Since texting has become the dominant mode of communication when it comes to, at least, the initial stages of dating, following the six simple texting rules below should help you make the most out of your texting interactions with women and avoid common mistakes that many other men make that sabotage their chances of getting and maintaining a woman’s interest in a big city.
Why do these tips for texting women specifically apply to women in larger metropolitan areas? – Because these are the places where women meet and talk to more men than elsewhere, where they are generally busier, mores stressed out and more overwhelmed by the amount of stuff that’s going on in their lives and around them, and where the competition over their time and attention, not just from men but from their job, friends, media, etc… is likely to be way more fierce.
1. Make sure that your messages are short.
You have heard it a million times, but I will repeat it again – in this age of information overload and shorter than ever attention span, your messages should be short and to the point. This doesn’t mean that your texts should be boring or rude, but there is a clear difference between e-mail messages that can and should include some pleasantries and text messages that should be limited to one or two short sentences. The goal is to make sure that she reads it as soon as she opens it and doesn’t put your message on a back burner to respond to later, because it was too long, and she had to do something or reply to someone else first. Generally, if your message doesn’t fit in the screen of her phone and she needs to scroll down to finish reading, it means that it’s way too long.
2. Make sure that your messages are worth reading.
A short message doesn’t have to be trivial or stupid. Make it count. If the purpose of your text is something other than confirming a meeting or informing her that you are running late, then say something interesting or funny, or both. For instance, imagine that you went out and you had a great time with a girl – you laughed and teased each other quiet a bit. The following day you can send her the following fun text message: “our date really sucked last night, and I plan on definitely not calling you tonight at around 8:30 pm”. Of course this type of text is only appropriate when the right dynamic of fun teasing has been established between the two of you, but this is just one example.
3. Avoid small talk in your text messages
There is no reason whatsoever for you to send the following types of text to anyone: “How is your day?”, “How is it going?” “What are you up to?” etc. anyone. If you want to say something or ask something, just do it. You don’t need to warm up that conversation with any meaningless, cliche, lazy small talk. I assure you that the woman you are texting has read the above types of text messages many, many times before so do not subject her to more of the same. Your goal is to come across as different and more interesting. This can be accomplished as early as your very first text messages, which won’t say what every other guys says
4. Do not follow up on a message that a woman didn’t respond to.
In case you didn’t notice – pretty much all women are glued to their smartphones. This just seems to be part of their nature. Men are like that too of course, but women are even more so. Thus, I assure you that women are very, very good at reading text messages and responding to the messages they want to respond to promptly. Therefore, there is no need to follow up on a text that you sent and didn’t get a response to, unless you know the girl relatively well already and the mutual interest is established, in which case there is no harm in making sure that your message went through. Otherwise, reminding her to respond would make you sound like a pest. And if you think that following up on an unreturned text message is not a big deal, just think of the time when someone did that to you. Wasn’t that at least a bit annoying?
5. Respond to text messages promptly
If you think that only women flake, I have news for you – men can be flaky too. When you make a personal commitment to respond to text messages promptly (within a few hours), you send a message that you are responsible, know how to manage your time, and… you are interested, assuming that you actually are. This doesn’t mean that you have to respond immediately to every single message like some kind of on-call ER doctor, but you generally shouldn’t make your communication with a woman harder due to delays in responding.
6. Do not forget to call at least every now and then
My last and probably the most important tip is this – make sure that you don’t just limit your interaction to texting. The video video below talks about why this tip is so important. (coming soon).