Comments on: When you are a virgin but the girl is not http://www.practicalhappiness.com/when-you-are-virgin/ Practical Dating and Relationship Advice Wed, 08 Feb 2012 21:07:54 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Awakened http://www.practicalhappiness.com/when-you-are-virgin/#comment-5720 Awakened Sat, 07 Jan 2012 12:18:10 +0000 http://www.practicalhappiness.com/?p=53#comment-5720 Hi Thanks a lot for this article, and your website in general. I found myself in exactly this situation. It was however worsened by the fact that it happened in a religious set up. I was a devout Christian, and follower of what you'd call a fundamentalist sect. In my perception, everyone in our group was devout and 'pure'. So you can imagine the disappointment when at 27 and still a virgin, I found someone I really liked, who had been in the system all her life. Man, I was over the moon! She was everything I wanted; beautiful, younger, and more importantly still a virgin, well until she broke the news. As it turned out she had lost her flower some years back, and had had sexual interactions with several men afterwards. As it turned out she had been in a sexual relationship at the time I 'found' her! This was both shocking and life changing. I went through the same emotions you've described above, but in a more intense way. At that point I started re-evaluating my life and values. I decided religion would no longer play a role in my life, and decided to be more 'open'. We're married now, and after going through one storm after another, I'm beginning to cherish her love, loyalty, patience, and maturity. I know that if she had wanted, she would have run off and easily found other men of better status. Be that as it may, I find myself in an awkward situation; I feel I have to make up for 'the lost years'. I've started dating other women, not so much for sex than for improving my confidence, and ego. I'm sure you know what I mean. Hi
Thanks a lot for this article, and your website in general. I found myself in exactly this situation. It was however worsened by the fact that it happened in a religious set up. I was a devout Christian, and follower of what you’d call a fundamentalist sect. In my perception, everyone in our group was devout and ‘pure’. So you can imagine the disappointment when at 27 and still a virgin, I found someone I really liked, who had been in the system all her life. Man, I was over the moon! She was everything I wanted; beautiful, younger, and more importantly still a virgin, well until she broke the news. As it turned out she had lost her flower some years back, and had had sexual interactions with several men afterwards. As it turned out she had been in a sexual relationship at the time I ‘found’ her! This was both shocking and life changing. I went through the same emotions you’ve described above, but in a more intense way. At that point I started re-evaluating my life and values. I decided religion would no longer play a role in my life, and decided to be more ‘open’. We’re married now, and after going through one storm after another, I’m beginning to cherish her love, loyalty, patience, and maturity. I know that if she had wanted, she would have run off and easily found other men of better status. Be that as it may, I find myself in an awkward situation; I feel I have to make up for ‘the lost years’. I’ve started dating other women, not so much for sex than for improving my confidence, and ego. I’m sure you know what I mean.

]]> By: Horny DUDE http://www.practicalhappiness.com/when-you-are-virgin/#comment-5531 Horny DUDE Thu, 01 Dec 2011 23:08:11 +0000 http://www.practicalhappiness.com/?p=53#comment-5531 Im 17 and in high school. So my girlfriend told me she's not a virgin and I am. I felt everything that you described in the article. I like her a lot but it kills me to know that she's already had sex and I'm this douche who hasn't. Our relationship is healthy and we don't fight often, but I really want to have sex and just get this shi* over with. We've talked about it together, but the fact of her not being a virgin and me being a "pussy" just really pisses me off. It feels shameful. Please can you tell me more positives out of this situation that you haven't already listed? Cause I feel like I'm going crazy. Im 17 and in high school. So my girlfriend told me she’s not a virgin and I am. I felt everything that you described in the article. I like her a lot but it kills me to know that she’s already had sex and I’m this douche who hasn’t. Our relationship is healthy and we don’t fight often, but I really want to have sex and just get this shi* over with. We’ve talked about it together, but the fact of her not being a virgin and me being a “pussy” just really pisses me off. It feels shameful. Please can you tell me more positives out of this situation that you haven’t already listed? Cause I feel like I’m going crazy.

]]> By: practicalhappiness.com http://www.practicalhappiness.com/when-you-are-virgin/#comment-5518 practicalhappiness.com Mon, 28 Nov 2011 08:27:28 +0000 http://www.practicalhappiness.com/?p=53#comment-5518 I think it's better to bring up the issue of virginity earlier and not when you are trying to "bust a move" as it might ruin the move or make things less romantic. I think you can transition into it in a casual conversation, and ask the girl about her experience with men. Also, your idea of losing virginity and staying with the same person for the rest of your life sounds wonderful, and it's great to aspire to that, but you also much be ready for things not to work out exactly as you wish. Sometimes things change and people change. And while you may be able to vow for yourself, there simply isn't a way to know how your partner will be a month, a year, or 10 years from now. Hoping for the best, but being ready for the worst is an important mindset to have. I think it’s better to bring up the issue of virginity earlier and not when you are trying to “bust a move” as it might ruin the move or make things less romantic.

