Women keep hearing over and over from guys in different situations that men want to date and have relationships with classy women. Just take a look at most of the men’s dating profiles, and you will see that practically all of them want to meet and date a woman who has “class.” Indeed, being called “classy” is an ultimate compliment to a woman. But, what does it really mean being classy? After searching the internet for an answer to this question, I wasn’t very satisfied, because every attempt to define a “classy woman” had one fundamental flaw – a woman can have all the qualities that make her classy according to those sources and still not have much “class.” The formal definition of being “classy” also doesn’t add much to understanding what class means in the context of dating and attraction.
For instance, being a sharp dresser, clean, and not using profanities are certainly qualities that flatter to a woman, but… they hardly make her come across as having “class,” if she talks too much and constantly draws attention to her persona. Being professional, educated, and having a great sense of humor are very attractive qualities in a woman but if she has temper issues this pretty much cancels out her potential to come across as classy.
I truly believe that just like in the case of distinction between flirting and regular conversation, being classy is not in the “what” but in the “how.” It’s how you act, how you carry yourself, how you express yourself and how you live your life that determines class.
A very small minority of women who don’t have class are able to develop that quality and become truly classy. Doing this requires reflecting on your own self, recognizing those qualities that you are missing and having which would make you more classy (something that few, if any women, would want to do) and working in all the necessary directions to build that attractive flair of class and sophistication.
However, if you believe that you belong to that minority of women who are open to constructive self-criticism and you are willing to take a few practical steps toward becoming more classy, here are some of the fundamental elements of a woman’s personality that makes her more “classy:”
Knowledge, Wit, and Sense of Humor – there is no way around it – perceived class has little weight and value if the person behind it has no interesting thoughts, opinions, views or observations. Being class requires an ability to share and challenge ideas and be an engaging company.
Style – a sense of fashion is an integral part of class. While having an eclectic style may be considered “cool,” if you want to come across as a classy dresser, you can hardly go wrong with a business/casual look or a simple, clean cut, fitting (but not too fitting) attire. Simple, straight colors (white, black, blue) flatter most women.
Feminine demeanor and manners – a classy woman is in touch with her feminine nature. Her mission in life is not in challenging men and competing with men wherever possible; she enjoys pleasing men without feeling ashamed of it, and is proud to be a woman. She recognizes the differences between men and women in psychology, physiology and sexuality and accepts those differences as laws of nature. As such, she does not hate men, and is not overly skeptical or pessimistic about her ability to fall in love and enjoy great romance.
Elegance – this concept, along with femininity and style is hard to define, and the formal definition of “elegance” is again of not much use. Many guys would agree that the know elegance when they see it, but this kind of statement is of little use to a woman who wants to become more elegant. Elegance is the manner in which a woman carries her self in just about every situation. Elegance is in her voice, movement and body language, manner of speech, the way she stands sits, and responds to other people around her. Some of these traits, such as voice, and a walk – are part of our nature, while other elements of elegance, such as our interpersonal skills are strongly linked to our upbringing. Other qualities are acquired through habit or from friends and not all of them can be altered. Observing women who are known to be classy (whether on television or in real life), paying attention and trying to identify the specific elements of the behavior and actions that make them stand out and come across as more classy will take any woman who is willing to become more classy a long way toward that goal. It might be something as small and seemingly insignificant a laughter of an actress that you would notice in a woman that strikes you as so much softer, feminine and attractive than the one you overheard the other night at a bar from a woman whose entire body was covered with tattoos and piercings. However, when it comes to elegance and class, there is no such thing as small and insignificant as class is a sum of many, many elements of one’s personality, behavior, and actions, some of which are more obvious than others, but all of which are essential for the “total package” to be considered elegant and classy.
Hygiene – class cannot coexist with dirt, bad smell and unappealing habits such as burping, spitting in public and alike. The most beautiful woman loses a bulk of her sex appeal when she belches, wipes her knows with her sleeve, or does someone else equally “manly.”
