A whole industry exists out there focusing on advising men on the best way to approach women in bars and clubs. In large part, the industry is so successful because bars and clubs are indeed challenging places for guys to meet women for at least two main reasons: (1) women have their guards up because of the stigma associated with meeting guys in bars, which means that you will face an initial skepticism or a “wall” when trying to talk to a woman at a bar; and (2) it is hard to find the words to open a conversation at a bar as the environment is not conducive to making an observation about what is going on. A typical guy sees many attractive women at a bar, but never approaches any of them because he simply doesn’t know what to say to open a conversation even when he gets signs of interest from a woman, such as eye contact and smile.
Instead of battling the above obstacles and trying to figure out how to overcome them, there is a much easier and far more effective way to approach and meet women in bars and clubs, and that is through a female friend. Make at least one great female friend, whose company you enjoy and who likes to go out. Ideally, she would be someone single who does not mind making new friends. Then, when you go out together, you can simply point out a group of girls and ask her to strike up a conversation with them. It is much, much easier for a girl to strike up a conversation with another girl, because the dynamics of that conversation will be completely different – your female friend faces no rejection or the guards that a man would face in her place as women do not have guards against other women (unless you are at a lesbian bar).
Your friend will have a conversation with the girls for a few minutes and if she likes them, she can simply gesture you to approach and introduce you to one or more girls. This will completely change the way you are perceived. You will be completely skipping the initial barrier, you will have the immediate approval of all the girls, as you must be safe if you have a female friend, and you will not have to “hit” on anyone. You can simple talk to one or more of the girls and figure out if there is a mutual interest between you and any one of them.
Frankly, I am surprised that more guys do not do this, and prefer to simply linger around women, staring at them and trying to figure out how to start a conversation with them night after night, instead of short-cutting the whole process and eliminating that phase altogether.
It is important that your female friend doesn’t tell any of the girls that you are actually interested in meeting one of them. Most women consider a guy who is unable to approach a woman on his own and needs a third person to start a conversation to be a sign of unattractive insecurity. Your female friend must open a conversation to just be friendly and social without having any apparent agenda of hooking you up. After all, whether you meet someone you like or not, she might make a good friend or two among all the girls she is talking to.