I think you can transition into it in a casual conversation, and ask the girl about her experience with men.

Also, your idea of losing virginity and staying with the same person for the rest of your life sounds wonderful, and it’s great to aspire to that, but you also much be ready for things not to work out exactly as you wish. Sometimes things change and people change. And while you may be able to vow for yourself, there simply isn’t a way to know how your partner will be a month, a year, or 10 years from now. Hoping for the best, but being ready for the worst is an important mindset to have.

]]> By: Adam B4 Eve http://www.practicalhappiness.com/when-you-are-virgin/#comment-5515 Adam B4 Eve Mon, 28 Nov 2011 01:46:11 +0000 http://www.practicalhappiness.com/?p=53#comment-5515 I am also a 22 year old virgin. The reason i havent lost my virginity bcuz i dont have the social comfort and self confidence and self esteem. Even though i am tryin 2 improve on those things. Ive come to realise that being a virgin is the right way to go because of the amount of STIs and STDs out there, and also being a virgin makes me feel pure, clean and untouched by contaminated souls. I believe the person that took my virginity should be the one that I spend the rest of my life with. No divorces or break ups, till death do us part. i want to lose my virginity with a virgin bcuz It will equally fair to both of us. I dont want to be walking down the road holding hands with a girl who have had sex with more than 10 guys it will make me feel very uncomfortable when she happens to meet one of her ex-boyfriend introduces me them and the guy turn out to be a really tall black guy, the first thing that it going to pop in my head is two of them having sex and it will also come to my conclusion that her goods are wrecked LOL!! , I dont want any second hand girl. And also if I am not performing as well as her ex boyfriends, she will seek the performance she desires behind my back which will in return STI and STD for me. Non virgins set a standard of pleasure when they experience it and I might not measure up to it. literally!! LOL i dont the believe that BS about two virgins will have no experience, there a endless amount of information on books, movies and of course in internet about sex. We can read and experiment or watch movies, "monkey see monkey do" My question is? how will i know if she is a virgin? Can I ask her the same time i bust a move on her? because I dont want to waste time on her, the time wasted could have been spent on a girl who is a virgin. I am also a 22 year old virgin. The reason i havent lost my virginity bcuz i dont have the social comfort and self confidence and self esteem. Even though i am tryin 2 improve on those things. Ive come to realise that being a virgin is the right way to go because of the amount of STIs and STDs out there, and also being a virgin makes me feel pure, clean and untouched by contaminated souls.

I believe the person that took my virginity should be the one that I spend the rest of my life with. No divorces or break ups, till death do us part.
i want to lose my virginity with a virgin bcuz It will equally fair to both of us. I dont want to be walking down the road holding hands with a girl who have had sex with more than 10 guys it will make me feel very uncomfortable when she happens to meet one of her ex-boyfriend introduces me them and the guy turn out to be a really tall black guy, the first thing that it going to pop in my head is two of them having sex and it will also come to my conclusion that her goods are wrecked LOL!! , I dont want any second hand girl. And also if I am not performing as well as her ex boyfriends, she will seek the performance she desires behind my back which will in return STI and STD for me. Non virgins set a standard of pleasure when they experience it and I might not measure up to it. literally!! LOL

i dont the believe that BS about two virgins will have no experience, there a endless amount of information on books, movies and of course in internet about sex. We can read and experiment or watch movies, “monkey see monkey do”

My question is?
how will i know if she is a virgin? Can I ask her the same time i bust a move on her? because I dont want to waste time on her, the time wasted could have been spent on a girl who is a virgin.

]]> By: I can do what ever i want http://www.practicalhappiness.com/when-you-are-virgin/#comment-5454 I can do what ever i want Tue, 15 Nov 2011 16:12:57 +0000 http://www.practicalhappiness.com/?p=53#comment-5454 I would rather live without sex then, i want my first time experience to be something special we share not something where in a complete idiot who has to get advice from the other. I would rather live without sex then, i want my first time experience to be something special we share not something where in a complete idiot who has to get advice from the other.

]]> By: practicalhappiness.com http://www.practicalhappiness.com/when-you-are-virgin/#comment-5450 practicalhappiness.com Tue, 15 Nov 2011 06:45:24 +0000 http://www.practicalhappiness.com/?p=53#comment-5450 The way to overcome this is by taking this is a painful yet valuable lesson, that sometimes or even more often than that you don't get what you want or expect, but you have to roll with the punches and move forward, because your life goes on. The way to overcome this is by taking this is a painful yet valuable lesson, that sometimes or even more often than that you don’t get what you want or expect, but you have to roll with the punches and move forward, because your life goes on.