Subtlety – this is one of the most important qualities and distinguishing characteristic of having class. To be classy, you must be subtle in many areas of your life. Subtlety implies a degree of moderation, lack of flamboyance, lack of impulse to attract attention, and generally not trying too hard. A subtle woman has style but she doesn’t look like a designer model; she dresses sexy but does not look trashy like a typical stripper when going out; she puts such a small amount of perfume and make-up that one can barely tell that she has any; she talks just enough but certainly not too much and tends to be on a quite side; her laughter is pleasant to hear but not too loud; she hardly ever swears; and her voice is soft and sensual. A classy woman will usually come across as “low-key” in a social situation. This is not to say that she is shy or lacking confidence. On the contrary – her confidence puts her at ease and relieves her of any desire or need to validate herself to her company.
Success coupled with Modesty and Humbleness – a classy woman does not need to run around and tell everyone how smart and successful she is, as this urge to validate yourself is a clear sign of insecurity and lack of class in both men and women. A classy woman lets her actions, rather than loud words, prove to others who she is, but she is not in a hurry to announce her “status” to the people around her.
Pride – a classy woman knows how to get angry the “right” way. She doesn’t get “ballistic,” abusive or violent with guys, as she knows that there is always a better option – to simply walk away from a bad situation.
Being a classy woman clearly requires work in these and many more avenues of one’s personality, but taking into consideration the above five factors will take you a long way toward becoming a more classy and thus a much more attractive woman to men.
Related posts:
This is an excellent article!
I think you described classiness extremely well! I particularly like your paragraph on humility. Every woman I’ve known who I would describe as having class was so confident in herself that she didn’t need to advertise the obvious and it made being with her such an incredible pleasure and privilege. Thanks for writing this!
Thanks, Bill. I frankly struggled with the definition of “classiness.” I knew right away that it’s more than just one thing and it’s a collection of elements. I talked to a number of people whose opinion I value and respect, so the article was a collaboration of a number of opinions that I thought were appropriate to include in the definition.
I agree, an excellent overview of classy. I appreciate your insight and allowing the reader to look at the word from so many different angles. Kind of like a diamond with many facets that come together and reflect great beauty! Thanks
Good article,though,one thing : I don’t enjoy at all pleasing men,I mean I don’t care if someone likes me or not,and frankly,why should I?!.I’m myself,what I am,why should I seek others’ approval,especially men’s?! Of course,I’m different from men,I don’t challenge or compete them either,but pleasing them…huh,excuse me,I’m not such woman.
Besides,not all guys deserve nice attitude.For instance,if a pervert jerk comes to me and wants an assault,or for example,an immature boy talks to me so impudently,that it would be good to slap him,”simply walk away” isn’t a solution.I must to be willing to protect myself,even fighting to survive physical violence or respond fiercely to verbal insults.I’m not a helpless female,or a Victorian lady.
Only dumb fat women on talk shows describe themselves as “classy”. A truly classy women scoffs at such a dumb word.
I agree with garbo 7127. A truly classy woman scoffs at such a dumb word. And a really classy woman is a feminist, just like Gloria Steinem.
a classy women can work any occassion. If someone comes up to you and they are rude, a simple astounished look and walking away can make a jerk apologize! I have seen it done. I also know someone who got SHOT in the HEAD for being ugly towards someone trying to pick her up. I understand that in assult cases u do have to defend yourself. Unfortunatly this is a man’s world. If we as women would be a little more humble and gentle we would realize that we actually control them! Think about it, Adam and Eve, Sampson and Deliah, The trojan war! Men have been listening to women from the start. It’s about knowing u have the control but being classy enough to let them think they have it! lol
“Classy according to whom?”
I consider myself a classy woman. However I don’t like the fact that this article tends to confine the notion of “classy” to a woman who is constantly pleasing “guys”, not get angry at “guys” etc.
You don’t have to be “low-key” and disappear and please the men to be classy. I totally disagree with that.
I’m afraid I find this very repressive. This may have been the definition of a classy woman in the 1950′s North America but it definitely doesn’t define classy for me.
To me, classy means well-mannered, polite and someone with a broad mond who is not petty, be it a man or a woman.
Thanks for sharing your view. I don’t think the article urges women to constantly please guys or to never get angry at guys or be the shy girl in the corner. At least I don’t see it being written. Perhaps you assume what is not written based on what you thought the author meant when he actually didn’t.
