything she can to come across as an object of beauty and sexual desire/dominance. While on the most primal level, men would find this kind of demonstration of confidence to be intriguing and even sexually arousing, they will be far less likely to initiate a contact with the woman who carries herself like some kind of royalty, and even if they do – their interaction with a woman will be affected by the woman’s demeanor. So, while you may think that having that “attitude” when you are out makes you sexier and more attractive, it will most likely have the opposite effect on the men around you. The less confident ones will be intimidated by your posture, and the more confident guys will pay much more attention to your appearance than what’s inside of you, which is probably not what you are looking for.

Having a “tough girl” look on your face – the one a fashion model would have when walking down the runway – might make you feel powerful and special, but it will always discourage a normal guy from having a nice, natural conversation with you On the other hand, standing out at a bar, bookstore (while a few of these are still around), a bus stop or anywhere else as a friendlier woman with a warm energy, a smile and a friendly attitude, will necessarily invite more attention from the opposite sex. And while some of that attention will not be the kind you want or from the guys you would like to talk to – at the very least you will have more options to choose from, because friendlier attitude will attract more attention from all types of guys.

Coming across as stuck-up is an effective shield against unwanted male attention but it also keeps the other kind of attention away – that one that you want to have from all the many good men that are out there. Further, that kind of unapproachable attitude can be also perceived as a sign of insecurity or an attempt to overcompensate for the lack of “status” that the tough attitude is supposed to project. This is especially true of that woman also acts uptight.

As mentioned earlier, being friendlier has its risks of inviting an unwanted attention from guys who you want to stay away from as far as possible. But, if you learn how to handle that unwanted attention gracefully, i.e. – ignoring it on some occasions, and simply saying that you have a boyfriend on other occasions, you will then be able to enjoy the many aspect of the kind of attention that actually flatters you and increases your chances to meet many more great men out there in just about any casual situation.

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About practicalh

Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.

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  • Seeking It

    who cares let then enjoy their cats and cry about the lack of make attention at 50

  • Nicholas S

    I just read this article with great interest, and I am at a loss for an answer. I will approach women who act stuck up because a) they’re hot as hell, and b) maybe our interaction could lead to something long-lasting. In the end though, I’ve had limited success with this strategy of approaching and sparking up a convo. Most have boyfriends or aren’t interested. It’s all in the numbers though, and perhaps I’ll come across the right one some day either in person or online, on an app, etc. It’s very much a numbers game. And believe me when I say it’s a game. I win some and I lose some. Believe me when I say I’ve lost more than I’ve gained (32, never married and no kids), but then again, what does it matter? The time comes when getting a Friend With Benefit or some other NSA hookup takes care of the anxiety. It all takes work, and you never know when the right match will come along, so I just keep playin’ this fucked up game.

  • Rick Enriquee

    Exactly. Same here. Females really just don’t care or get it that they are now they problems. They’re stuck up evil snobs racist shallow ignorant, (the attractive slim ones, and white or asian or other races, you all don’t care of get that being black and wanting interracial ATTRACTIVE (meaning not a bbw) dating is impossible for BLACK men(ME)) It’s seriously fucked up that females just don’t care what a man wants. Its all about them, aka stuck up self centered-bitches. They don’t like when men that have the balls to be different and call them out on their horrible bullshit theses females are on. Especially on the entirely TRUE topic of white or asian or other race attractive slim females being racist and shallow and stuck up. No matter how nicely politely respectful genuinely sweet or anything you try. Or even if you don’t. Females really just don’t get it, they want jerks because attractive slim beautiful white or asian females are all assholes and bitches and jerks themselves or they are just shallow stuck up ignorant racist assholes. Im so pissed off females put a real truly rare great guy (me) through this hell and being so very alone because attractive white or asian or other race females are the way they all are.. assholes, stuck up. They won’t be humble or care to show you one is understanding or different and show me one slim attractive white or asian females (because its what I want and Im tired of black females..yet white or asian or other race females slim attractive females just don’t care or get it) Im so pissed off females make it the way they make it for us truly rare great men because they just don’t care or want to listen. Females really just don’t get it.. they are the reason they don’t have a real rare great man and never will because they just wont notice me and be what I ask or try for or want.. they make truly rare great men have to give up on females entirely because they’re all the way they are and Im sick and tired of forever all my life settling for fat unattractive and only black females. Females really just don’t care that they are horrible people..completely.

