While I agree that guys who are too nice with women will most often lose a woman’s interest very quickly, I am also not a big fan of this whole idea of being a “challenge” with women like some sources of dating advice suggest you should follow. I never advocate waiting for 7 days or longer before you call or text a woman after you got her number, or making yourself “artificially” and purposely more busy and less available than you should be.
This is because I truly believe that when you understand the more fundamental principle of what makes men attractive to women, you won’t have to worry about being on purpose more difficult that you really are. And that principle is this: a woman develops attraction, romantic and sexual interest and love for a man not as much because of how he treats her but because of who he is as a person and as a man. How you treat a woman and how you make her feel when she is around you is of course important, but that’s only one, less significant part of the equation. In other words, being too nice, too sweet, accommodating, kind and generous with a woman alone, without the other elements of being an attractive and interesting man, is not going to make her more attracted to him.
On the other hand, when a man demonstrates qualities that make him come across as more masculine – confidence, sense of humor, charisma, being able to lead in typical every-day situations, physical and mental strength and sexual aggression at the right time and in the right place – those qualities will make a woman admire him as an individual more and as a result will make her more attracted to him.
Moreover, being overly nice, accommodating and kind to a woman will actually lead to the opposite result – it will make a woman less attracted to a guy and even be bored with him. I believe that an analogy between sexual encounter and any other interaction between a man and a woman is very helpful to understanding why being too nice with women is a big dating mistake. See, sex, the basic, most fundamental romantic interaction between a man and a woman, is an inherently “dirty” act. It is dirty because people and especially women enjoy it most when it’s NOT played by the conventional rules. Many passionate, feminine women would much rather being thrown against a wall, put on the kitchen table, have their hair pulled, being licked from head to toe and being otherwise physically / sexually dominated than being handled in a gentle, sweet, overly concerned manner all the time. I strongly believe that the things that a woman wants in her sex life are strongly indicative of what a woman desires to see in her partner – a man who is aggressive, decisive, and isn’t afraid to taking risks, while being an interesting, entertaining and at times unpredictable individual.
The movie “Flannel Pajamas” is a great example of how a guy who focuses his entire life on a woman’s needs and wants without demonstrating and developing his own character will eventually become annoying to his partner, no matter how sweet and humble she might be, and will eventually lose her. I highly recommend that you watch that movie so that you do not commit the same many mistakes when you meet a great woman who you want to love you and not lose interest in you as your relationship develops and evolves.
As you watch this movie, notice how the guy says at one point to his wife: “I am sorry, this won’t happen again, I promise,” and I hope you will be disgusted with hearing that as much as I was. While I am a big fan of apologizing when I am wrong, this is simply not the right way to say “I am sorry.” Also, pay special attention how, closer to the end of the movie, he compares himself to his brother and how he correctly points out why his brother is so much more successful at attracting women than he is.