I don’t like blaming either men or women for any negative dating trend in today’s society, because most of the time both sexes are at fault. However, today I would like to blame women for allowing the men they meet to downgrade their interactions or entire relationship to texting. They key words is “allowing”. If women didn’t put up with it – if they didn’t settle for being asked out by a text message, then the men would stop doing it and would do what they should – pick up the phone, talk to you and truly ask you out, at least when it comes to your first few dates, when you are just trying to get to know each other. If you didn’t settle for only getting text messages when you are not seeing each other in person, and if you made it clear that you expect more from your dating partner and from that guy who you are seeing specifically, he will get the message and he will likely appreciate it. Whether a guy knows this or not, if he really likes the girl he is seeing and he is interested in potentially developing a more serious relations with her he is going to enjoy hearing her voice and talking to her on the phone. And if he doesn’t, I would question his interest level.
So, the next guy you meet at a bar or on OkCupid/Match.com and who you give your number to texts you, only respond with one text: “If you want to talk to me, call me.” And the next time the guy you are seeing keeps bugging you with an endless chain of text messages that don’t go anywhere, tell him “I am done texting for today. If you want to talk, you can call me tomorrow.” Guys never hear this because all women seem to tolerate this substandard way of communicating. Somehow, reducing any kind of relationship to chatting on a smartphone became the norm that no one challenges. But if you do – if you refuse to accept it, the right guy will appreciate and will admire this, because he agree that you are right about this.
You will probably push some guys away by calling them on too much texting and not enough calling, but this will just help you filter out all the guys who either can’t handle your tough love or who don’t appreciate the personal touch that hearing a voice has over texting, or both. That’s good news for you, as you probably would not be interested in those kinds of men anyway.