If you have read / listened to any dating advice available on the market, you must be already familiar with the idea that a man’s body language is very important and in fact – much more important than the words he uses when it comes to flirting, attracting and seducing women.

Indeed, our mannerisms, the way we move, sit and stand when we interact with others communicates to people many things about who we are. Next time you are out, just look at any man or woman, watch their behavior for a few moments and you will see that you can’t help but start assuming certain things about them – are they happy or sad, arrogant or humble, down to earth or snobbish, shy or outgoing, confident or insecure? When a woman sees a man, she unconsciously makes those assumptions, and those assumptions in large determine whether she will be attracted to the guy or not. Does he come across as confident or insecure, happy or depressed, ambitious or indifferent? Thus, the impression you make on a woman with your body language is very important to creating attraction between the two of you.

It is unfortunate, however, that most, if not all, dating advice sources suggest that the right way to improve a man’s body language and make it attractive is by doing just that – working on your body language and making you move differently. The reason that this approach usually proves ineffective is twofold: First, our body language is a natural extension of who we are and how we feel about ourselves. Acting a certain way when you don’t feel that way is necessarily going to come across as fake and is going to make your body language look even worse than when the way it naturally is. Secondly, it’s impossible to “fake” it for prolonged periods of time. You simply can’t think about how you move all the time. Thus, as soon as you stop keeping your body language in mind, you will naturally go to your old habits of carrying yourself the way you are used to.

Like in virtually all other aspects of life, however, it’s a much better idea to treat the cause of the problem rather than its symptoms and manifestations. Therefore, a much more effective way of going about improving your body language is changing those aspects of your life that directly affect your body language. If you are shy or insecure or lack that masculine energy in your body language that women find so attractive, you should work on building those parts of your life and then – your body language will change naturally as a result thereof. One effective way to raise your level of confidence and self esteem is to have some kind of meaningful growth – some kind of progress in your life. It doesn’t really matter what field you are growing and developing yourself in as long as that growth is substantial and meaningful to you. Setting small, achievable goals every day and reaching them will make you feel like you grow. Whether it’s pushing extra 10 lbs on a bench press, or learning a few new dance moves, or finishing reading or writing an essay, or learning a few new expressions in a foreign language – any growth, any progress will make you feel better about yourself and will necessarily have a positive effect on your body language.

So, start with creating growth and becoming better and stronger in as many parts of your life as possible, and your body language might just take care of itself without any conscious effort on your part!