Top 5 Questions You Should Never Ask a Woman on a Date

Many men literally kill attraction between them and the women who they go out with by asking them such questions that communicate all the unappealing and unattractive qualities of those men. To be successful at dating and talking to women, you must absolutely avoid asking those questions that literally kill attraction and any potential for romantic chemistry:

1. “Do you like me?/Am I Your Type?” – this kind of question literally telegraphs a desperate desire for validation and to be liked – a major turn-off to the fast majority of women. When you are out on a date with a woman, you should be able to tell whether she is enjoying your company or not within a relatively short period of time, unless she is extremely shy, so there is no need to ask the “date status” question. But even if you are in doubt, asking this directly should be your last resort and it should be reserved for those situations when you truly get mixed signals.

2. “What kind of guys are you usually dating?” – this is another unattractive question in which you imply that the woman has all the power in deciding whether to “generously bestow” upon you the kind gesture of spending time with you. Even if you don’t intend to, this makes it sound like you are planning to adjust yourself to what she likes so that you can have a chance with her. This will definitely get your interaction off to a wrong start.

3. “What are you looking for in a partner?” – this kind of question will turn any great date into a therapy session and “girl chat” taking your conversation into a heart-to-heart talk that usually girls have over a cup of coffee and which is not conducive to flirting and creating romantic tension at all.

4. “Her: What would you like to do? You: I don’t know. What would you like to do?” – this kind of passive attitude communicates to a woman a man’s total lack of leadership, confidence, direction and desire to court her. This is a major turn-off! Whenever a woman asks you before you go out “What are we going to be doing today?” your answer should be anything BUT “I don’t know. What would you like to do?” Instead, you could say: “It’s a surprised. You will find out soon.” and wink, or say playfully “Does it matter? You will be with me, so you will have a good time.”

5. “What would you like to do next time?” – making plans for your second date during the first date takes away that little power that you have as a man to make a woman wonder and expect your call and seeing you in the future. Instead, by asking this, you make her take you for granted right then and there.

Remember – having great first dates is just as much about what you don’t as about what you do, so by avoiding mistakes that are so easy to not make, you are much more likely to have much better first dates.

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I have asked many women which qualities they find attractive in men and which traits, in their opinion, are the biggest turn-offs. Bragging and arrogance turn out to be by far the most common answers to this question. And this is not surprising. Bragging and talking too much usually go together and besides being simply annoying, indicate a person’s desire to compensate for those qualities that he / she feels she is lacking. This, in turn, indicates one’s great degree of insecurity.

For instance, a person’s obsession with designer clothing might ironically indicate his insecurity about his financial situation and therefore a corresponding desire to make a statement about his success without actual achievement of that success. Thus, wearing high-end clothing is one quick way in which he can show to the outside world that he is doing better financially than he really is.

When a person describes himself as intelligent, it is usually because he feels the need to mention it since he finds it difficult to convey his intelligence in a much more effective way – through his actions.

Similarly, bragging and talking too much are some of the most unattractive qualities in both men and women. These flaws are easy to discover and they become apparent and irritating as early as a first date.

I have met quite a few beautiful women in my life. Many of them had a lot going for them, but I simply couldn’t stand some of them shortly after I met them because they would simply not… shut up. They would completely dominate the conversation and would go into the greatest detail about their lives and accomplishments that was far too personal to disclose to someone like me, who they didn’t know very well. That single trait of excessive talkativeness would completely turn me off and would “neutralize” all of the other great qualities that I saw in those women.

Don’t take me wrong. I do not advocate excessive modesty and I do not suggest that you should undermine your achievements and your self-worth. I wish to encourage you, however, to acquire and demonstrate class and subtlety in your behavior which are very attractive qualities in a romantic partner. By allowing your potential or existing partner to find great things about you gradually – from your actions and from the overall story of your life and not from your words – you will project the very attractive quality of confidence in yourself and in your accomplishments. It will then become obvious to your dating partners that you do not have the need to prove anything to anybody since you have already proven your skills and abilities to yourself and to the world.

Some or even all of the information you are going to find in this article might be obvious to you and something that doesn’t require any explanation. However, having seen how often women make these small mistakes on first dates that turn into turn-offs, I feel that it’s my duty to discuss them:

1. Multi-tasking during the first phone conversation. When the guy calls you for the first time after meeting you and is getting your number, he will be both excited and anxious to talk to you. No one feels “special” when it’s obvious to them that your mind is elsewhere when you talk on the phone, and watching a movie or checking your e-mail while speaking with the guy on the phone for the very first time is a sure way to turn him off and make him lose interest in you. Make no mistake – it is literally impossible to hide the fact that you are reading something while talking on the phone, or working on the computer. It will be very disrespectful to the other side, but most importantly – it’s so easy to avoid – simply excuse yourself and call the guy back later, when you can talk and focus your attention on him, and when you are not busy.

2. Chewing gum on a first date – doesn’t make anyone, and especially a girl, attractive. Whether you are chewing loudly or quietly with a close mouth, that sound you are making with your mouth simply doesn’t put your best foot forward and makes you come across less “classy” than you would otherwise. And be assured, that coming across as classy is paramount to attracting “quality” men. Surely, chewing gum sounds like a petty thing, but… little things matter a lot at the very early stages of your interaction with a guy and especially on a first date.

3. Answering your cellphone on a first date – this is obviously a rude move unless it’s an absolute emergency, but some girls use it as a safety device to let their friends know that they are fine, made it ok to the date, and are safe. “Reporting” to your friends would make you come across as a child. If you don’t feel safe meeting a guy, then don’t meet him. If it’s a matter of where you meet, then make sure you meet at a public place, where you will be surrounded by other people.

4. Being overly picky – a woman who complains and who nags about the coffee or the meal that she has on a first date, and a woman who takes 20 minutes to figure what to order at a restaurant will come across as high-maintenance and annoying very quickly, and “quality” men have very little tolerance for that behavior. I will not forget one of the things I was so impressed with when I was out with a girl at a restaurant a few years ago: when I asked her what she wanted to have, she glanced at a menu briefly, looked me in the eye, shrugged her shoulders and said: “Whatever you order. I don’t care.” This is not to say that you should not be ordering the food you like and prefer, but placing excessive value and attention on food during your date will suck much of the romance out of that date.

5. Discussing the “process” – if you remember one thing from this article, please remember this – there is no need to discuss the process of dating. Analyzing romance kills it quicker than anything else. So, there is no reason for you to ask a guy on a first date “So, do you do this often? How often do you date? What are you looking for in a woman?” etc… These questions can certainly be answered later, and they have no purpose or value on a first date. Further, asking such questions and talking about dating is a sure way to get into a friends zone with a guy, because… that’s what friends do – talk about dating and relationships.

6. Looking at your watch – looking at your watch while talking to a guy on a date is a sure way to make him feel anything but special for obvious reasons. If you must know what time it is while out with a guy, make sure you check your watch discreetly, especially if you do have a good time on that date, as looking at your watch in front of the guy will likely suggest to him that you are eager to get it over with.

So, make sure you don’t commit the above mistakes and that you avoid these first date turn-offs, and your first dates will be much more likely to go well.