  • Rick Enriquee

    Females (attractive slim white or other race females) they ALL ARE its a fact, delusional, arrogant, stuck up bitches.. feminist assholes.. and They make men, truly rare great men have to give up on dating/sex/relationships because these females these days ARE NOT women. Nor do they know how to listen at all. Females listen to other females and thats the problem. Females just don’t get it and are stuck up and are killing this world

  • Tval

    Point taken…but I apparently convinced one man to stick around. 🙂

  • Thanks for sharing your thoughts and that sounds like an interesting idea indeed. If only all men could conspire like that, who knows – maybe it would be effective. I do have one thought for those women who are sweet on the inside but appear angry on the outside. What matters at first as how you appear, because if you look unapproachable / angry / stuck-up, no one will want to find out what you are like on the inside.

  • Tval

    I think I should point out as a woman that facial expression is not necessarily an indication of what’s going on inside – at least not from a friendly/stuck-up standpoint. I’ve been told most of my life that I look stern, angry, or even confused at times, simply because this is my “default” expression when my facial muscles are relaxed, or I’m just concentrating or thinking about something in particular (which is most of the time). I’m willing to reciprocate politely if someone strikes up a conversation (although I am married, so I don’t encourage flirting), but I’m not an outgoing person and I may not be as friendly to a man who comes across as arrogant or phony. But I can empathize with those who have had negative run-ins with women, because I’ve had them, too – with women who bit my head off for offering helpful information or otherwise responded to me as though I were a moron. I don’t know why they act like this; maybe some Queen Bees just never grow up. Maybe respectable men should boycott beautiful women who treat others dismissively, just as respectable women should boycott jerks – i.e., wife-cheating, temperamental, lazy, etc. men, instead of marrying them and having their babies.

  • Mickey

    What gives me the right to say something like that, you ask? Oh, I don’t know…perhaps my observation of politically correct misandry over the last 25 to 30 years.

    You might be insulted by what I said, but experience doesn’t lie does it? Oh well…

  • A lot of painful truth in your words, Carl. I guess there are things we can’t change. We can’t change certain women and we can’t go back in time and live with previous generations. So, we have to focus on the things you can change. There are still enough women out there who are soft, kind, warm and caring. They are not easy to find but they are out there.
    Some people go to far length to find them, such as moving or traveling to other countries that are known to have those more feminine women.
    I would like to believe that there are still enough women back home, here, in the US that have not been corrupt by media, western civilization and all the magazines that suggest that acting overconfidence and full of yourself is a good idea. Both men and women should understand that as unattractive as insecurity is, overconfidence is far more repulsive, especially if it has nothing to back it with.

  • Carl

    @ practicalh, well there are certainly without a doubt many Stuck Up And Very High Maintenance Women out there nowadays that really think they’re God’s gift to men, but their not. They are very much Losers to me since they have such an Attitude Problem now, and i would certainly say that many of them were Very Abused by the men that they were with at one time. And now they’re taking their problems out on us Good innocent men looking for love. Years ago, many women were raised by good parents back then, so meeting a good woman to settle down with certainly would had been much easier than now. Well most of the woman back then were raised well i would say, and both men and women had to really struggle to make ends meat. Today it is very true that most women want a man with money and will not settle for less,which is the reason why many of us men can’t meet a good woman anymore. And now since many women are very independent, they really don’t need a man to survive since many of them have the high paying job now. I wish that i was born much sooner, then i could had avoided this mess today. Many women had no choice back then since they had to accept their men for who they were, and both men and women hardly had any money at all since they lived with their parents as well. I wish we had a real time machine to send back the women today to see what it was really like, and most of them would had never survived.

