Oct 10 2008
What turns men off in bed
There are different reasons why men lose interest in a woman shortly after having sex with her, the most common of which has nothing to do with a woman herself – it’s a man’s natural drive toward novelty and variety when it comes to dating and sexual partners.
But if it’s the long-term, exclusive relationship that the guy is after, a woman’s value as a great sex partner is crucial to maintaining the guy’s interest and having a fulfilling relationship. While there is no universal way to behave in bed, and we all have our own tastes and preferences, there are certain behaviors that uniformly turn men off sexually and make them lose interest in a woman as a partner very quickly. In fact, many guys are not able to “forgive” any of the three mistakes described below and move on as soon as a woman makes one or more of the following mistakes that are major sexual turn-offs to men:
1. Talking too much immediately prior to and during sex - conversation and communication between lovers is a wonderful thing. However, there are times when talking distracts and otherwise hurts romance, passion, and romantic tension between the partner. Intensity and sexual charge require that beautiful silence, which can be easily ruined and disturbed by irrelevant comment or even an innocent joke that “chills” the atmosphere, reducing the sexual desire that was about to culminate when two people are holding each other right before having sex. Do not understimate the power of not talking during and right before sex, unless of course you are saying something provocative that you know will arouse your partner and will make him even hungrier for you.
2. Not letting the guy go down on you. While some guys are not thrilled with the idea of kissing and licking a woman’s intimate areas and even some women don’t enjoy this, for most guys it’s an essential part of a satisfying sexual experience. The more attracted the guy is to you and your body the more eager he will be to “taste” you and the longer it will take him to get “full.” Denying a guy from kissing you and licking you anywhere and everywhere he wants will leave him unsatisfied and will turn the whole experience into a substandards sexual encounter. So if the guy wants to go down on you, let him, invite him and encourage him in your own seductive ways, and learn how to enjoy that as well.
3. Being embarrassed about moaning – few things are more enjoyable and satisfying to a guy than knowing and hearing that a woman truly enjoys what he does to her in bed. Surely, you shouldn’t fake or exaggerate the physical sensations that you experience during the sexual intercourse, but you should certainly not suppress what you feel. Being as loud as you want to be and feel will make sex much more exciting for both of you.
4. Insisting on turning the lights off – you may be concerned about the guy seeing your naked body and getting turned off, but guess what – he probably knows what you look like without clothes if he saw you with your clothes on, so there will likely be very few surprising for him. If you are too shy to reveal your body to the guy you are about to sleep with, you better address that issue and liberate yourself from that insecurity, as depriving the guy from the opportunity to fully appreciate and admire your body and depriving yourself from the opportunity to enjoy seeing how the guy gets excited about seeing you naked is going to hurt your sexual experience with the guy and take away something very important and exciting from it.
5. Getting up immediately after you are done. I remember my friend telling me about spending his first night with this attractive, interesting girl, who gave him a “handjob” and immediately after he was finished, she jumped up and rushed to clean herself instead of just holding each other and laying in bed. He was upset but he didn’t quite know how to explain to the girl that her behavior trivialized the experience that was supposed to be special to both of them, and she turned it into a very “mechanical” action, lacking any emotion.
6. Making your guy feel guilty about ejaculating too soon. You may be frustrated when the guy is finished before you managed to rich a climax (it takes longer for the vast majority of women to come than it does for most men). It is crucial that you don’t make a guy feel guilty about this and that you know how to handle it properly. First, understand and remember that if the guy comes too quickly it’s a direct compliment to you that you should be flattered by. If a guy comes too quickly, it is most likely because he is extremely turned on by you and find you so sexually attractive and desirable that he can’t help it but ejaculate very soon after he sees you, touches you and/or inside of you. If you decide to address this, make sure you put a positive spin on it. “I really enjoy being with you and having sex with you… I wonder how it would feel if we did it for a little longer” – this should do it. First, you start by saying how much you like being with him; second, you don’t demand but merely suggest to have sex for a longer period of time; lastly, you don’t make him solely responsible for this, but you suggest cooperation by saying “we.”
7. Making the guy feel embarrassed of his fantasies and “fetishes” -being a feminine, passionate woman necessarily means submitting to, and being flattered by a man’s admiration of your body and understanding that his desire to fulfill certain fantasies while being intimate with you expresses his great sexual drive towards you. You cannot make a guy happy in bed if you dismiss his fantasies rather than fulfilling them, sharing yours and enjoying it the way you should be. It’s common for a guy to be aroused by the idea of kissing and otherwise admiring a woman’s feet, especially if she has really nice and sexy feet. Some call it a “foot fetish” but it can hardly be considered a fetish, considering how common it is. If having a guy kissing your feet makes you uncomfortable, you should seriously and thoroughly explore why, do your best to overcome and eliminate whatever mental obstacles you have toward enjoying having your body worshiped in its entirety, by a man, and this will open the door toward enjoying your sex life on a whole different level.
It is just as important to know what turn men on as it is knowing what turns men off in bed. The above tips should help you avoid the most common turn-offs in bed with men that many women are not aware of, and you are much more likely to come across as a much better romantic and sexual partner to any guy.
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2 responses so far
tht was good to know but what makes a guy love a chick,is it the sex or personality.
Great question. I believe a man notices a woman first because of her looks but it’s her personality that makes him stick around. The same seems to apply to women.