Jul 03 2006
Tips for approaching and dating women at work.
Office romance is one of the most enticing and exciting romantic and sexual fantasies for men. There is something about having an affair with the co-worker that makes it particularly intriguing and even arousing – perhaps in part because it is such a taboo and a “no-no” in many work places and especially in a corporate world.
So, should you approach, ask a woman out who you work with and possibly have an affair in the office with your co-worker, be it your colleague, secretary or even superior? I don’t think there is a unilateral, absolute answer to this question, but I do believe that the following three tips and considerations will be very helpful to you in making that decision.
1. Your company’s policy. Some companies strongly discourage employees from having any romantic relationships between each other. I am not sure about how legal it is to impose a prohibition on employees to have a consensual romantic relationship outside of workplace, but if that’s the policy – you should ask yourself how important and valuable your job is to you. Are you willing to risk being disciplined or even fired for a chance of approaching, dating, and having an affair with a woman you are interested in and working with? What is the likelihood that your co-workers or managers’ attitude toward you will change after they find out that you are romantically involved with your co-worker?
2. The reality of life is that most dating situations don’t work out. This is just part of the dating game. We keep meeting people, starting to date and then ending it for all kinds of reasons. Thus, your next question should be – how uncomfortable will you feel working with a woman who you had some kind of negative interaction or dating experience? If you went out on just one date and you found out that you aren’t really all that into each other, then there will most likely be no hard feelings. However, if you start seeing each other, become intimate, develop feelings toward each other and then break up for one reason or another, there will likely be feelings of resentment between you and her, and a desire to avoid each other. If you work in a large company, avoiding each other might not be that hard. You might be working on different floors or in different buildings. However, if you and that woman are employed in a small office and are forced to see each other all the time, then working next to her might be a serious emotional and professional obstacle for both of you.
3. Having said the above, I see no harm in asking a woman from your office out one time and seeing how things go between the two of you. If you do decide to make a “move,” make sure it’s subtle and indirect. Don’t make it sound like a “date.” Instead, invite her for a coffee / drink after work and a walk in the park or something similar and see how things are going between the two of you. This will allow you to find out if you really like her outside of the workplace without making it look like you are rejecting her if you don’t ask her out again in the future. Then, make appropriate decisions as to what to do next in light of the above factors.
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