  • @ Carl – good point. It’s hard to tell what came first – the pathetic women or the men who treat women badly, financial stress, power trips and media that encourage women to be more manly. I guess this is the time when we should appreciate the good women that are out there all the more, since they are fewer out there than before.

  • Carl

    But if there weren’t so many Pathetic women today that play hard to get with an Attitude Problem, many of us good sincere men would be able to meet a good one.

  • cjbean

    "That's how they really are!!!"

    What gives you the right to say something like that! You have no idea who they are and where they have come from. (In other words, you have INDEED just insulted one of these so called "that's how they are"-women.)

    People are such complex human beings- any educated individual would have a simple grasp of such an idea.

  • Dave

    the problem today is that we need much more women like June Cleaver was, and they were certainly ladies back then.

  • SoSerious

    many of these type of women are just losers anyway, and are not worth meeting at all.

  • Mickey

    Well, is hoping for “the best” a reasonable option when your experience tells you that there’s no such thing (at least in the dating world)? Far better to cut your losses and walk away knowing that there really is no realistic hope for success.


    @Mickey – one helpful tip to maintaining a positive outlook is keeping in mind that bad experiences are a natural part of life. Although some of us are more lucky than others, no one is insured against small or large disappointments, which range from a bad first date to a painful divorce after being together for 10, 15 or more years. All we can do is do our best to be the best we can on our part and hope for the best, while recognizing that bad things may happen and unpleasant surprises is not something that should turn us into a victim of our past and ruin are present and future.

  • Mickey


    What you say is true to a point. But, it certainly does not help gender relations when there are too many women out there who believe that no man is good enough for them. So, how does one maintain a positive, even hopeful dating outlook in the face of all that???

  • Sandra

    Well I'd say if men want women to be friendly they need to be friendly too. Some men are outwardly offensive when a women gives him attention and this turns women off in a major way. What's so funny about this is that the men who are offensive upfront don't have a clue that they are because they are so bitter they don't realize it either. Bottom line, I believe we all have issus and no one can cast a stone else it boomerang and hit you in the head…baaaaammm! Lastly, a lot of women are lesbians because so many men are gay, there again who can cast the first stone? I'm straight but just sayn…

  • franko

    low life women seem to be everywhere nowadays making it much harder for us straight guys that are looking to meet a good woman today, and many of them are certainly LESBIANS NOW.

  • Z

    For a lot of men theres just that certain “look” that instantly turns men off and makes them run. Yeah she COULD be nice but that “look” is a deal killer cause to men that “look” is that snobbish bitch look and with that “look” even if she wants him to approach her men are like watch a bitch. No way in hell will we even approach her cause she has that smug smile that instantly to men is a huge turnoff. These days if women want any kind of chance with men they have to LOOSEN up their attitudes a LOT, they must become more feminine NOT feminists BUT feminine, have a pleasant smile, not a (you come to me I’ll bite your head off), must be relaxed, approachable, easy to talk with (no one sided conversations), and women SERIOUSLY need to QUIT being so fast to judge. WAY, WAY too many women these days want to be able to tell if he’s BF or more within like 5 min and if he’s not “perfect” too many women want to stomp and throw a little two year old tantrum. Men are like WTF like (I just started talking to you, naturally were nervous (women don’t deny it you also get nervous), were not “exactly” sure what to talk about (as many women think guys should just have a “perfect” conversation) and then so many women get all huffy cause the conversation was choppy. Yes WOMEN you MUST “hang” with HIM more than one date and as MUCH AS YOU WANT TO THINK YOU CAN TELL IF HE’S DATABLE. WOMEN these days are way way way to QUICK to judge. Judge after the second or third date after you have actually hung out and actually gotten to know each other.

  • X

    “maybe you are the ones who watch too much romance and want a happy faced woman all the time !! talking abt media impact huh?”

