“A girl posts an ad on the online dating site. A guy responds. The girl e-mails back, which leads to phone numbers exchanged and a first date. Their first date lasts for good two hours over lunch, and then the date is over due to both parties having other plans for later on in the day. The date happened on Saturday. What should the girl do next? Ideally, the girl would like to leave the initiative for the guy. If a girl does not hear from guy in the next three days, should she assume that the guy is not interested and move on? What if guy is shy?” – this is a common concern for many single women in search of meeting, dating and hopefully having a relationship with the right guy.
Indeed, I hear the “Why didn’t he call me?” question quite often from women after their first date, and of course it is more common in cases where the woman actually liked the guy and enjoyed his company on their first date.
My answer to this common situation is two-fold. In ost cases, if a guy isn’t calling, he is probably not interested… for whatever reason, which might or might not do something with you. As such, you shouldn’t concern yourself too much with things that you don’t have any control over.
However, as I point in my dating guide for women “What You Wish You Knew about Men” another very important, very interesting, and rarely mentioned reason as to why guys don’t call a woman after going out with her on a date is because they are absolutely convinced that she wasn’t interested. While some guys’ intution is not sufficiently developed to be able to tell whether the girl they went out with is interested in seeing him again, many women consider it inappropriate or are unable to show their interest and desire to see a guy again on their first date in their own subtle but clear and essential ways. A guy who sees know positive response/interest from a woman’s body language, eyes and her general demeanor on a first date is unlikely to contact her again, as no one enjoys not having their interest reciprocated.
I once heard from one of my friends that women tend to be unpredictable and irrational. It seems to be than members of both sex are unpredictable to others and to themselves to some degree when it comes to attraction. You may think of your own dating experience, and I am sure you will remember at least one time when you went out with a guy, told your date that you were looking forward to seeing him again and at that time you really did. However, when he called a day or two later, you didn’t feel the same way about him any longer for whatever reason, and you did not feel like returning his call. The same happens to guys as well.
So, what should you do if you find yourself going on with a guy on a first date and not hearing from him again. Should you call him or should you wait till he calls? Well, I do believe in the old saying “It’s better to regret doing something than regretting not doing it.” So, if you don’t hear from him in a few days, the least you can do to make sure that you don’t need to wonder about the guy and you have clarity in the situation is texting him or e-mailing him a short, sweet note: “Hey… I had a good time last night… I hope to talk to you soon.” – as simple as that. After all, you have nothing to lose and possible something to gain. And if nothing else, it will be an interesting experience.
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