]]> By: Innocent little boy! http://www.practicalhappiness.com/when-you-are-virgin/#comment-5448 Innocent little boy! Mon, 14 Nov 2011 21:14:14 +0000 http://www.practicalhappiness.com/?p=53#comment-5448 I am proud of 22 years of virginity, saving it for my love. I am not psychologically ill, i am just a good and Innocent boy. And how can i come over my feelings, when i see the one i loved for years has lost her virginity over a very low class idiot? I am proud of 22 years of virginity, saving it for my love.
I am not psychologically ill, i am just a good and Innocent boy.

And how can i come over my feelings, when i see the one i loved for years has lost her virginity over a very low class idiot?

]]> By: I'm the Devil http://www.practicalhappiness.com/when-you-are-virgin/#comment-5192 I'm the Devil Sun, 18 Sep 2011 03:04:42 +0000 http://www.practicalhappiness.com/?p=53#comment-5192 Maybe if i found out that the girl is not virgin.... hmm i'll just have sex wit her and leave her ASAP X-D well like this topic says.... no one own me as well... no need to be pure and committed if many of the women today is not pure and uncommitted as well. Maybe if i found out that the girl is not virgin…. hmm i’ll just have sex wit her and leave her ASAP X-D well like this topic says…. no one own me as well… no need to be pure and committed if many of the women today is not pure and uncommitted as well.

]]> By: tn http://www.practicalhappiness.com/when-you-are-virgin/#comment-5133 tn Sun, 28 Aug 2011 02:31:46 +0000 http://www.practicalhappiness.com/?p=53#comment-5133 one of the fundamentals of social interaction is that people will behave according to the way you do. so if you act as if it's not a big deal to YOURSELF that you are a virgin (if necessary make it a point that you are one due to personal principles, that you are waiting for someone special) then the girl will behave accordingly and respect you for it. the more convincing and care-free (or even proud) you act regarding the issue, the more respect you get from the girl. on the other hand, if you fumble and treat the issue as if it's a fault on your part, then the girl will see through your insecurity and start losing respect. this reminds me of an episode on Friends, where Monica found out that her boyfriend had only had sex with 2 women during his entire life (keep in mind that he's her father's friend and age), one of whom is Monica herself and the other his ex wife. an insecure guy would be embarrassed and try to hide this fact. but this guy is so confident that he volunteered the information himself, didnt make a big deal out of it and was even proud of it due to its being congruent with his personal principle (that he only has sex with women he loves). needless to say how Monica reacted to this. and needless to say what you should learn from this one of the fundamentals of social interaction is that people will behave according to the way you do. so if you act as if it’s not a big deal to YOURSELF that you are a virgin (if necessary make it a point that you are one due to personal principles, that you are waiting for someone special) then the girl will behave accordingly and respect you for it. the more convincing and care-free (or even proud) you act regarding the issue, the more respect you get from the girl. on the other hand, if you fumble and treat the issue as if it’s a fault on your part, then the girl will see through your insecurity and start losing respect.

this reminds me of an episode on Friends, where Monica found out that her boyfriend had only had sex with 2 women during his entire life (keep in mind that he’s her father’s friend and age), one of whom is Monica herself and the other his ex wife. an insecure guy would be embarrassed and try to hide this fact. but this guy is so confident that he volunteered the information himself, didnt make a big deal out of it and was even proud of it due to its being congruent with his personal principle (that he only has sex with women he loves). needless to say how Monica reacted to this.

and needless to say what you should learn from this

]]> By: Mia Dear http://www.practicalhappiness.com/when-you-are-virgin/#comment-5053 Mia Dear Mon, 18 Jul 2011 08:03:50 +0000 http://www.practicalhappiness.com/?p=53#comment-5053 Haha thank you Google! I know this post was for men but I had to see the male point of view on the subject. . . Although it is frustrating how some believe that virginity is a sacred thing, a lot of women just view sex as sex and assume men are the same. In my mind, it is utterly natural and there really is no special meaning behind sex. Sex really IS just sex. But, if you actually care About the woman you're with, her purity status shouldn't mean a thing to you. Thanks for the perspective! -Mia Dear Haha thank you Google!
I know this post was for men but I had to see the male point of view on the subject. . . Although it is frustrating how some believe that virginity is a sacred thing, a lot of women just view sex as sex and assume men are the same. In my mind, it is utterly natural and there really is no special meaning behind sex. Sex really IS just sex. But, if you actually care About the woman you’re with, her purity status shouldn’t mean a thing to you.
Thanks for the perspective!
-Mia Dear

]]>