Comments on: What turns men off in bed

By: Laura

Laura — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 10:49:39 +0000

@Concerned Guy Thank you so much for your post! I really liked your way of putting the matter: “There are many different types of “after sex” situations….and each has it’s very own acceptable reactions. If you love the person it’s likely something you don’t think about, you already have a routine, but if you are just getting to the sex in a relationship, you’re building these things as you go.” And your point of “It’s entirely a personal thing and should be left as such and if someone has an issue with you getting clean after sex, then there’s issues there that need to be dealt with professionally and you have a decision to make.” was a great way to sum the situation up. Hope you don’t mind my quoting your post, but you said it much better than I could

By: Laura

Laura — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 10:31:42 +0000

@Kaliq Fontaine as per your comment, I reread the original article. The original fellow did say “immediately jumped up” (of course, we don’t know what his definition of that is; it could mean 5 seconds or 5-10 minutes later depending on his point of view), but my response about the 15 minutes and the medical issues was because the original poster did not state how long he wanted the woman to remain in bed and no posters after that gave any parameters either. So, I posted about the 15 minutes in case men (quite naturally) would have no idea about the medical risks and would expect half an hour of snuggling or going to sleep together without getting up till the morning or several hours later. I felt men would appreciate the “insider information” as to why something is done, so then they could adjust their expectations and not have their feelings hurt. You seemed to take something out of my post that I did not intend because you seemed very upset (lots of caps and all that), but please note that I never said a woman couldn’t stay for some cuddling, just not extended cuddling. Please don’t read into my posts, as I’m writing with a kind heart, no agenda, and simply a wish to inform, like Arkady does with his excellent videos and articles. Thank you.

By: Laura

Laura — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 10:15:46 +0000

@Kaliq Fontaine I am thrilled to hear of your cleanliness habits, but believe whole-heartedly that you are the exception, not the norm. All you have to do is read the incredibly scary statistics of the number of normal average men that don’t wash their hands after going to the bathroom That means their keyboard and phone at work as well as your hand after they shake it have stuff from their personal area on it. I’m not saying this as a criticism, just to point out that your cleanliness standards are not as widespread as you might think.

Oh, and please don’t make disparaging hints that a man will clean up before sex “if you’re worth it”. A loving husband, quite eager for sex will sometimes do a thorough cleaning beforehand, but not in the middle of the night when awakening with an urge or in the short time you have for intimacy when the children are napping. And some men would regard a rule that they must wash beforehand as a rejection of their natural male scent or as an unromantic gesture that ruins the spontaneity or “mood”, just like the fellow who wants immediate extended cuddling felt that the mood was ruined by the woman cleaning up.

By: Concerned Guy

Concerned Guy — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 18:05:57 +0000

Wow this is a really good article, and informed. I’d have to agree with 85% of this. There are a couple things that I might not agree with but I can see where the author would think the way they have. Most men, and I mean MOST men, want to see the woman naked, there are so many sensations that you miss if you have sex with the lights out. There’s the sound a woman makes, (which to me is the absolute most sensual way you can communicate with me during sex!), secondly is the visual confirmation that “Yeah she’s loving this” a man needs in order to fulfill the “primal side” of our ego, and that’s the key. I’m not encouraging faking anything! That’s gonna be the single biggest killer of what is likely a natural hunger for your body and senses. If I figure out that you’re faking orgasm or anything for that matter, it’s going to make me second guess everything which, in the end, is a relationship destroyer. Sex is probably the single biggest factor in a relationship for a man. If your man desires you, he will be into you, bottom line. After sex, now that’s a different story, I don’t think any of you are thinking of this the way you should. There are many different types of “after sex” situations. The “shit you have to get out of here before he/she comes home” after sex, there’s the “I love you and don’t care about anything going to sleep” after sex, there’s the “Oh My God, what did I just do” after sex, and each has it’s very own acceptable reactions. If you love the person it’s likely something you don’t think about, you already have a routine, but if you are just getting to the sex in a relationship, you’re building these things as you go. I don’t want to cause anyone I’m having sex with discomfort so if you feel the need to get clean after sex, beat me to the bathroom and you get to go first. It’s entirely a personal thing and should be left as such and if someone has an issue with you getting clean after sex, then there’s issues there that need to be dealt with professionally and you have a decision to make. God I could go on about relationships and men and women for days, but each of us know what makes a relationship work, its just a decision we each make….. is this person worthy of what I have to offer. And that’s a whole nuther article!

By: Newbie2Sex

Newbie2Sex — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 05:36:12 +0000

@Not Signed @Puerto Rico

Thats very unfortunate that the guy acted the way they did. Not very classy or considerate of him at all.

With that all said I agree with the turn offs. I am a guy myself, 19 years old.
I find my girlfriend and I have been discussing what we like and dont like. How to get each other off and so forth.

My thoughts on some of the turn offs:
1. I personally dont really like talking during sex, i find it kinda awkward, although i hear of guys that talk alot. It depends on the individual.

3. 1000 percent agree, such a huge turn on to hear a girl moan. + ego boast!

5. My opinion has been said, the clean-up can wait a little bit. Im lucky in that regard, (never really thought of it) my girlfriend will stay next to me and we will joke around about the mess that was made. Then she will do her thing, while i do whatever i gotta do (change clothes,bedsheets, wipe up spots, whatever).