    Too much romance???? For men these days within the last um 5 to like 8 years women have tried to become “men” and want all this total “independence”. It’s such a turn for men with women trying to be “men” and totally “independent” were not saying loose all “independence” that’s not at all what men want but at the same time men want women that act and have feminine traits NOT Feminists. There’s a big difference to men with women that ACT feminine (nice, cute, sexy and certainly LADY LIKE), most feminists is another huge turnoff for men and Feminist women just p*ss men off. Also the tides have totally taken a 180 degree turn in with women now days not wanting to SETTLE and more men are ready to settle, marry and start the family.

  • Wonderful

    I googled ways to deal with an ego centric woman (a friend of mine), and I found myself reading this article and also the comments lol and I'am a woman! she is a good friend, very sweet to the people she cares about but sometimes she acts like she owns the world, I'm the opposite and I get sooo shy esp in public but anyways I just want to tell the guys who are fed up by stuck up women that you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. Appearances are a false way to determine if a person is nice or stuck up and aren't you guys being superficial by judging women? I mean on the basis of their walk or talk? a woman is a human being that needs more than 2 dates or two conversations to know your essence if you meet a guy and you are guy yourself I'm sure that you'd need more than two times to call him your buddy or friend, right? you need time and proof that the person matches with your personality (what if you discover on da third gathering that he is an intorvet and you are an extrovert? he can watch football and give you laugher with his witty comments but the guy don't like to play the game unlike you who want to show off your skills or compete !!) Plus, Women deal today with a lot of things and they have it hard as well as you men, yes IT IS HARD and if it is hard for you men, then imagine how hard it is for us !! So don't expect a woman walking fast with a stuck up cold face to be merry and do a cute walk just because some men are in the presence (and Catwalks have nothing to do with it!) that woman is probably thinking to herslef: Damn! I need to run because I'm late but I'm wearing a skirt and these damn heels.. ugh because It would be stupid to go to work with flipflops and why did I park my car too damn far from the company? oh wait! the car! I forgot the paperwork in it shiiiiiiiiit! I must go back now! I'm sooo gonna be late, no promotion this month either to buy that amazing… *runs and heels stuck and kisses the floor!) No! but seriously I just made that up but It's veeeeeeeeery similar to what is going on in her mind, it's not like when a woman sees a man she goes like "oh wait, I need to act stuck up now" and wait, why do you guys want a happy faced woman anyway? that's not a person that's a doll ! maybe you are the ones who watch too much romance and want a happy faced woman all the time !! talking abt media impact huh? just to finish this In reality we have a hard time you don't like unhappy faced women and life goes on and trust me I'm a woman and the truth is that if you talk to a woman inspite of her "stuck up walk" or made a witty comment and she keeps being stuck up, then she IS stuck up and you need to move on because the nice women do exist behind those cold looks and walks! 😉 there goes my 2cents and I never found the article I came here for…

  • Mickey

    "The problems is that even if how they come across initially is not the way they really are, it hurts these women just as much."

    I seriously doubt that. When most women give off a vibe of general unfriendliness, that's no act. That's how they really are!!!

  • Mickey

    I couldn’t agree more!!! Women can’t stand men, and are quick to blame every man for everything gone wrong in women’s lives.

    The sexes are so polarized in this day and age, and male bashing has replaced baseball as the national pastime. It seems now that anytime a man wants to seek female companionship, here’s what happens:

    1) He gets laughed at.
    2) He gets cursed at.
    3) He gets sued for sexual harassment.
    4) He’s automatically branded as an oppressor and sexual predator.
    5) All of the above.

    The end result appears to be that, on average, women tend to think of men as worthless at best, and horrible as usual. With all the man hating vitriol that’s out there, is it any wonder that a lot of guys have completely given up on love and romance?

    I admit this up front: I DO NOT BELIEVE that there is a soulmate out there and I’ve long since lost all hope that men and women are supposed to be on the same team.

  • Mack

    Re so very much true: "so many women today are just no good stuck up bitches, why is that ladies? Hate men? women have become so nasty and have a very bad attitude these days."