Manners and open-mindedness as certainly essential qualities to being classy but they alone are probably not enough to be considered classy.
This is a very good article, and I realize that you are talking about “classy” in regards to women. But, you have missed a very important part about being a “classy” woman that is so basic in nature to being female.
If you’ll notice the woman’s photo you have with this article, what is THE most basic consideration of this pic? She’s wearing a dress! She’s not wearing pants is she? Why? Because she’s a woman!!!
I’m a girl! I wear dresses and skirts because that’s who I am. I’m proud to say that I’m a girl, and you will never see me wearing pants! Why? Because I’m a girl! There are to be sure certain differences between male and female, and yet the feminist ideal has been trying to destroy these differences for a long time!
And men, to make my point clear, when your looking at a woman is she more feminine, sexy and girly in a dress… or in pants!?
Thank you for sharing your research on the subject. It was an interesting story and like any wise woman, I will take what I can use and apply the rest to a good read.
@ practicalhappiness.com, I agree with your statement Manners and open-mindedness are essential qualities to being classy but not in and of themselves.
This is the same as effectively listening to another person. We can agree to disagree without being rude.
And lastly, my opinion is the words, feminist and classy can be equally “dumb words” just on opposite ends of the spectrum!
Good point about dresses. Although I don’t think that dress v. pants is what makes a woman classy or not classy. There are plenty of ways to be female and feminine when wearing pants, and of course there are plenty of ways to look sexy in jeans / leggings, etc… Dresses do seem to be underused this day and age and when I see a “real” dress on the street, it’s quite refreshing.
Am I the only one who thinks that if this is class, classy is boring. I mean seriously, A woman who is mostly silent sounds like someone I don’t want out on a date!
I’d rather have a rebel woman. It just makes me want her more.
Well, I don’t think the article suggests that a woman should be mostly silent (it would be boring indeed). It only warns against talking too much.
I agree that a classy woman mustn’t respond to anger in a loud and violent way. As a matter of fact, I think that this article is very helpful and a woman who isn’t classy and wants to be should respond positively to constructive criticism.
Not too many classy women exist, much less single ones. I’m not covetous of their husbands, but it would really help to have more classy women out there. The last one I pursued around my age(25) was taken up by another several years ago. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. My solution is for more girls to read this article!
met a lady educated traveled single never married no children 42 asked her for lunch sometime she said for professional reasons she could not do that what does she mean she is a state employee she had a side to her that seemed very feminine but her attitude changed only after a few fove minute talks at her jobsite i was very disappointed found it hard to let go she seems unusual im not professional average working man been married 30 yrs ago have a daughter32 feel i may never meet someone like her again
Great article. A classy woman just needs a balance and not too much of the flaws. Classy is also an image portrayed to the public. Everyone doesn’t have to know you have a temper because classy women don’t have temper tandrums in Public. But great read. Love it!
yikes! Reading this….I’m definitely not classy.
I’ve sweared, competed w/ men, and wear too much make-up. Is it too late to change my image? I wish I could be classy!
I like this article, sad that class is so hard to find. Much of what it’s really about is having good ethics and a mature spirit. A classy person, be it male or female, will have a peacefulness about them, bringing a calmness that is strong enough that others feel it in their own soul. Being around such a person is easy, pleasant, and restful. Some people find this boring?… I can’t understand that, what’s boring about the feeling of being on a tropical vacation all the time??
Thanks for your feedback. I think that admitting to ourselves that we are all a little bit shallow and it’s part of our nature can serve us well in dating and other things.
Pingback: How To Make Guys Want You» Blog ArchiveHow To Make Guys Want You
Thank you for your points of view everyone.
Very thoughtful perspective.
Incredible and clear perspective. Thank you very much, I took note of all points to use as life tools to guide my sister in best path of life. Blessings!!!
Its true. I agree with a lot said here, but the part where you have to take every nasty and ugly attitude men dish out. I respect everyone a lot, so I demand the same from men. And besides – I am a competitive woman. If not, I wouldn’t be the head of an organisation currently, where there are too many men.