By: Puerto Rico

Puerto Rico — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 00:55:12 +0000

@Not Signed…I can relate with you 100%. This guy chased me for 1 whole year. I finally gave in and started to date him. He promised 200% commitment and wanted to have an exclusive relationship. One thing let to another, we became intimate and 2 days later I was dumped over a text message. I try to call and even email to see what went wrong…Well…His responsed was “my switch is now off”…How pathetic and vain is that? I have not heard from him for two weeks and I am guessing is all over and I am ready to move on. This article clearly shows the male point of view, but clearly forgets the right steps in treating a woman with respect, honor and dignity.

By: Not signed

Not signed — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 15:18:33 +0000

Re: Making “unforgivable” mistakes which make a man lose interest very quickly and move on as soon as a woman makes one or more of…

This article gives permission for men to dismiss a woman immediately after she shares her body with him, rather than have a talk about what he likes/doesn’t like-which is an essential part of the getting to know each other process, isn’t it? Not allowing the chance for improvement or perfecting technique(s) in combination with a vague break-up conversation or never hearing from him again at all is probably the biggest reason women are left confused about why things made such a sudden 180. My last sexual encounter was a year and a half ago with a guy who broke things off with me 2 days after the last time we had sex together. I let him inside my home, my bed and my body…one week later after the break up I saw him and he looking right past me and did not acknowledge my presence. I now see him once a week regularly and his behavior has not changed. This leaves me humiliated and knowing that the best years of my life-which is right now-are being wasted on thinking that all this dating and sex crap is not worth it and perhaps I am better off alone forever.

Please don’t give me the pathetic He Just Wasn’t That Into Me…I was worth 3 months of his pursuing me until I committed one or more of the above fatal errors. I do apologize for not knowing which or how many, as I was busy having the most intense orgasm of my life. Approximately 48 hours later this would become an experience I never want to repeat again.

By: Kaliq Fontaine

Kaliq Fontaine — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 09:59:15 +0000

One other thing.. Someone made a comment about men’s cleanliness. Don’t know what to tell you on that one, I don’t do ANYTHING with a woman unless I and SHE are clean. I personally want to smell my freshest and be clean so that we can both make what we are about to do an EVENT TO REMEMBER. Funky armpits, funky private parts are a HUGE turnoff. I had a partner once that, when offered, would not shower with me or by herself. Gross. Mind you I asked her for a reason.. It had been a fairly warm evening and we had done a lot. I had showered before we went out. She met me straight after work. Catch my drift? Needless to say we will NEVER have sex again; The day had taken its toll on her lol! Consider the following – Would you rather break some of the initial intimacy to freshen up with your lover or ensure their cleanliness thus giving them your best YOU up front (or vice versa) or deal with bad hygiene? If your man is potentially not up to par with your cleaning habits, please explain to me again why you are sleeping with them?? Trust me ladies, we badly WANT to get into your panties; we will not scoff at a quick shower and we can take a hint IF YOUR WORTH THE TIME. Think about that for a sec.. Raise your standards of intimacy, compassion, and respect for your lover.. If they won’t comply, then they are not worth your sex, its as simple as that.. As a man I have certain standards in bed and I will not bend. I am not the norm, but I should be. You/I WILL be clean. You/I will SMELL clean. You/I WILL be attentive to my/your needs. You/I will give our VERY BEST in bed together. Go hard or go home. As intimate as sex is we sure don’t act like it sometimes. Raise your bar ladies and gentlemen…

By: Kaliq Fontaine

Kaliq Fontaine — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 09:22:02 +0000

A MAN’S POINT OF VIEW… First I must say that this article is DEAD ON. To the women complaining about urinary track infections and what not, I sympathize with your situation, but watch this – If you have 15 minutes to get clean fine, but at least solid 3-5 had better be spent caressing my back or lightly chatting with me. PERIOD. Eating you out is HARD WORK. Pumping in and out of you is HARD WORK. Just as giving head is hard work. Just as being on the receiving end of sex is, or riding, or pumping your hand on us for 10-20 minutes straight. Show us that you enjoyed it SOMEWHAT by just staying close to us for a sec.. The issue is when you IMMEDIATELY jump up and head to the sink or shower or toilet. Listen to what the writer is saying. It’s all about compromise. How would you feel if immediately after sex or even worse eating you out, we jumped up and ran to the bathroom? It would make you feel like wow am I dirty or something? Did I taste bad? Did I smell funny? Catch my drift? 5 minutes ladies.. FIVE. Even if f you’ve got cum dripping or oozing in uncomfortable places and you feel sticky and gooey, play it off by doing something like mounting us and or giving us a slow french kiss while simultaneously carressing our chest or running your fingers through our hair (We love this by the way) and then say something sexy and simple like did you like that babe, or damn that was sexy as hell.. Then say real sexy like, that you’ll be right back! PERFECTO! Next give us a soft peck on the lips and then SLOWLY make your way to the bathroom! This will work and can be done FAST, probably in LESS than 5 minutes!! Trust me ladies when I tell you that sprinting to the bathroom is a definite no-no. I hope that helps or creates more clarity about the situation…

By: Brittany Averyt

Brittany Averyt — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 12:05:18 +0000

for women, pregnancy often creates an increased need for physical affection — a craving that may be greater than the desire for sexual satisfaction. Pregnancy is a wonderful time to explore aspects of making love such as cuddling, holding each other and discovering new positions and new ways of pleasuring. Many women experience added sensitivity during pregnancy and find orgasms lasting longer than when they’re not pregnant. But though intercourse can be very welcome, just talking and holding hands can also be very intimate.