    Yup yup yup!!! Very true. Why is it these last 5 to 7 years so many (obviously not all) but a lot of single women are so stuck up and downright complete bitches even before they say hi to a guy. They have that arrogant I'm looking for (the non existent "Mr. Perfect"), me me me, nose stuck up in the air and just like the picture above have "that shitty walk". I can tell ya though karma's a bitch and it's coming to bite women in the asses sooner than later. Men these days are PLAIN SICK AND TIRED OF SINGLE WOMEN'S SHIT!! Men are tired of single women blaming men!!! If you want someone to blame, blame your OWNSELF for your eff up's and knock it off blaming things on everyone else and the world. A big clue to women with that stuck up bitch, nose in the air and "that walk" even the "hot men" women so want and constant "hold out" for those men are even turned off by that shitty attitude. It's no wonder there are so many single women these days. They have their "requirements" set way way to high they are sooo unattainable and it's not Men's fault it's your own damn fault.

    If you single women want any kind of "long term" relationships you have to give men a CHANCE (more than 5 or 10 min). The only way women these days have a chance with men is if they actually get rid of most of their "fantasy requirements" and actually hang with him (more than one date). So many single women think they have this "control" when finding men and actually I think more and more these days the tides are slowly turning into men's favor cause you hear a lot how women are so frustrated with men "running" from them. You wonder why women?????? When you don't give a time of day to actually truly get to know HIM, and have those ginormous unattainable "requirements" men will constantly RUN from you and it's actually putting power into men's hands cause men are like s*rew you, why even put much of any effort into the date or getting to know you if all your going to do is like after 10 min do the constant um nope not right blah blah blah. Men are SICK OF the women that have that constant "dash" and run and looking for that ONE guy that has ALL THOSE "requirements" won't happen!!!


    @ Earl.
    Thanks for your feedback. To follow up, quite a few women out there say that they come across as shy and unapproachable or stuck up but in reality they are quite sweet and nice and approachable. The problems is that even if how they come across initially is not the way they really are, it hurts these women just as much. A typical guy will not know how a woman he never met or doesn’t know well is, and all he has to go by is those initial signs based on her mannerisms and body language. Whether these signs truthfully reflect who she is will not change the fact that it will discourage the guy from making a move.

  • Earl

    Totally agree with this article!!! Women that walk like that lady in that picture is an INSTANT deal killer for men. Men are like screw her (want absolutely nothing to do with her) even though she’s hot men can tell she is an outright bitch. Those type of women that have “that walk” in the picture are so pissed off at the world, think they are the hottest thing on earth. There are way too many single women these days that have this horrible downright shitty attitude and so pissed off at the world and look for that BS fantasy “Mr. Perfect” that never ever exists.

    “many girls make themselves look “over the top” because they mistakenly believe that this kind of showing of power makes them more attractive and more likely to meet that great guy who they could date and potentially have a relationship with.”

    Yup totally true and men are like um hell NO. Women that show “power” is such a turnoff. Women with some power is sexy but in a completely DIFFERENT way. Women having that “I’m all that”, the “I’m Miss Perfect”, the “I’m always right”, the constant blamer on everyone but herself. All those HUGE HUGE HUGE TURNOFF and men can peg that shit out from a mile away and will run so fast from them.

    Men these days are sick of a lot of these women’s shit attitudes, stuck up, pissed off and thinking since they are a lady they are just “self deserved”. Men are just fed up with these kind of women and there are too many of them

  • Anonymous

    I so agree with this article. I never understood why women walk around like that.

  • so very much true

    so many women today are just no good stuck up bitches, why is that ladies? hate men?are many of you lesbians? which i think most of you women are, just by the way that you women have become so nasty and have a very bad attitude today. we men cannot blame ourselves, since i myself seem to meet very nasty women when i go out. then again, you type of women are just losers anyway. just sayin.

  • Mickey

    This is all pie in the sky. There is one line in this piece that says it all: "I am hot. You want me and you know it, but you can't have me." That is THE definition of unapproachable.

    With this kind of premise, does anyone have to ask why women are so open in their hostility to men?