Jul 13 2008
Why guys don’t call/disappear after sleeping with a woman (on one-night stands)
Few experiences are more disappointing and frustrating to a woman than meeting an attractive, interesting guy, going out with him, liking him, and ending up sleeping with him to only never hear back from him after that. I hear this kind of story over and over – “We went out. He seemed to be really into me, he was all over me, and we spent an incredible night together, but I haven’t heard from him since. Why do guys do that? I thought he liked me! I did not want it to be a one-night stand”
While I could never tell you how to prevent you from having such disappointments in the future, and I doubt that anyone could, I would like to shed some light of honest reality of what motivates such male behavior. If nothing else, understanding this behavior should help any woman, if not avoid, at least handle this experiences better.
It is important to understand and remember that just because a guy is going out with you, doesn’t mean that he finds you very attractive and that he perceives you as a girlfriend material. It is possible that he does like you, but it’s also possible that he doesn’t have anything better going on at this time, and you are just a “transitory” experience while is looking for someone who he really wants to be with. As cruel and as selfish as it sounds, it’s quite common for guys to do that.
Further, just because a guy you are out with is kissing you, making out with you and is otherwise all over you doesn’t even mean that he finds you very attractive or particularly sexy. You might just be attractive and sexy enough for him for that very moment to satisfy his physical drive, especially if he hasn’t been with a woman in a while. This doesn’t mean, however, that he finds you beautiful, or that he would like to see you again. The same applies to sex. It often doesn’t take for a guy to be crazy about a woman or to find her sexually irresistible in order to have sex with her. A man who is sexually hungry will likely find physical pleasure and satisfaction from having sex with any woman who is not repulsive to him. He will be looking for that single, one-time physical satisfaction from that encounter with a woman, but he will want nothing more from her in the future.
A typical woman might be justifiably mislead by a guy’s affectionate behavior towards her when they start seeing each other, believing that his touching her is a sign of possibly genuine care and a long-term interest, but more often or not, this sensuality is just an attempt to escalate the interaction toward a one-night stand – a one-time sexual experience and nothing further.
Interestingly enough, even guys themselves often don’t know what they want from the woman they are seeing. Their vision might be blurred by a strong lust to the degree where they themselves don’t know what they want until after they satisify their sexual urges. Thus, a guy who thinks that he is interested in dating a certain woman, might change his mind immediately after having sex with her, realizing that he wants nothing else from her but what he just received – again – a one-night stand, but the one that he didn’t plan to have. It can be painful and unfair to women, but he doesn’t really have a control over that.
So, don’t be mislead by a guy’s affection, and don’t judge his intentions about you based on how much you think he is attracted to you at one given evening when you are out, especially if your date takes place before you had sex.
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One response so far
This puts the sad in sadistic